What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Headlines Didn't Ask And Don't Want To Know!

As Long As They Have A Plan, I'm Good With - WHAAAT?!

"Scarborough LRT's undoing to cost $75M" - Toronto Star

 "Scarborough subway usage, costs unknown" - Toronto Star

No, But Harper's Government Can Deny It All They Like

 "Can Harper's Canada defy oil dependence's ugly history?" - Globe and Mail

Canadian Newspaper Is Tacky With A Capital Ack

 "American Sniper is No. 1 with a bullet" - Toronto Star

At Least They're Consistent

 "Banks fail ethics test with mortgages" - Globe and Mail

I'm Hoping Burying Them Is Part Of It...

 "What to do with dead gunmen" - Toronto Star

Perhaps Rock Climbing Barbie Wasn't Such A Good Idea After All...

 "With Barbie 'falling off a cliff,' Mattel shakes up management" - Globe and Mail

Yeah, Yeah - Aretha Franklin He Ain't!

"New veterans affairs minister promises 'respectful' approach" - Toronto Star

Oh, The Star Trek Actors Weren't THAT Bad!

"Next generation wood pushes to greater heights" - Globe and Mail

Forget Courage - Does He Have The Strength To Do It With His Bare Hands?

"Does Tory have the courage to tear down the Gardiner?" - Toronto Star

Yeah, I Don't Know That I Want My Home Smelling Of Poet...

 "Infuse your living room with Romantics" - Globe and Mail

Livens The Place Up In The East, Though

 "Rusty car an eyesore in west end" - Toronto Star

I'm Positive They Need More Talented Players

 "Be nice to the Leafs
What boys in blue need is positive reinforcement" - Toronto Sun

Cardinals Assure Catholics It Will Not Come To Resemble The Double-backed Warthog

 "Pope Arranges for a Review Of Church's Divorce Posture" - New York Times

Must be A Helluva Story, Considering It Was Sent To The Moon

 "Long-lost lander found on Mars" - Toronto Star

We Just Have To Pretend The Last Decade Didn't Happen...

 "Canada can lead again on climate" - Toronto Star

Heart Specialists Agree That Better Public Transit The Way To Go

 "Building more roads no sure answer to clogged arteries" - Toronto Star

Listen To Vacuous Right Wing Pundits Instead

 "Reject vacuous politicians" - Toronto Sun

Be Fair! The Conservatives Have Only Been In Power For 44 Years!

"Alberta should have been prepared for oil crisis" - Toronto Star

No It Can't!

"Embracing your inner contrarian can be very lucrative" - Globe and Mail

But If The Country Lets Down Its Guard For Even A Moment, Who Knows What It Could Catch Itself Doing!

"Iraq: Canada has so far avoided supplying weapons to Kurds" - Toronto Star

Fandom: We Never Thought We'd Support The Mouse House, And Yet...

 "George Lucas: Disney scrapped my Star Wars ideas" - Toronto Sun

Airline Shouts, "Look Over There - Taxes!" And Runs Away While Everybody's Back Is Turned

 "Fuel savings not passed to consumers
WestJet opts to use price drop as opportunity to improve bottom line instead of chopping fares" - Toronto Star

They Whisper "Death To Israel" Instead Of Shouting It

 "Yemen's New Rulers Have Moderate Side" - New York Times

Oh No You Did...

 "Pig farmers squeal with delight over pork sales" - Toronto Star

Wow! - There Really Is A Fetish For Everything!

"Cooking with corn smut" - Toronto Star

Really? Because Pretty Much Everybody Else Has...

 "We haven't forgotten the long-form census" - Globe and Mail

The More You Drink, The Better The Headline Reads

 "Canadian Whiskey is Way Better Than You Think" - Bloomberg News

It's An App App App App World

 "THERE'S NO APP FOR THIS" - Toronto Star

 "Towit pitches a digital solution to illegal parking
App creators inspired by 'public shaming' online develop way to assist police in tackling offenders" - Toronto Star

 "Apple's App Store price hike unclear" - Toronto Star

 "Facebook to expand app menu, take over smartphone screens" - Toronto Star

 "Audiobooks.com aims to be 'the next big Canadian tech story'
Burlington-based company plans to unveil new app that lets users create audiobooks" - Toronto Star

 "App for kids with autism encourages eye contact" - Toronto Star

 "Local app helps users in real-time
With uCiC, you can find out if the gym is packed before heading out for a workout" - Toronto Star

 "Crave, Shomi covet Apple TV apps" - Toronto Star

 "I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I'm in love
An app that sends fake boyfriend texts to your smartphone actually involves real live males" - Toronto Star

 "Chat app Kik flouts naysayers, touts its 200 millionth download" - Globe and Mail

 "SCROLLING FOR SEX
How hook-up apps are revolutionizing the middle-aged single life" - Toronto Star

 "TheScore makes the leap to eSports
Mobile sports company becomes the first to launch an app dedicated to multimillion dollar video-game industry" - Globe and Mail

 "Finding a babysitter may just be an app away Toronto startup DateNight connects parents to a child minder through an Uber-like service" - Toronto Star

 I Can Save You A Lot Of Time And Money:
They Hate Our Freedoms, But They Love Our Petrodollars

 "New push for probe into alleged Saudi connection to Sept. 11 attacks" - Toronto Star

Big Brother Gets Wicked Ratings

 "Be careful with what you say around your TV
Voice command feature in Samsung's Smart model could allow transmission to third party, firm notes" - Toronto Star

How Dare They Put The Interests Of Their People Before The Interests Of International Bankers? Bastards!

"Feisty Greece sets itself on collision course" - Globe and Mail

Then You're Not Asking The Right Question...

 "Threesome may not be the answer" - Toronto Star

 As Dawn Nears, Israel Voices Concern
What Else Is Nu?

 "As nuclear deal nears, Israel voices concern" - Globe and Mail

What Could Possibly Goooooooh...

 "Sell Kiev some arms" - Globe and Mail

 "$500,000 worth of artillery shells lost by Canadian military in Afghanistan pullout" - Toronto Star