Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Wouldn't Eat That if You Paid Them...How Much?!
Headlines Wouldn't Eat That if You Paid Them...How Much‽
There's Balance For You!
"Watchdog says Ford must find $6B to keep promise
Income tax cuts require more savings, financial accountability officer says"
- Toronto Star
"More cuts needed to balance Ontario's budget, watchdog says"
- Toronto Star
If You Can Pile Them High Enough, The Resulting Wall Can Keep The Floodwaters At Bay
"How flood maps can protect your home"
- Globe and Mail
Now That A Party You Support Has Won? NOW It's Time For Reason‽
"Anger wins votes. Now it's time for reason"
- Globe and Mail
Well, That Was Random!
"Dad wrestles toddler away from dingo"
- Toronto Star
He's Just A Naughty Boy!
"Quebec City mosque shooter isn't a terrorist, father says"
- Globe and Mail
Distinguishes Himself From All Of The Politicians Who Support It
"Scheer vows criminal crackdown on human trafficking in election pledge"
- Toronto Star
I'm Sure The NDP And Green Party Might Dispute That...If Anybody Actually Paid Attention To Either Of - Ah, I See Your Point
"Liberal and Conservative world views are so close our election isn't worth hacking"
- Globe and Mail
But, Don't You Believe McCarthy Was Right?
"Trudeau's cries of neo-Nazi just modern-day McCarthyism"
- Toronto Sun
YOU WANT: Higher Wages
YOU'LL SETTLE FOR: Shorter Hours
YOU'LL GET: Pantsless Fridays
"In today's hot job market, employers must be creative
With the unemployment rate dipping to 5.7%, small-business owners are finding ways to better sell themselves to potential hires"
- Globe and Mail
Meanwhile, In The Hot Job Market...
"Hootsuite cutting costs with layoffs after failed attempt to sell company"
- Globe and Mail
"Barrick slashes jobs at Toronto office, director Munk to resign"
- Globe and Mail
"Faraday Future announces layoffs"
- Toronto Star
"Environment agency sees job cuts, despite Ford's election vow
5 workers to be laid off as part of merger with auditor general's office"
- Toronto Star
"Torstar cuts 13 jobs at StarMetro in Toronto; no publications across country will be cancelled"
- Toronto Star
"VitalScope cuts 30 jobs amid shifts in digital-media sector"
- Globe and Mail
"Ikea could cut, change 150 jobs in Canada
Move will allow retailer to focus on e-commerce"
- Toronto Star
"Bombardier cuts 490 jobs in Belfast
Union representing affected workers in Northern Ireland says move is a 'major attack' on local work force"
- Globe and Mail
"Cambridge RV firm shuts down
Only vacation pay offered to 900 workers laid off in surprise terminations"
- Toronto Star
"Tesla faces headwinds as thousands of jobs to be cut"
- Globe and Mail
"Concern over Brexit leads automakers to pump the brakes
Ford and Jaguar Land Rover cut thousands of European jobs amid economic slowdown"
- Toronto Star
"Windsor auto plant to lose 1,500 jobs"
- Toronto Star
"2,700 GM workers in Oshawa facing uncertain future
'Devastating news' for city as union told plant has no production allocated for 2019"
- Toronto Star
"Thomson Reuters to cut 3,200 jobs by 2020"
- Toronto Star
"Volkswagen unveils plan to cut up to 7,000 jobs in push to boost profitability"
- Globe and Mail
"Ford to cut 7,000 jobs in global restructuring
Automaker to save $600-million a year with 10% decrease in white-collar positions; Canadian unit to announce details Tuesday"
- Globe and Mail
If They Had Been Working For ICE, They Would Have Been Given Medals
"Child-torturing parents sentenced to life in jail"
- Toronto Star
Is This The Same Ottawa That Should Get Out Of The Way And Allow Business To Flourish On Its Own, Or Is This A Different Ottawa, Maybe The One In Ukraine Or France?
"Ottawa needs to jump-start business investment to keep economy growing"
- Globe and Mail
He Laughed Himself To Death
"Man dies after gun in diaper bag goes off"
- Toronto Sun
Oh, We Are So Doomed
"If Kenney won't lead on climate, investors and industry should"
- Globe and Mail
You'll Miss Killer Bes When They're Gone
"New Ontario Line can built by 2027, province says"
- Toronto Star
Workers Still Have Bargaining Power?
"Tech is eroding the ties that bind inflation, employment
Rise of the gig economy and the shift to online shopping are remaking the labour market - with workers losing their bargaining power"
- Globe and Mail
Especially Those Whose Favourite Colour Is White
"Jason Kenney won because he understands Albertans"
- Globe and Mail
They Cover News I Don't Want To Know About
"Khadr segment highlights problems with CBC's funding"
- Toronto Sun
Some Words Confuse The Hell Out Of Proofreadres
"Saudis warn they will defend against Iran
Fears of conflcit run high in area after kingdom's energy sector targeted"
- Toronto Star
They Know What They're Talking About: China's Government Was Arrogant Before Westerners Stopped Living In Caves!
"China: Arrogance drives Western effort to limit Huawei's activities, ambassador says"
- Globe and Mail
He Could Use A Velvet Sledgehammer
"Ford must cut spending carefully"
- Toronto Sun
"Sucker"
"N. Korean launches send a message to Trump"
- Toronto Star
That's One Tough Mother!
"Be nice to Mother Nature, or we're dead"
- Globe and Mail
No? Just Watch Us!
"Voters can't make same mistake federally as in Ontario"
- Toronto Star
How Dare The Data Make Such Claims‽
Facts Are Obviously Politically Biased!
"All industries lack gender diversity on boards: data"
- Globe and Mail
You Would Have Thought That They Would Have Learned That People With The Flu Spend Less Time At The Craps Tables
"Crackdown on dirty money rattles Vancouver's rollicking casinos
Move by B.C. government seen as reducing volume"
- Toronto Star
In Other Words, Don't Work For Tabloid Newspapers?
"JJ Wilson: 'Be egoless about what you don't know'"
- Globe and Mail
"KENYA GET LOST?
"Royals want to sent Meghan and Harry to Africa"
- Toronto Sun
Not Likely As Long As The Voters Of Today Yearn For Yesterday
"The problems of tomorrow require political will today"
- Globe and Mail
Headline Editing Couldn't Get Any Worst
"Worse premier ever? It isn't Mike Harris"
- Toronto Star
Caffeine Is More Effective If You Drink It In The Stratosphere
"Elevate your morning cuppa"
- Globe and Mail
As Long As He Keeps His Head About Him, The Court Jester Gets The Last Laugh
"Political satire in the crosshairs"
- Toronto Star
"Ukraine elects comedian in landslide"
- Toronto Star
