Headlines Are Sure They Will Recover From 2020 Any Minute Now...
Aaaaaaaaannnnny Minute Now...
Aaaaaaannnny Minute...

"We're Going To Deal With The Pandemic Our Way!"
"Okay, Then, You Can Do It With Your Own Resources."
"Oh, Now You're Just Being A Jerk!"

"Ford warns Trudeau not to use emergency powers to fight virus" - Toronto Star

 "'This is Ontario's lose-lose approach to the pandemic" - Toronto Star

Now, They Can Be Pregnant And Barefoot In The Kitchen OR The Dining Room

"Catholic women's roles expanded" - Toronto Star

Business Would Rather Kill Employees (They're Easy Enough To Replace)

"Premier told closing factories kills jobs" - Toronto Star

Your Doctor Is Not Essential, My Hairdresser Is Essential

"Clarity sought on essential vs. non-essential" - Toronto Star

George Lucas Sheds A Tear Of Pride

"Alghabra, you're our only hope, airlines say" - Toronto Star

 The Cure Has Worked? Fantastic!
I...Hadn't Heard About The Pandemic Ending...
Nobody On The News Seems To be Talking About The Pandemic Ending...
Are You Sure About This?

"It's time to talk about the end of lockdowns" - Globe and Mail

It's Not Like It's Making Threatening Phone Calls From Your Basement Or Anything...

"There is no reason to fear a car-free Yonge Street" - Toronto Star

Neither Is The Pusher On The Street Corner, Yet We Have Serious Rules For Him

"Big Pharma is not a charity" - Toronto Star

You Mean, Open Pandemic Season?

"'It's now open season on these companies'" - Toronto Star

 "'We should be coming down on (businesses) like a ton of bricks'
Ontario must take more action on workplace outbreaks, experts urge" - Toronto Star

Which Explains Their Voices

"Russia Is Rising as a Global Helium Supplier" - New York Times

Think Of The 30% As A "Health Discount"

"Only 70% of big-box shops in Ontario found to be following rules" - Toronto Star

Facts Seem To Agree With Them

"Critics say LTC owners' profits come at expense of resident's quality of care" - Toronto Star

Could They Have Been GameStopped?

"BlackBerry stock surge confuses company" - Toronto Star

Bay Street Is Listening: Financial Companies Will Immediately Stop Supporting Diversity

"Bay Street supports diversity in theory, but not in practice. Time to end the hypocrisy" - Globe and Mail

Travel Restrictions Might Work Better Than Huge Vises

"Time to clamp down on international airports" - Toronto Star

It's Like Candy Crush, Except Nobody Wins

"COVID crush forces transfers to other regions for critical care" - Toronto Star

If The Province Had Any Good Faith Toward The City, It Would Never Have Allowed The Demolition To Begin In The First Place

"Demolition paused as 'good faith measure'" - Toronto Star

 Diversify Your Economy, I Told Them!
Don't Rely So Much On Fossil Fuels, I Told Them!
But, Did They Listen?

"Keystone XL cancellation a 'gut punch,' says Kenney
Alberta Premier calls on Trudeau to advocate more strongly for energy industry" - Toronto Star

How Does Next Thursday At Nine AM Work For You?

"This is a bad time for attack politics" - Toronto Star

Bullish Is A Little Confused And Short A Letter

"A bullish 2021? Investors shouldn't ignore the case for caution" - Globe and Mail

Boa Constrictor Economics

"Middle class is getting 'squeezed out'" - Toronto Star

They Must Have Walked

"Data says city's staying home
Traffic volume at lowest since reopening after lockdown last spring" - Toronto Star

 "More than 110 charged for violating lockdown" - Toronto Star

It's Like Traditional Stock Manipulation, Then

"Canada is watching Reddit-driven rallies
Stock manipulation via social media may be hard to prove, experts warn" - Toronto Star

 We Prefer Tuna
Salmon Would Work In A Pinch

"Coming to T.O. Don't bring skates" - Toronto Star

You Could Say They're A Dead Certainty

"Changes to funeral industry here to stay" - Toronto Star

 You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers
(We Didn't Say They Were Connected – You Need Us To Do ALL The Work For You‽)

"Do all gyms have to be locked down?" - Toronto Star

 "Respectfully, it's time protesters fold up tents" - Toronto Star

 "Do the bugs in our gut weigh us down?" - Toronto Star

 "Outlook: Many investors will want to continue partying like it's 1999, but the wise ones will put some coffee on. It's time to sober up" - Globe and Mail

 "Should you 'hunker down' or scramble home?" - Toronto Star

 "Universities jacking tuition by up to 15 per cent
Students wondering why since most classes are moving online" - Toronto Star

 "Can drinking collagen slow down aging?
Who doesn't want to be smarter, better, stronger, faster and younger looking?" - Toronto Star

 "Labour shortage? Employers need to step up
There are plenty of workers, businesses just need to offer better incentives to attract them" - Toronto Star

 "Is time slowing down or speeding up?" - Toronto Star

 "Indonesia waters down ore export ban
Companies with plans to process minerals domestically would be allowed to continue exporting raw materials" - Globe and Mail

 "How do shampoo bars stack up to liquid hair care products?" - Globe and Mail

 "It's time to start 'putting the hammer down,' Ford tells province
Ontario hits pause on easing COVID-19 restrictions amid rising number of new infections" - Toronto Star

Maybe, But The Least The Government Could Do Is Work Harder To Scrub The Nasty Graffiti Off Of It

"Governor general post is here to stay" - Toronto Star

Don't Get Too Excited: It's Only A Matter Of Time Before Tired-and-brute Commerce Reasserts Itself

"GM move shows climate concerns are disrupting tried-and-true commerce" - Globe and Mail

To Do So Can Be Socially Expensive

"Why some men don't freely express their emotions" - Toronto Star

Damn Straight! Biden Was Going To Approve The Pipeline Until He Saw What A Lovesick Puppy Trudeau Was!

"More hard work, less 'bromance," Tories urge
Federal Conservatives blame PM for Biden's 'devastating' decision" - Toronto Star

I'm Going To Lie Down Until The Stock Market Goes Away...

"Financial principles to get you through '21" - Toronto Star

 "Financial security is all in your head" - Toronto Star