Cut Headlines Some Slack!
They've Been Having a 2020 Kind of Year...

You Don't Think So?
He's Just About Completely Erased Barack Obama's Legacy, And He's Currently Working On FDR's!

"Trump can't erase RBG's legacy" - Toronto Star

Another Counter-example For People Who Think Writing Headlines Is E-sy

"Speech echos earlier indications EI reform in the cards" - Toronto Star

Top Doc Needs To Get Watch Checked

"Top doc: Time to get serious
Provinces crack down as cases soar across much of nation" - Toronto Sun

 1. A Ton Of Money
2. More Money
3. Lots More Money
Stir Until Economy Comes To A Boil

"Ingredients for a good economic recovery recipe" - Toronto Star

If It Isn't, Continue The Chicken With Its Head Cut Off Strategy

"If the worst is over for Canadian bank stocks, here's a strategy" - Globe and Mail

That's Not Fair! Sometimes, The Bias Is Totally Intentional!

"Migrant workers face 'unconscious bias'" - Toronto Star

Medical Reporter Bumps Up Against The Limit Of Metaphors

"To arms, bodies!
Humans are equipped with internal alarm systems, smart bombs and a central command centre, Lawrence Steinman writes. If this is a war against COVID-19, we possess the biological capacity to tackle the enemy with soldierly force" - Globe and Mail

By Holding America's Beer

"Canada must do its part to help world conquer virus" - Toronto Star

Limit The Food To Small Bytes

"Host pandemic party
How to throw a dinner soiree responsibly" - Toronto Sun

Should Have Stuck With American Propaganda - It's Better For Our Health

"How Globe got it wrong publishing Beijing propaganda" - Toronto Star

Farmers Would Rather Forget Their Socially Awkward Youth

"Modern Experiment Produces Old Dates" - New York Times

Not That Anybody Cares About Their Beer Consumption...

"Quebec reports more than 890 new cases" - Toronto Star

Convincing The Homeless People Who Live There To Be Tested Was A Challenge

"Ottawa's sewer system offers proof that virus is spiking" - Toronto Star

We Don't Go Anti-panic That Often, So You Know We're Serious

"Avoid panic over spike
Context matters when tracking virus cases" - Toronto Sun

Remove The Last Word From The Headline, And You've Pretty Much Summed Up Capitalism

"Investors see opportunity in pain clinics" - Toronto Star

Reality Refuses To Make Eye Contact, Bashfully Apologizes

"White House Confronts Reality" - New York Times

Paper Clips?

"Upgrade your staples to the next level" - Toronto Star

 "So Unfair"
Gay Man Jealous Of Rumours That Others Are Hugh Jackman

"'So mean-spirited'
Hugh Jackman's wife slams rumours that he's gay" - Toronto Sun

 Things Could Always Be Worse
It Could Be 1276

"Even this year, there is room for gratitude" - Toronto Star

I've Never Been So Grateful To Be Illiterate

"Memoir as revenge: Barbara Amiel's campy tell-all is a must-read" - Globe and Mail

But They Won't Be Complete Without Al

"Border security faces new norm, experts say" - Toronto Star

 "Serving up workplace change
Anti-racism campaign fights to overhaul accepted norms in hospitality industry" - Toronto Star

 "Racism in corporate suites is the norm" - Toronto Star

Cold War Takes On Whole New Meaning

"Iron COVID Curtain to stay shut" - Toronto Sun

It's The Eternal Question: What's A Corporation's Life Worth?

"Industries fear second wave
Experts say retreat to earlier restrictions could be fatal as aid programs wind down" - Toronto Star

 President Whines He Fed More People Than Skip The Dishes
Wonders Why He Wasn't Given A Slice Of The Prize

"World Food Program wins Nobel Peace Prize
UN agency recognized for efforts to combat hunger amid pandemic" - Toronto Star

 We'd Believe More In His Schoolin'
If Only He Would Stop Droolin'

"O'Toole ain't foolin'
Conservatives' boss means business" - Toronto Sun

How Bad Is It? Skynet Sent A Thank You Note

"Canada's deafening silence on creation of autonomous weapons" - Toronto Star

Who's Gonna Make Us/It/Them?

"Canada must learn from this pandemic and do better" - Toronto Star

 "Metrolinx must honour its Jane-Finch land deal" - Toronto Star

 "We must improve testing" - Toronto Star

 "Throne Speech must include a lifeline for restaurants" - Toronto Sun

 "Our recovery must be just and equitable" - Toronto Star

 "Anti-racism education must be a priority this year" - Toronto Star

 "Canada must oppose Israel's annexing of West Bank land" - Toronto Star

 "Although it's legal, assisted dying must still involve ethical consideration" - Globe and Mail

 "Freeland must champion national child-care plan" - Toronto Star

 "We must act on gun violence" - Toronto Star

 "Canada must encourage business to break its low-innovative streak" - Globe and Mail

 "Canada must not be a vassal state" - Toronto Star

 "Tories must figure out what they stand for" - Toronto Star

 They Do
They're Just Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Back...

"We must hope smart people have Ford's back" - Toronto Star

 Especially Not The White Ones Who Kill Blacks
Wouldn't You Love To Belong To A Union That Strong?

"Police may need reform, but they can never be replaced" - Toronto Sun

Umm, You Do Know Who You're Talking About, Don't You?

"Trump getting COVID-19 will make it harder to deny science" - Toronto Star

What Kind Of A Revolution Cannot Promise A Higher Rate Of Return Than Other Commo - Ooohhhhhhhh

"Green revolution is coming, but may be less bankable for investors than advertised" - Globe and Mail

Suburbs Can Only Muster A Sickly Grin

"Midtown area has high positivity rate" - Toronto Star