Donald Trump exhibits the opposite of a comic rhetorical device: enlargio ad absurdum...
I deal in ideals...
Eight primates ate prime steak...
Dante and Beatrice - now, there was a match made in Hell!
I eat meals that are so big, I need to cook them in a macrowave!
I can't wait to meet the archival arch rival of Archie Vidal! Les Pages aux Folles: where the sensual is always consensual!
I don't know how to analyze the arguments in favour of deifying the princess: I guess you could say that I'm Di agnostic...
Being a writer isn't anything special: just like everybody else, I put my shirts on one leg at a time!
When people discover my Twitter feed, I hope they're listening to U2's "I Will Follow..."
You won't believe these 14 things that are not part of your belief system!
Ah, well, tomorrow's a nutter day...
I love getting up in the morning and wiping the sheep from my eyes...
The English language is sexist! Why are there SHEnanigans but no HEnanigans?!
I'd like to dispense with despicable despotic dispute...
Satire is humour in a jugular vein...
When we found out how much Claude's painting was worth, we sang, "We're in the Monet!"
I aspire to acquire the prior higher Brier...
I have over 1000 phone apps! Guess I should get a phone now...
Oh, please! I'm a writer - of course I live in my own little world!
Fifty is the new 49!
The poet Nash led such a dissolute life that people who knew him thought of him as an Ogden of iniquity...
When life decides that you're the goat, you better learn to enjoy bleating!
The book of 1,000 pages begins with a single word.
Why do nuns who enjoy watching Bruce Willis movies live the longest? Old habits Die Hard...
I try not to be intolerant of anything or anyone - at worst, you could say I'm lactose fussy...
If Harlan Ellison started editing anthologies of cutting edge science fiction again, would he call the series Dangerous Revisions?
The family that does laundry together...enjoys the films of Michel Gondry together?
Life is a mystery enfolded in an enigma wrapped in a hard tortilla shell...
As the Red Queen truly advised, it is essential to break six rules of writing before breakfast...
You cannot remove what was never there...
Smart people create the world; unfortunately, dumb people are the ones who run it...
Scarfing breath mints before a big date is my Tic Tac tactic...
Lap, dog, lap!
The architect, angry that City Council didn't want him to design a larger stadium, cried, "I'll tier you a new one!" Les Pages aux Folles: where we sing "Smoke Gets in Your Teeth" because we always aim lower...
It was a hassle to wrastle the passel of tassels...
What's so gad about zooks, anyway? Les Pages aux Folles: putting the "decor" back in "indecorous..."
Space pants!
That's life, isn't it? Zero to sixty in no time at all...
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain geeky multitudes...
I'm really good at absurd - it's the surd that I have problems with...
You're not going to get closure on your life - would you settle for the closure of your word processing programme?
Drama queens always fight over who is going to get their hands on the emote control...
If the discoverer of the Polio vaccine hadn't been given the credit he deserved, he would have been known as Jonas Sulk...
If you're looking for a word that indicates a choice between two plausible alternatives, either might be correct...
Freed of the need to knead Reid, she'd treed the steed at great speed...
I think "Live free or dye" would make a great ad for hair care products...
You know how it goes if you're a Martha and the Muffins fan: Life's an "Echo Beach," and then you die!
I'm sorry, but I freeze up at the thought of going formal to an event. I have tuxic shock syndrome...
Whoever thought that Telespittoon would be a great niche TV network needs to find another line of work!
The last time I hit the Noooooorth-uh, the Noooooorth-uh hit back! I'm never doing that again - it hurt!
I don't want to go into detail about how well Elizabeth hops, but let's just say that the Shue is on the other foot now...
It's hard to be a rebel without applause...
