Thank you, Adenoid Hinkel, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were told that Twiggy the water skiing squirrel would not be performing at the Toronto International Boat Show. No Twiggy, the highlight of our day‽ Apparently not: municipal regulations prohibit keeping an Eastern grey squirrel in captivity. Oh, come on, municipal regulations! Captivity? Really? How captive can you be when you've strapped adorable pieces of wood to your hindpaws and you're gliding along the water, red cape billowing in the breeze‽ Before and after the show? Oh, that captivity! Well, shucks
Other than binge-watching the last season of The Good Place, we mean. Or, the first season of The Boys. Or, Doom Patrol, The Umbrella Academy and Teen Titans. Or, Picard, Discovery, The Mandelorian, The Flash, Black Lightning, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. -
Excuse us, but we've got to stop whining and start watching!
Enjoy,Substitute "Grate" For "Great," And The Other Half Of The Country Will Agree
President Donald Trump's State of the Union Address (for those who don't have the time to listen to the whole thing):
I'm great. The economy is great. Because I'm great. Your life is great. Because the economy is great. Because I'm great. Everybody knows how great everything is. And who is responsible for how great everything is. Spoiler: ME! Remember when I reunited a mother and her child with their veteran husband and father. No? Here you go, then. Surprise! But a great surprise. For a great family. Because I'm great. And I support the troops greatly. Then, I want to award the Medal of Freedom to a great American, Rush Limbaugh. Because he is great. And I am great. So, I will. But, you know who's not great? The Democrats. The Democrats are not great. The Democrats are so not great, they're anti-great. The Democrats are double plus anti-great. That's as not great as you can possibly get, folks. So, remember: Democrats double plus anti-great, me great. Thank you, and good night.
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=989&dir=bb]
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Though It Does Explain Family Feud...
When Catherine Tate was chosen to be the President and CEO of the CBC, I thought it had finally gotten the message. If you want to create popular programming, it helps to have a veteran comedian in a decision-making position! It certainly didn't hurt that Tate had spent a year as a companion of the Doctor on the very popular British television series Dr. Who. Okay, Tate isn't Canadian, but given the generally lacklustre programming the national broadcaster has been producing for decades, perhaps she was exactly what was needed.
Well. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that the new head of the CBC was Catherine Tait, not Catherine Tate. T-A-I-T, not T-A-T-E. I guess that's what happens when you're only half-listening to the press conference.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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d) Offering Him Her Hand To Shake And, When He Goes To Grasp It, Jerking Her Thumb To Her Nose And Blowing Him A Raspberry (Because Sometimes You Have To Communicate With People On A Level They Understand)
11 for the road) Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi tore up President Trump's State of the Union Address while he was being applauded for it by Republican members of Congress (and Democrats who didn't walk out partway through it). Afterwards, she explained that it was "the courteous thing to do considering the alternative." What was the alternative?[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Let 100 Flowers Bloomberg!
With too many candidates still in the race for the Democratic Presidential nomination and the fiasco that was Iowa, many party faithful are looking to Mike Bloomberg to swoop in on Super Tuesday and become the frontrunner to save the world from Donald Trump.
Because what the party really needs to beat a Republican billionaire who bought an election is to nominate a Democratic billionaire who wants to buy an election.
SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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"Well, Not All Of Them, Obviously. I Mean, Not The Scumbags Who Didn't Vote For Me..."
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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There's...Umm...Sorry, But That's Not How That Phrase Usually Goes...
Where There's Hopelessness
Nancy PelosiSOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/809.html]
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