Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Couldn't Be Bothered To Write Their Own Headline
Headlines Couldn't Be Bothered To Write Their Own Headline
Two Index Funds?
An Amoeba With An MBA?
Tanya Tagaq?
What? WHAT? WHAT?
"Trick Question: What performs better than an index fund?"
- Globe and Mail
Conservatives Insist Easy Fish Parole Puts Public In Peril
"Fish jail keeps world's anxiety at bay"
- Toronto Star
Did NOT See That One Coming!
"Canada, U.S. slowdowns perk up TSX"
- Toronto Star
"As earnings expectations dwindle, Dollarama shares soar"
- Globe and Mail
"SNC profit, outlook rise despite dip in revenues"
- Toronto Star
"In the U.S., a downward revision fails to silence talk of an upswing"
- Globe and Mail
"TSX declines amid strong U.S. data"
- National Post
"BMO shares fall despite record profit"
- Toronto Star
"Markets shrug off earnings gloom
S&P 500 hits record despite growing pessimism over outlook for corporate earnings"
- Globe and Mail
"Whistler Blackcomb profit climbs even as visits decline"
- Toronto Star
"Worry-free investors spark new fears
Low volatility and investor complacency raise eyebrows on Wall Street as markets enjoy longest stretch of tranquility since 1995"
- National Post
"TSX rises despite negative jobs data"
- Toronto Star
Wouldn't That Be All Of Them?
"The soldier who didn't kill Hitler"
- Toronto Star
Time Lord Says Task Not "Timey Wimey" Enough
"WHO urged to regulate e-cigarettes"
- Globe and Mail
1. The Shalt Not Pay Heed To Lists Of Advice
"The five commandments of 'Not-Stupid' investing"
- Globe and Mail
Ontarians Hate Hudak
But Will The Sun Admit It?
"Ontario needs Hudak
But do the province's voters realize it?"
- Toronto Sun
Disguise About As Effective As Her Prose Style
"Rowling releases new book under pseudonym"
- Toronto Star
Like People Need An Excuse?!
"The longest day - for drinking"
- Globe and Mail
Lucky...Us?
"Europe Is Struggling To Avoid Deflation"
- New York Times
"Inflation fears stoke Oliver's cautious bent"
- Globe and Mail
Especially Since I Just Asked If You Would Marry Me
"Gun control isn't the answer"
- Toronto Sun
Sure...When They're Called The Superneato Wonderful Life Affirming Liquid Fields
"Will we ever be proud of our oil sands?"
- Globe and Mail
Damn! I Had "Beer And Pretzels" In The Office Pool!
"Macaulay Culkin really likes pizza"
- Toronto Star
...After I Spend My Column Explaining Why Only A Complete Moron Would Think So
"MacKay sexist? You decide..."
- Toronto Sun
They Haven't Over The Past Decade, But Maybe The Markets Just Weren't Trying Hard Enough...
"Markets in Emissions To Rescue the Climate"
- New York Times
And, Corruption Handily Won
"A referendum on corruption"
- Toronto Sun
Nouri al-Maliki? I Thought - Oh, Don't Tease Me Like That!
"The scale of PM's isolation is clear
Increasing calls for Nouri al-Maliki to step down have set the stage for a political showdown when parliament convenes July 1"
- Globe and Mail
Of Course: If He Hadn't Been Such An Airbag, He Wouldn't Have Given Up His Canadian Citizenship
"GM orders halt to sales of Cruzes, citing faulty airbags"
- Toronto Star
At Least It Has A Choice Of Roofs To Choose From...
"SKY'S THE LIMIT
A forest of condo-building cranes are transforming Toronto's skyline"
- Toronto Sun
"Gas goes through the roof"
- Toronto Sun
Learn How To Programme A Computer Or Guard Prisons. Ideally, You Should Be Able To Run Computers In Prisons.
"My industry is in decline. How do I find a new career?"
- Globe and Mail
Unfortunately, Not The Only One Whose Opinion Actually Matters
"Most Catholics in favour of birth control"
- Toronto Star
Because, Frankly, All The Fetal Motorcycle Crash Investigations Were Going Nowhere
"SIU to probe fatal motorcycle crash"
- Toronto Sun
Oh. We Were Kind Of Hoping That It Would Be Better Than Before...
"BUSINESS AS USUAL: KELLY
Mayor Rob Ford set to return from rehab"
- Toronto Sun
Tabloid Headlines At Broadsheet Prices
"Officer acquitted of cannibalism conspiracy"
- Globe and Mail
Only For Tax Purposes
"Death best thing to happen to Jacko?"
- Toronto Sun
We Are Restrained In Our Use Of Restraint
"Another killing raises Mideast tensions
Palestinian leaders hold Israel responsible for slaying of teenager; Israeli PM calls for restraint"
- Globe and Mail
"Death toll rises in Israeli airstrikes
Abbas slams missile strikes in Gaza as scores ki9lled, hundreds more injured"
- Toronto Star
ROWF GRRRRR Never! ARRRRRRR WOOF, Base Replies
"Tories must stop attacking people, appeal to voters, new leader says"
- Toronto Star
Sex And The City Fans May Object
"Mr. Big must die"
- Globe and Mail
Is Also Considered Cutting The Fighter Planes' Allowance
"U.S. military grounds F-35 jets after fire"
- Toronto Star
The Pope Respectfully Disagrees
"PREPARE FOR THE RESURRECTION
This could be the greatest comeback story since Lazarus"
- Toronto Sun
Of Course! They Don't Level Believe They Can Die!
"Ontarians want raised speed limits, poll finds
Highest of support for upping maximum among young males in north"
- Toronto Star
I Knew Smoking Was Becoming Socially Unacceptable, But I Never Imagined...!
"Hacking editor gets 18 months in jail"
- Toronto Star
Hopefully, The City Councillor Will Get Help For His DVP Problem...
"Big problem with DVP: Kelly"
- Toronto Sun
Shouldn't That Be: "A Reborn Cheney Remains Offensive?"
"A reborn Cheney goes on offensive"
- Toronto Star
