From Headline to Headache in 1,027 Easy Steps

Because A Country Doesn't Need To Grow Its Own Food To Prosper...

"Instead of meddling with foreign demand, we should be freeing up urban land supply" - Globe and Mail

Diaper Change, Maybe

"Can Hillary sate desire for change?" - Toronto Star

Libertarian Candidate Not Suffering From Electile Dysfunction

"Johnson rising in the polls" - Toronto Sun

And, End Up At Communism?

"Trump team takes hard tilt to the right" - Toronto Star

Equality Of Ad Hominem Attacks? That's Just Brilliant

"Equality of outcome? That's just stupid" - Toronto Sun

Canada's Waistline Will Be Slimmer, But It Will Lose A Lot Of Hair

"Brexit will affect Canada's trade with Britain, but how?" - Globe and Mail

If Only The Victim Was So Lucky!

"Chicago cops face firing over fatal shooting" - Toronto Star

Write A Newspaper Article About How Annoying Wine Snobs Are?

"How to be more annoying than wine snobs" - Toronto Star

And, Pinpointing The Moment Electoral Politics Became So Polarized

"Alberta fossil site hints at 'epic disaster'
'Bone bed' contains remains of at least a dozen centrosaurs, providing a possible geological snapshot into a cataclysmic event" - Globe and Mail

Irony So Thick, Carl Hiassen Could Have Written It

"Ex-gang leader shot in fitness class" - Toronto Star

Judge Nods Dreamily And Coyly Asks, "Who Knew?"

"Accused needs fair trial: lawyer" - Toronto Sun

I Think You May Be Too Quick To Rule Out Sobbing Uncontrollably As An Option

"If congressional opposition buries the TPP, there's nothing Canada can do about it" - Globe and Mail

The Climate Wasn't Good For His Complexion

"Why Donald Trump wasn't in Vietnam" - Toronto Star

Was It Ever?

"Is GDP still a reliable gauge of growth?" - Globe and Mail

I Didn't See Either On The Menu - Can I Just Get A Coke?

"Pipelines or reduced carbon emissions: choose one" - Toronto Star

Small Business Needs To Get Out More

"Small business aims to catch Olympics buzz with mosquito traps" - Globe and Mail

But, If They Come Across One In The Wild...

"The police are not hunting black men" - Toronto Sun

Better That We Trust In The Tyranny Of Ignorance
I Know Somebody Who Can Lead The Way...

"So much for flossing - and for the tyranny of expertise" - Globe and Mail

The Internet Has Too Much Time On Its Hands

"Topless Trudeau becomes the toast of the Internet" - Toronto Star

Anybody Recall A Time When Products Were Safe To Use?

"Takata to recall more inflators" - Globe and Mail

"Trouble in the produce aisle
A frozen-fruit recall launched last week prompts a look at how outbreaks still happen in Canada" - Globe and Mail

"GM to recall pickups to fix seat belts" - Globe and Mail

"Mars recalls products" - Globe and Mail

"Pfizer recalls Advil liquid products for infants, children" - Toronto Star

"Ford Motor issues three recalls" - Globe and Mail

"Volkswagen recalls 5,900 Tourans" - Globe and Mail

"Toyota recalls 60,000 vehicles" - Globe and Mail

"Ford recalls 271,000 pickups" - Globe and Mail

"Ikea recalls 29 million dressers after 6 kids killed" - Toronto Star

"BMW issues recall over air-bag issue" - Globe and Mal

"Frozen-food recall linked to listeria covers hundreds of items
Suspect products not sold in Ontario, but were carried in variety of stores since 2014" - Toronto Star

"DAIRY
Saputo expands recall" - Globe and Mail

"McDonald's recalls Happy Meal bands" - Toronto Star

Actually, He Lost Because Not Enough People Believed In The Truth He Was Telling

"Hudak lost because he told the truth" - Toronto Sun

Is Suicide Squad: Suicider! Squadier! Not Trade Payoff Enough?

"As the loonie sinks (again), where's the trade payoff?" - Globe and Mail

"Hollywood North's hot market
Low loonie, tax credits driving the Toronto film industry" - Toronto Star

Giving The Phrase "Turkey Shoot" A Whole New Meaning

"Ottawa advises Canadians in Turkey to remain indoors" - Globe and Mail

Because The Devil Is In The Details?

"Cabinet hell-bent on your input" - Toronto Star

And Self-destruct? Oh, Yes, Please

"Will Canada's Tories copy Trump and Theresa May?" - Toronto Sun

How The Horse Got In Their Pyjamas They Don't Know

"Firefighters rescue horse upside down in a gully" - Toronto Star

To Or Not To

"Couche-Tard bulks up with CST deal
Corner store operator says it's not finished buying assets in the sector, but future purchases will more modest" - Globe and Mail

Oh, I Don't Know - When You've Been Practicing Something For So Long, You Can Get Really Good At It

"B.C.'s homeless 'impossible to ignore'" - Toronto Star

Campaign Thrilled That He Has Secured The All-important Dromedary Demographic

"Camel loves fruits and admires Donald Trump" - Toronto Star

Feel Free To Bring Along Your Imaginary Friends

"Wanted: adaptable, experienced learners for the jobs we haven't yet created" - Globe and Mail

Not Unless There Is An Unreleased David Bowie Song About It

"WAS THERE LIFE ON VENUS?" - Toronto Sun

Oops!
I Mean: Seriously Oops!

"TransCanada pitches safety of proposed Energy East" - Toronto Star

"Saskatchewan oil spill fuels fears on Energy East" - Toronto Star

No, But I Think I Have The Meaningless Business Buzzwords Down

"Are you ready for the innovation economy?" - Globe and Mail

Obese Call For Action On Senate
Symmetry Is Maintained

"Senate calls for action on obesity" - Toronto Star