Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Don't Ask, Don't Smell
Headlines Don't Ask, Don't Smell
Death
Devastation
Pancakes
"What are possible futures for Iran?"
- Toronto Star
If You Drink Enough Of Them
"Are celebrity-crafted whiskies any good?"
- Toronto Star
Who Is Your Peer - Hannibal Lecter‽
"Am I a jerk for not wanting to let industry peers pick my brain?"
- Globe and Mail
A Band Aid And A Lot Of Opioids
"What does health care mean to Americans?"
- Toronto Star
Not Unless They Want To Incur The Wrath Of The Internet Research Agency
"SHOOTING FOR GOLD
Will the World Anti-Doping Agency live up to the ideals of sport and ban Russia from the Olympics and Paralympics?"
- Globe and Mail
Not Since It Started Picking Up Satellite Radio
"Is your toothpaste boring?"
- Toronto Star
What Would Robert Johnson Do?
"Federal Tories find themselves at crossroads
Can Peter MacKay finally answer the questions that haunt the Conservatives?"
- Toronto Star
He'll Always Be At Least 70 Kilometres Away
"PM's new term could be shaped by how he handles this crisis
Is Trudeau willing to distance himself from a rogue neighbour?"
- Globe and Mail
Do Any Adult Archies Any More?
"But will baby Archie grow up saying 'eh'?"
- Toronto Star
With A Blank Check
"Should Toronto's graffiti artists be getting paid?
Message says tour operators exploit artists, but how do you compensate anonymous work?"
- Toronto Star
Take The Parts Of Each Diet That Support The Food That You Already Eat
"Picking out the good bits
They're the super-diets we keep hearing about: keto, vegan, intermittent fasting. But how do you take the best parts of each and make a diet you can stick to?"
- Toronto Star
The Past
Is This Some Kind Of Trick Question?
"What is the Conservative future?"
- Globe and Mail
I Don't Know - WHAT HAPPENED IN 2019?
"What happened in 2019?"
- Toronto Star
"Was 2019 Canada's horrible year?"
- Toronto Sun
Oh, What Has Rob Done This Time?
"A case of déjà vu all over again at Lowe's?"
- Toronto Star
Be Fair! They Hardly Ever Wait Until The Body Has Started To Decompose Any More!
"Are Canadian boards too slow to fire CEOs?"
- Globe and Mail
I Hope So, Because Eh, Bee And Cee Were Useless!
"Can Dee meet our spending challenge?"
- Toronto Star
If You Work For The Government, Yes
If You Work For The Mob, You Might Want To Think More Carefully About It
"Should I snitch on a cheater?"
- Toronto Star
Women Seem To Think So
"Does it pay to invest in gender diversity?"
- Globe and Mail
Too Many Spanish People
"What's the matter with Spain?"
- Toronto Star
Because "This Is Why You're Not Allowed To Have Nice Things" Is Too Popular A Laugh Line
"Why can't we have beauty?"
- Toronto Star
If So, It May Be The Only Thing They Do Ethically
"Can only the rich eat ethically?"
- Globe and Mail
Can I Wear It Around The House?
"Want an album with that T-shirt?"
- Toronto Star
No, Just In The Fantasy League
"A 'middle class' minister? For real?"
- Toronto Star
Shave Your Head To Atone For Your Sins
"How can I move on from my long-term stylist without feeling disloyal?
- Globe and Mail
It Would Be A Very Different Tale
"What if Little Mermaid kept her tail?"
- Toronto Star
I Did Up Until Last Month...
"Want to increase the odds of your marriage surviving?"
- Globe and Mail
After The Apocalypse, It Will Look Very Post-apocalyptic When The Flowers Grow Out Of It
"What's the point of the 407 if we can't afford to use it?"
- Toronto Star
Sure. He Can Always Leverage His Primary Residence For Investment Funds, Even If It Is Now A Cardboard Box
"His international investments did terribly.
Should this Canadian investor try again?"
- Globe and Mail
If You're Using The Cables From Your Car, Probably Not
"I've boosted my energy, but am I sleeping better?"
- Toronto Star
Zyzzyva
"THE LAST WORD
What role do encyclopedias play in the modern world?"
- Globe and Mail
Absolutely! If Necessary, The Pessimism Of 2020 Can Last The Rest Of The Decade!
"The pessimism of 2020: Is there enough time?"
- Toronto Star
Sure - When You've Been Dead For Six Months
"Entrepreneurs: Can you really take the afternoon off?"
- Globe and Mail
For Papa Smirnov's Magic Elixir Of Youthe, And Johnson's Newfangled Stirrups
"What ads will Canadians see during the Super Bowl?"
- Toronto Star
