Headlines Knew the Joke Was Racist, But They Couldn't Help Laugh at it Anyway

Damn! I Knew I Should Have Incorporated Pixie Dust Into The Design!

"Samsung's new phone improved, but lacks wow" - Toronto Star

Well, Duh!
If You Plant Your Chickens In Poisoned Soil, They're Bound To Grow Stunted And Deformed!

"Tracing the Feral Roots of Hawaii's Chickens" - New York Times

At Least Until Sunset...

"Battle for Tikrit could turn the tide in Iraq" - Toronto Star

Only An Ass Would Rely On Butrevenue For Profits

"BlackBerry eyes acquisitions as it posts a $28M profit
Butrevenue falls well short of expectations as phone sales slump in most global markets" - Toronto Star

You're Sure Moving The Complaints Box To The Tuktoyakutuk Office Had Nothing To Do With It? Nothing At All?

"Reduced complaints seen as a sign of customer satisfaction" - Globe and Mail

But, Apparently, Much Broader Beat Down Powers

"Transit enforcement officers have limited arrest powers" - Toronto Star

Flesh And Blood Soldiers Might Be More Effect -
Oh, Wait - That's A Punctuation Thing, Isn't It?

"Poutine, soldier?" - Toronto Sun

What's Left For Them?

"'Investors with greenbacks' eye Canada for takeovers" - Globe and Mail

Why Else Would They Be So Eager To Avoid Conflict?

"Yes, even chickens feel pain" - Toronto Star

The Fair Pillorying Of The One Per Cent Is Something I'd Rather Not Discuss...

"The unfair pillorying of the 1 per cent hurts us all" - Globe and Mail

Especially If It's Other People's Money

"Author believes anyone can manage money" - Toronto Star

Police Carding Proposal Still Racist

"Police carding proposal still under fire" - Globe and Mail

I'm Guessing What Lies Beyond Does Not Involve Puppies And Rainbows...

"Beyond bankruptcy
Target's retreat tactics raise questions about CCAA" - Globe and Mail

Worst Kept Secret Ever!

"Secret Mumford and Sons show sparks frenzy
600 fans wait all day in rain, duvets and umbrellas in hand, to attend sold-out concert" - Toronto Star

They're Lean. They're Hungry. And They Can Do More Damage To The Competition With Their Horns Than A Tank!

"Hiring for startups? Think unicorns - Globe and Mail

We Know The No State Solution Of The Past Decades Hasn't Worked...

"Is a one-state solution the best way forward?" - Toronto Star

The Sum Of All Fears = Panic

"The fear and rewards of playing Carole King" - Toronto Star

"Fear is all about anticipation" - Globe and Mail

"Fear in wake of hep A scare" - Toronto Sun

"Why fat can make you skinny
The author of a new book explains how our fear of fat has made us gain weight" - Toronto Star

"Increase of asbestos imports defies safety fears" - Globe and Mail

"Fear, confusion loosening grip on Liberia" - Toronto Star

"Fear of a bellicose Russia" - New York Times

"Cost-cutting plans spur job fears" - Toronto Star

"TRUTH VS. THE MACHINE
It's better to fear the examiner, not the polygraph" - Toronto Sun

"Rob Ford has left city an inheritance of fear" - Toronto Star

Wasn't That A Frank Capra Movie?

"Meet the healthier, purple tomato" - Globe and Mail

Even If Only Oxymorons Would Live In One?

"Condo culture needn't be an oxymoron" - Toronto Star

Unless It's For Lemons

"Delayed gratification can be sweet" - Globe and Mail

...Except For All The Others

"Broadbent most partisan think-tank" - Toronto Sun

As Long As Nobody, You Know, Actually Does Anything About It

"Time to talk tough on executive compensation" - Globe and Mail

Raccoons Looking Forward To New Challenge
"Things Were Getting A Bit Stale," Claimed Representative RJ

"City looks to outsmart raccoons with new green bins" - Globe and Mail

Fortunately, It's A Shallow Pool

"Tech Sector Drains Wall Street Brains" - New York Times

Oh, Ah, Well - My Abs Are Good, But...

"Six-packs coming to grocery stores" - Toronto Star

Un Hunh - I Expect To Be Shocked

"Energy price surge not expected" - Toronto Star

Sun Has One Idea - Wynn Should Take A Hike

"Wynne has one idea - hike taxes" - Toronto Sun

It's A Good Thing History Has Ended, Or I Would Worry

"China's Dredging Seen as Land Grab in Disputed Sea" - New York Times

"With Money and Charm, Putin Sows Division in Europe" - New York Times

So, It Went From Two To...Three?

"Number of Canadians travelling to fight for IS rising
CSIS says number of known extremists who have travelled to fight in Iraq, Syria spiked as much as 50 per cent in past four months" - Globe and Mail

Well, No, 48 People Were Forced To Remove Their Clothes

"Mass strip search at border not a one-off" - Toronto Star

But, That Would Take Tiiiiiiiimmmmme!

"The crucial first step in judging art: seeing it" - Globe and Mail

Rob Ford's Campaign Team?

"Mayor unveils master plan to take on the city's masked 'evil geniuses'" - Toronto Star

Well, That Hope Was Surprisingly Short-lived

"Canadians should cross their fingers for U.S. resurgence" - Globe and Mail

"Soft U.S. GDP sounds cautionary note for Canada" - Toronto Star