Better To Remain Quiet And Be Thought a Fool
Than To Quote a Fool and Remove All Doubt

Why Choose One When You Can Be Wrong On Both?

"I would rather be on the wrong side of history than on the wrong side of my faith and my beliefs." - Dan Patrick, the Texas Lieutenant Governor, responding to the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage rights 

 There Is No Response About YOUR Self-control That Wouldn't Come Across As Mean-spirited, So I Won't Go There
There Is A Lesson In Self-restraint Here For You...

"If I'm elected president I will go after marijuana smokers and the states that allow them to smoke. I'll shut them down big time. I'm sick of these addicts, sick of these liberals with no self-control." - Republican Presidential hopeful Chris Christie

So, The Show Was Actually A Fantasy?

"Activists and politicians are vilifying Southern culture and heritage as being bigoted and racist. We know that is not the case. And we know that in Hazzard County there was never any racism." - Actor Ben Jones, who played Cooter Davenport on The Dukes of Hazzard, defends the Confederate Flag

 Donald Trump's Bucket List:
?Piss Off Hispanics
?Piss Off Women
See If There Are Any Other Constituencies Worth Pissing Off, Then Do It

"If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?" - retweeted by Republican Presidential hopeful @realDonaldTrump

You Know: The Slathering, Growling Job-killing Bastards

"Trade issue could expose the real NDP" - Globe and Mail

 Because All Male Comedians Look Like Tom Cruise?
Gilbert Gottfried, More Like!

"In the history of the motion-picture business, the number of beautiful, really beautiful women - a Lucille Ball - that are funny, is impossible to find." - former Disney chair Michael Eisner

If He Leads, The World Bleeds...

"Big syllable words and lots of fancy conferences and meetings and - we're not leading. That creates chaos. It creates a more dangerous world." - Republican Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush referring to Democratic leaders

I Especially Enjoyed Olivier's 1937 Version Of The Character

"Batman is basically the American version of Hamlet. We accept that he's played by actors with different interpretations." - Ben Affleck

Wow - You Must Really Hate Him To Give Him Such An Endorsement!

"Chris Christie is a true political hero. I'm really impressed and inspired by this man." - David Koch

And, It's My Pleasure To See That That Number Decreases All The Time

"While most humans wish to die a painless death, many do not have that good fortune." - Justice Samuel Alito explaining why he accepted capital punishment in cases where the means caused suffering

What? You Don't Think They Could Write In Other People's Pyjamas? NOT ALL BLOGGERS ARE THAT SOCIALLY AWKWARD, YOU KNOW!
Now, If You'll Excuse Me, I'm Going To Play Minecraft For The Next 12 Hours

"Much of the digital media universe began as a cottage industry, with bloggers writing and posting from the comfort of their own homes (and often while still in their own pyjamas)." - Simon Houpt, Globe and Mail

So, Are You Saying We're Due For A Loss?

"The government's commitment to our supply managed sector has not prevented us from concluding ambitious free trade agreements, such as the Canada-European Union trade agreement and the Canada-South Korea free trade agreement." - International Trade Minister Ed Fast

You May Not Be So Happy About Her Stand On Sexism...

"I am happy that the prime minister of Bangladesh, despite being a woman, is openly saying that she has zero tolerance for terrorism." - Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi on Sheikh Hasina

Stephen Harper In Talks With George W. Bush To Borrow The "Mission Accomplished" Banner

"As a result, discussion of multi-billion-dollar policies - discussions that could be informed by far smaller investments in statistical infrastructure - can now be pursued in ignorance." - former Statistics Canada official Michael Wolfson on the decision to stop funding its LifePaths database; he claimed that the programme was essential for researching the long-term impacts of policy decisions

 By That Logic, There Are No Muslims Or Jews, Either -
My American Relatives Might Be Surprised To Hear This...

"There's no such thing as an atheist. Because there's too much documentation. Our calendars are based on Jesus Christ. Whether you believe in Him or not, every time you sign your calendar, you write down the day's date, you're saying He's here." - Si Robertson

Man, If Anybody Ever Needed A Good Carding...

"The postulation that an entire police service is racist is false, inflammatory and discourages meaningful debate." - Mike McCormack, President of the Toronto Police Association

His Take Is More Credible If You Imagine Cecil As The Sea Serpent From Cecil And Beanie

"the whole story is a lie. It was a wild lion from a 'park' where hunting is legal & ESSENTIAL beyond the park borders. all animals reproduce every year & would run out of room/food to live w/o hunting. I will write a full piece on this joke asap. God are people stupid" - Ted Nugent, asked what he thought of the killing of Cecil the Lion by Walter Palmer

The Bill Will Come Due At The End Of April

"Christmas in July." - Social Development Minister Pierre Poilievre, crowing about the Universal Child Care Benefit checks that were recently sent to families

 Captain Janeway Is Hilary Clinton, Which Would Make Me...Captain Archer?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

"Absolutely James Tiberius Kirk. The original Star Trek was grittier. Kirk is working class; Picard is an aristocrat. Kirk is a passionate fighter for justice; Picard is a cerebral philosopher... I think it is quite likely that Kirk is a Republican and Picard is a Democrat." - Republican Presidential aspirant Ted Cruz

 Do Republicans Really Think It's Hip To Refer To A Sci Fi TV Series From The 1960s?
The Brady Bunch Not Good Enough For Them Any More?

"Sort of like what Captain Kirk used to say, we need to boldly go where no Republicans have gone before. So we need to go to Harlem, East L.A., Berkeley, maybe even Hollywood, though that may be dangerous." - Republican Presidential antiperspirant Rand Paul

Look, To Believe In Satan, You Have To Believe In God, And The Whole Point Of Being An Atheist Is - Oh, Why Do I Even Bother?

"Atheists worship Satan. Sure, they say, 'Oh, we don't believe in Satan.' Well, the atheist higher ups do. The ones who write the atheist books!" - Alex Jones, American radio show host