Les Pages Aux Folles: If Quotes Got Into a Fight With Captain Kirk, Who Would Win?
Title If Quotes Got Into a Fight With Captain Kirk, Who Would Win?
Now, I'm No Social Scientist, But I Have To Wonder Why Republicans Are So Proud To Proclaim Their Ignorance
"I'm not a scientist..."
- Senate Minority leader Mitch McConnell on the issue of man-made climate change
"I'm not a scientist"
- Florida Governor Rick Scott when asked whether he believed in climate change
"I'm not a scientist, man."
- Florida Senator Marco Rubio when asked to take a position on the age of the planet Earth
"The reality is I'm not an evolutionary biologist.""
- Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal when asked a question on evolution
What About The Things You Should Have Quit?
"I've never quit anything in my life. I'm not quitting this and we're going to win this."
- Toronto Mayor Rob Ford
Absolutely Not!
They'll Be In The Stirrups Of The Flying Unicorns!
"We're not putting boots on the ground."
- Defence Minister Rob Nicholson on Canada's deployment of troops to Iraq
Didn't Your Parents Give You The Talk On Safe Emoticonning?
"Texting is so dangerous! I won't even give guys my number, because I know me. We'll start texting and he'll start emoticonning and I'll start emoticonning, and soon we'll have a big mess."
- actress Emmy Rossum
The "Do-stupid-stuff" Policy Had Muuuuuuch Better Results
"[T]his 'don't-do-stupid-stuff' policy isn't working."
- Mike Rogers, Republican Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee
...Next Time.
"Our government will not tolerate a failure by drug companies to meet their obligations to abide by Canada's high safety and quality standards."
- Health Minister Rona Ambrose responding to allegations that the government failed to deal with drugs it had reason to believe were dangerous to the public
I Don't Believe You...
"Ever since I was a teenager, I've been called a compulsive liar."
- jailed fraudster Shaun Nixon
Clearly, He Speaks The Vatican's Language
"Why were we so stunned and bewildered by the 3,000 deaths on 9/11 when we're so silent about the 3,000 deaths that occur each day in North America from abortion?"
- comment reportedly made by Dennis Savoie, the Harper Government of Canada's appointed envoy to the Holy See
Acting In The Background Without Public Discussion Is So Much Easier
"We have no intention of reopening these debates."
- Adam Hodge, Press Secretary for Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, on the Savoie appointment
Frankly, We're Jealous That That Attention Isn't Going To Us
"He's pandering to such a degree that it's like there is a spiritual force behind this, because who can explain the obsession that Barack Obama and his administration have for this issue?"
- Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality, on President Obama congratulating NFL player Michael Sam for coming out
A Star's Efforts Always Make What Ordinary People Do Pail In Comparison
"New mom Olivia Wilde put her own spin on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge by dousing herself with a pale full of breast milk."
- Toronto Sun article
So, If A Veteran Told You Not To Send Troops Into Iraq...
"A Canadian veteran wounded in Afghanistan approached me at an event in Edmonton, handed me one of his t-shirts and asked if I would pose for a photo. Having spent a great deal of time with members of the Canadian Forces, I have never shied away from an opportunity to demonstrate my support for them and their families."
- Justice Minister Peter MacKay explains why he was wearing a National Firearms Association t-shirt depicting a maple leaf melded with a rifle and the words "No Compromise" at a Conservative Party fundraiser
Oh, But Change Has Already Happened: Ignorant Rage Is Much More Likely To Be Expressed In Public Than It Used To Be
"Does one of Obamas family members have to be beheaded for 'change' to happen?"
- sign outside a Houston gun store
* SIGH * If Only The Number Of Syntax Errors In Headlines Would Subsist...
"In a glade in the middle of a forest, three dozen youths have built themselves a subsidence society governed by simple rules of community and security."
- Globe and Mail review of The Maze Runner
Least Convincing Argument For Voting For Doug Ford
"He comes from a good family."
- voter describing his brother Rob
Ha Ha! You Sure Nailed The Tory Attitu - Uhh, I Mean, Harrumph, That Was In Poor Taste, Young Man - You Should Be Ashamed Of Making The Non-existent Debate Look Ridiculous!
"Why aren't we talking more about the kind of humanitarian aid that Canada can and must be engaged in, rather than, you know, trying to whip out our CF-18s and show them how big they are?"
- Liberal leader Justin Trudeau
Unless You Marry It
"Football is unconditional love."
- Tom Brady
Hopefully, The Generals Are Talking To The Justice Department, Saying, "Hey, Let's Have A Treason Investigation."
"A lot of us are talking to the generals behind the scenes, saying, 'Hey, if you disagree with the policy that the White House has given you, let's have a resignation.'"
- Republican Representative Doug Lamborn
As Long As The Lawyer In You Is Sure...
"If left unchecked, these terrorists could pose a growing threat beyond that region, including to the United States."
- President Obama on IS
We need to "monitor and take action against both organizations and individuals who may undertake activities that are potentially threatening to Canadians."
- Prime Minister Stephen Harper
Like...Native Women?
Or, People Who Live Along Railway Lines Whose Trains Haul Crude Oil?
Or, Refugees Who Need Health Care?
Or...
"My Canada protects the vulnerable."
- Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, defending the government's decision to join the new Iraq war
At Least, That's What The Prime Minister Tells Me, And I Trust Him, And You Should, Too!
"It is important to understand that our decision is not reflexive or ill-considered."
- Defence Affairs Minister Rob Nicholson, defending the government's decision to join the new Iraq war
It's Understandable, Given How Well Climate Scientists Horde Their Knowledge
"I don't know the science on that."
- Lisa Nelson, CEO, the American Legislative Exchange Council, a free-market lobbying group that opposes policies to fight climate change
