Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Just Threw Up a Little In Its Moth
Headlines Just Threw Up a Little In Its Moth
Ceci N'est Pas Un Pipe Reve
"Virus-free office environment a pipe dream, experts caution
The solution may be simply having many employees continue to work from home"
- Toronto Star
With Netflix And Microwaveable Popcorn, Being Alone Can Be Made Bearable
"Thoreau's Lessons in Constructive Solitude"
- New York Times
Collective Action?
Okay. You Start...
"Can crisis help create a new kind of city?
We need to treat this experience of society mobilizing as a dress rehearsal for collective action"
- Toronto Star
Too Bad The Small-minded Spirit Of Big Business Is What We're Getting
"The small-business spirit of rebirth can see us through"
- Globe and Mail
If Only They Didn't Rely On Dumb Provincial Governments!
"Canada's future relies on the creation of smart cities"
- Toronto Star
It Ends With Admitting Defeat
"It starts with a winning attitude"
- Toronto Star
If You Set Up A Blanket And Picnic Basket On The Floor Of Your Living Room, You Can Even Stop Crying For A While
"It may be time to wear that sunscreen indoors
Experts say UVA rays from the sun can still age skin through windows"
- Toronto Star
What A Bird-brained Ide - Uhh, Sorry...
"THIS PANDEMIC MIGHT TURN US ALL INTO BIRDERS
With the animal kingdom spared from the lockdowns that have kept billions of humans at home, birds can bring colour, drama and comfort to our lives - if we know where to look"
- Globe and Mail
Number Four Will Surprise You!
Number Six Will Make You Wipe Your Nose On Your Sleeve!
Number Two Will Make You Write Bad Checks!
"Here are six ways that government might change in Canada following the pandemic"
- Toronto Star
What, That Puddle?
"Missing the outside world?
Take comfort in your inner life"
- Globe and Mail
Scenes Of People With Green Gunk Slathered All Over Their Faces Expected To Become Prominent In Post-virus Movies
"Face mask makers go into overdrive
Factory has received orders for half-billion masks in past week"
- Toronto Star
Hmm...Sounds Familiar...
"Testing in Ontario remains below target
Ford pivots from saying province is leading country to blaming system"
- Toronto Star
Then, Do What Lou Dobbs Tells You To
"When it comes to business, always question what you believe to be true"
- Globe and Mail
You Must Be Doing It Right, Then
"Hands down, sex right now is one touchy subject"
- Toronto Star
No Jobs? Oh, Well - Your Loss
"Palliser laying off staff, closing Winnipeg facility"
- Toronto Star
"Freshii cuts office staff, delays financial results"
- Toronto Star
"Real estate publisher lays off 70"
- Toronto Star
"Postmedia to lay off 80, permanently shut 15 papers"
- Toronto Star
"Canopy Growth to lay off 85, cease some operations"
- Toronto Star
"Owners of Donkin coal mine permanently close operation
About 100 laid off, with five being kept on to ventilate facility, keep it free of water"
- Toronto Star
"Toronto Zoo lays off 118 employees"
- Toronto Star
"Boston Pizza laying off half of 192 corporate staff across Canada"
- Toronto Star
"Hexo cutting 200 jobs in ‘right-sizing'
Cannabis company eliminates some executive positions to ensure ‘long-term viability'"
- Toronto Star
"Teck resources plans to cut 500 jobs"
- Toronto Star
"Cineplex, MEC enact mass layoffs amid COVID-19 closings
Outdoor equipment company letting more than 1,300 store employees go by the end of the month"
- Toronto Star
"Fiat Chrysler cuts 1,500 jobs
Automaker slashing third shift at Windsor plant"
- Toronto Star
"WestJet to lay off 1,700 pilots"
- Toronto Star
"CIBC takes restructuring hit tied to 2,000 looming job cuts"
- Globe and Mail
"Oakville, Mississauga laying off 2,800 workers
Part-time employees mostly tied to facilities, programs that are closed"
- Toronto Star
"Uber to cut 3,700 jobs, close 180 service centres"
- Toronto Star
"HSBC plans to cut 35,000 jobs over three years amid revamp
Britain-based lender to reduce investment bank, overhaul U.S. and European divisions"
- Globe and Mail
It's The Same Old Story
Of Hype And Glory
"New York Times posts record subscription rise
Rise in digital readership pushed up revenue despite slide in ad sales"
- Toronto Star
"Torstar ad revenue down, subscriptions up
Pandemic delivers hit to ads, but subscriber revenue resilient"
- Toronto Star
So They Can Compassion Each Other To Death?
"It's time to unleash Doug Ford on Trudeau"
- Toronto Sun
You May Wonder Why You Should Listen To An Actor, But He Played A Conehead, So He Knows What He's Talking About!
"‘Closest thing to an alien invasion,' Aykroyd says
SNL alum believes we should fight virus by ‘doing what we're doing'"
- Toronto Star
It Is, However, Technically Ahead On Points
"Hate Is Not Winning"
- New York Times
Appropriate Observation Considering How Most Of Us Are Living Like Monks
"Nice curbs, shame about the asphalt"
- Toronto Star
So, You Don't Mind Me Soaking In Your Jacuzzi For A Couple Of Hours?
I'll Bring My Own Bubble Bath...If You're Running Low...
"At home, we're all in this together"
- Toronto Star
The Trick Is To Get Fifty Million Of The Bovines To Do It At The Same Time
"Cow Burps Offer Potential Climate Solutions"
- New York Times
It's A Sad Comment On Our Times When Young People Learn Their Social Cues From Politicians
"Provinces set to ease restrictions as death toll rises"
- Toronto Star
"Teen not taking virus threat seriously"
- Toronto Star
In Economics, This Is Known As "Artificial Scarcity Equilibrium"
"The world's biggest diamond mine is closing
With Argyle's cheap stones off the market, prices will likely rise"
- Toronto Star
Worse And Worser
"History Says a Pandemic Can End Two Ways"
- New York Times
Not At All: He Just Spells It With A "D" Rather Than An "R"
"Harper's column misses one key point: reflection"
- Toronto Star
When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Implement Their Exit Strategy
Don't Like It? Tough!
"Head of World Trade Organization departs early"
- Toronto Star
Meet The New Normal, Same As The Old Normal (But With More Hand Sanitizer)
"After Virus, A Changed World"
- New York Times
Was The Tentacles Transplant Really Necessary?
"I can't hug my mom without feeling repulsed"
- Toronto Star
