Are You Questioning the Integrity of Headlines?
Umm, Okay, Then - I Just Wanted To Be Sure

Pay More Attention To How Well You Were Skating?

"How could I not fall for her while on ice?" - Toronto Star

Hadn't We Stopped Those Pointless Comparisons Decades Ago?

"NYC shut its schools. How long can Toronto hold out?" - Toronto Star

 Are you Kidding? He Was The Mike Myers Of Political Mischie - LOOK BEHIND YOU! RUN! QUICKLY! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RU -
Eww! I Think I'm Gonna Lose My Lunch...And I Haven't Eaten Anything Today!

"Just How Dangerous Was Donald Trump?" - New York Times

 It Depends On The Size Of His Pecs
And The Quality Of The...Kissing

"Should you delete photos of your ex?" - Toronto Star

It Will After The Inauguration

"Killing spree at an end?" - Toronto Sun

It Seems Unlikely, Although It Would Explain Why They Never Seem To Run Out Of Animal Crackers...

"Is Scrooge McDuck operating Loblaw supermarkets?" - Toronto Star

In A Trumpian Sense

"Have bank stocks turned a corner?" - Toronto Star

It Depends Upon If You're Asking About Height, Weight, Income Or Memory

"How much will we lose in order to grow?" - Toronto Star

Don't Confuse Him With Anything More Than Yes

"What's the plan, minister?" - Toronto Star

Pit The Right Social Groups Against Each Other

"What's the trick to making a successful stew?" - Globe and Mail

There Are None So Blinded By Love Than Those Who Refuse To See

"Let there be light
Dyson's intelligent task light claims to stimulate optimal daylight and reduce eye strain, but will it strain relationships?" - Toronto Star

In The Back Of The Women's Section Of The Newspaper Where It Belongs

"Where is the mental-health help for ordinary people?" - Toronto Star

Dollars Per Followers

"How should we tax social media influencers?" - Toronto Star

Every Politician Is Concerned About Employment - Their Own

"Why let developers do what they want to the environment?" - Toronto Star

How Much Does The Country Have?

"For Freeland, how much is too much?" - Toronto Star

 You Want To Be FDR
You'll Settle For Jimmy Carter
You'll Get George W. Bush

"Who Will We Be Without Donald?" - New York Times

What? Is He Fifteen Years Old?

"Examining the enigmatic Dr. David Williams
Praised by Doug Ford, vilified by critics, is top medical health officer simply misunderstood?" - Toronto Star

Doing Their Best To Stay Out Of The Crosshairs

"Where are our own leaders on gun control?" - Toronto Star

 Of Course They Ca - No? What Do You Mean, No, They Can't?
Next Thing You'll Be Telling Me Is That They Can't Be Sterilized!

"Can workers be forced to take the vaccine?" - Toronto Star

It Depends - Is The Goal To Make 2021 Worse?

"Katharine had a rough 2020. Would a bad boy help?" - Toronto Star

Nope

"Is the latest market boom grounded in logic or hope?" - Globe and Mail

 Books?
Or Am I Reading Too Much Into The Question?

"What should you buy a voracious reader?" - Toronto Star

 Nothing - As Long As That Someone Else Is God
Anybody Else And Hoo Boy!

"What's wrong with divorce if you love someone else?" - Toronto Star

Customer Loyalty Goes Both Ways

"Why didn't banks prevent alleged $11M fraud?" - Toronto Star

Sure - If The Goal Is To Add To The GNP

"Do 'self-cleaning' elevator buttons work?" - Toronto Star

It Costs Less Political Capital Than Looking Progressive And Having To Walk It Back Later

"Ford got smart on virus, so why not on climate?" - Toronto Star

Omerta - Not Just For Criminal Gangs Any More!

"Kenney vs. Hinshaw: What the leaked recordings reveal
Secretly taped conversations suggest tension over handling of pandemic - but does that justify breaking the civil service's code?" - Globe and Mail

Absolutely! There Are Plenty Of Other Ways To Get High!

"Should you avoid licking holiday card envelopes?" - Toronto Star

Before I Answer That, Maybe You Should, You Know, Get Out More?

"Do I pick the aimless guy, the sex freak or nobody?" - Toronto Star

Yes, If You're Asking If I'm Liable To Get It Myself

"Are you liable if someone catches COVID at your party?" - Toronto Star

Baby In The Baby Carriage?

"Lockdown. Vaccine. What will come next?" - Toronto Star

Sure. Which Bottle On The Bar Does It Come Out Of?

"My wish for 2021: How about a little more compassion?" - Toronto Star

Weren't We Generous Enough In Sharing The Disease With Them?

"We have a vaccine; what about everybody else?" - Toronto Star