Headlines Aren't Psyched About the New Avengers Movie...But They Could Be...

Between The Thought And The Deed, There Is The Albatross
Always, The Albatross

"Hill scandal needs a quick resolution" - Toronto Star

"Don't expect allegations to be cleared up soon" - Toronto Star

1. Don't Get Older

"Five steps to fight age-related weight gain" - Globe and Mail

Actually, That Won't Be True Until A Wedding In Mississauga Is Hit By A Drone Strike

"Canada changed forever
Reality of war against ISIS has finally hit home after attacks" - Toronto Sun

How Many Do You Think Will End Up Living In Their Parents' Basement, Mister Poloz?

"Labour participation rate stuck at 13-year low
Economy shed 10,700 jobs in November, as unemployment rises to 6.6 per cent" - Globe and Mail

"OFL plans staff layoffs in wake of financial woes" - Toronto Star

"Royal bank plans to axe Caribbean division, cut jobs" - Globe and Mail

"Bell Media axes 80 jobs in second round of cuts" - Toronto Star

"Angry Bird studio to cut jobs
Admitting overexpansion, Rovio Entertainment will eliminate up to 130 staff amid financial difficulties" - Globe and Mail

"Wal-Mart Canada set to axe 200 employees at head office" - Globe and Mail

"CMHC to cut 215 jobs in restructuring" - Toronto Star

"Sony warns of $2 billion loss and job cuts
No dividends will be paid and 1,000 staff to be let go" - Toronto Star

"Scotiabank slashing 1,500 employees" - Toronto Star

"Microsoft cuts 2,100 workers in latest layoff" - Toronto Star

"SNC cuts back as commodities crumble
Firm's stock tumbles 8 per cent as it revises profit outlook downward, surprises investors with move to eliminate 4,000 jobs" - Globe and Mail

The Number Of Imported Cuban Cigars Also A Factor

"Country's health is not measured by GDP alone" - Globe and Mail

Wasn't He A Pro Wrestler In The Seventies?

"Cops still looking for flag trampler" - Toronto Sun

Like Producing Less Of It?

"Nuclear head open to all waste options" - Toronto Star

Putin's Sharp Jab To Harper's Solar Plexus Sent Its Own Eloquent Message

"Harper's jab was political genius
Delivering blunt criticism to Putin netted points for the PM and shifted attention from Canada's climate-change shortcomings" - Globe and Mail

Tea Partiers Look On In Awe And Say To Themselves: "You Can Do That? Really?"

"Myanmar's Message To Muslims: Get Out" - New York Times

Across The Street, With Their Homework And To Quit Smoking
Why? What Did You Think?

"Denmark's radical approach to jihadis - helping them" - Toronto Star

Second Headline Writer Obviously Enjoyed The All You Can Eat Sheep Intestines And Clam Dip Bar At The last Idea Dinner

"Citi hit with $15-million fine
Finra alleges bank analysts disclosed advice at private 'idea dinners' that contradicted public research" - Globe and Mail

"Remember banks do good works, too" - Globe and Mail

You're The Kind Of Person Who Asks, "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" Aren't You?

"We've hit rock bottom on climate" - Toronto Star

Remind Me Never To Be Operated On By Brain Surgeon Barbie...

"Brain Mysteries Are Hard to Unravel" - New York Times

Does Homer Know What His Dad Has Been Up To?

"Abe announces wage boost after landslide election win" - Globe and Mail

Your Privacy Is Important To Us. At The Sound Of The Tone, State Your Problem Clearly So That Your Voice Can Be Digitized And Uploaded To The Cloud. Thank You.

"Two U.S. phone firms post client data online" - Toronto Star

"RCMP mistakenly sent sexual assault details
Email glitch blamed for woman's complaint being forwarded to Star reporter" - Toronto Star

"Watchdog wants action on breaches in health privacy Thousands of violations may be unreported due to existing policies, commissioner says" - Toronto Star

Attention Fascination Train?
Proper Festive Acrimony?
Lick My Lovepump?
What Are They?
What? What? What?

"The return to normal hinges on three little words" - Globe and Mail

Yeah, Right! Rand Paul The Other One!

"The most interesting man in the (political) world?" - Washington Post

Pfft! Like There IS A Medical Condition As Serious As Male Infertility!

"Male infertility could be sign of another serious medical condition" - Globe and Mail

The Trick Is Knowing When To Stop Using Orange

"The delicate art of global diversification" - Globe and Mail

A Good Thing, Too
The Intense Taxidermist Killed His Mother And Several Other People!

"The casual taxidermist" - Toronto Star

As Backwaters Go, You Have Your Uses...

"Canada urged to deepen its commitment for Iraq
British defence minister outlines 'critical stage' in war on Islamic State, says Canadian training and arms will go a long way" - Globe and Mail

Amateur Oil Patch Corporate Heads Can't Compete

"Pipelines draw pro protesters" - Toronto Sun

You'd Better Listen Because Big Mother Is Watching You

"'Folks need to relax' about elf, says mom" - Toronto Star

Good To See Fruit Is Available In All You Can Eat Restaurants

"Apple gets a seal of approval from the Buffet model" - Globe and Mail

Marrying For The Right Reasons No Guarantee, Either

"Marrying for the wrong reasons a risky move" - Toronto Star

In The Long Term, Hope To Be Flying With Your Own Wings

"Airline stocks soar as oil price drops
With lower fuel costs, consumers should not expect cheaper fares in the short term, analyst says" - Toronto Star

Fortunately, There Aren't Enough Of Them To Make Life Difficult For The Rest Of Us

"Ethical businesses honour whistle-blowers" - Globe and Mail