Oh, Headlines! * SIGH *

Ath?

"Young athletes need to be able to do what they do" - Toronto Star

The Spaghetti-at-the-wall Fallacy Is At The Root Of Politicians' Willingness To Frequently Change Their Pandemic Strategy – Even When They Know What Works

"IN TOO DEEP
Adherence to the sunk-costs fallacy is at the root of politicians' apprehension over changing their pandemic strategy – even when it isn't working" - Globe and Mail

But, I'm Not Even Seeing Anybody!

"Voters must be engaged for democracy to work" - Toronto Star

Who Gave This Provincial Government Its Permit?

"Ontario's hitting the gas when we should be applying the brakes" - Toronto Star

Donald Trump Really Lowered The Bar On Winning, Didn't He?

"Harsh Prison Life Awaits Navalny" - New York Times

 "Aleksei Navalny Is Winning" - New York Times

Aargh! So. Much. Corporate Jargon! Make It Stop! MAKE IT STOP!

"Torstar announces media innovation head
Ad industry veteran to develop new media solutions for advertisers" - Toronto Star

 They Didn't Listen The Last 32 Times, But This Time Will Be Different
We're Sure It Will
Sure, It Will

"Corporate World Told That Green Is Essential" - New York Times

 It Is The Middle Ground Between Light And Shadow, Between Science And Superstition
It Lies Between The Pit Of Man's Fears And The Summit Of His Knowledge
It Is...Very Familiar Territory To Science Fiction Fans

"Conservatism has entered unfamiliar territory" - Toronto Star

 There Are Lessons There For Donald Trump
Fortunately (For Him), He Was Never Good At School

"Downfall of Myanmar's Cult of Personality" - New York Times

He Really Knows How To Put The Tool Back In His Name

"O'Toole rejects national standards for LTCs" - Toronto Star

I'll Believe It As Soon As The Feeling Returns To My Fingers

"Believe it nor not, it's been a 'warmer than normal' winter" - Toronto Star

Too Bad "Too Small To Fail" Isn't A Thing

"Drop in Bankruptcies May Lead to Problems" - New York Times

Teach Him How To Turn Off His Zoom Cat Filter

"How to deal with bad boss during quarantine" - Toronto Star

Don't Tell Your Boss His Zoom Cat Filter Is On

"I'm in need of some fun in these miserable times" - Toronto Star

Citizens Prefer Mixed Drinks

"East Asian Countries Moving Slow on Shots" - New York Times

But, We Were Doing So Well Investing In Mediocrity!

"Invest in talent for economic recovery" - Toronto Star

 I Keep Mine In A Safe Deposit Box In My Bank
If It Survives The Next Market Crash, It Could Survive A Nuclear War!

"Brains are more vulnerable than ever" - Toronto Star

Exuberance Is In The Eye Of The Stockholder

"Crash or no crash, stock markets are too exuberant for comfort" - Globe and Mail

 "P.E.I. lozenge plant cuts 30 jobs" - Toronto Star

 "Bell Media lowers axe on hundreds of positions
More than 200 jobs in Toronto alone reported lost, including at Newstalk 1010 and beyond" - Toronto Star

 "Hudson's Bay laying off more than 600 workers in Canada" - Toronto Star

 "TC Energy to cut 1,000 Keystone XL jobs
Company had warned thousands would lose work after cancellation" - Toronto Star

 "Air Canada cuts 1,500 jobs, suspends 17 routes" - Toronto Star

 "Bombardier to lay off 1,600 employees
CEO expects 2021 to be a transition year as firm reports loss of $337M" - Toronto Star

 "Instacart to lay off 1,877 U.S. employees
Company is making move as part of shift to new business models" - Toronto Star

 "Air Canada slashes capacity, 1,900 jobs" - Toronto Star

 "3M cuts 2,900 jobs as markets dip" - Toronto Star

The Caped Crusader Would Live To Regret Starting A Franchise

"Seeking Covid Clues in a Thai Bat Cave" - New York Times

Went Outside Without An Umbrella

"Man killed in baby shower explosion" - Toronto Star

Everybody Agrees That The Meat Pinata Was Not A Good Idea

"Family will forgive beef over bridal shower, in time" - Toronto Star

It Just Takes A Million Amateurs To Ruin It For The Rest Of Us!

"As novices flood market, the pros are watching" - Globe and Mail

Will Allow Mom To Deploy Dinner More Efficiently, And Coordination Of Bedtime Preparation Operations Expected To Flow Much More Smoothly

"Amazon plans new touchscreen wall-mounted Echo
Device would serve as home's command centre" - Toronto Star

The Province Is Being Menaced By A Shadow Villain?

"The lurking peril that could puncture Alberta's tax revenue for years to come" - Globe and Mail

Given The Quality Of Play, Every Year's Should Be

"This year's Super Bowl should be a subdued spectacle" - Toronto Star

Certainly Not If The Polish Judges Are Only Willing To Give It A 3.4!

"We can't ignore genocide during the Olympics" - Globe and Mail

 The Pandemic Is Over! The Pandemic Is Over! At Long Last, The Pandemic Is Over!





What?

"Several provinces relaxing lockdown measures" - Toronto Star

I Find That The Best Way To Avoid The Wealth Tax Is To Avoid Being Wealthy

"Wealth tax difficulty: avoidance strategies mean little revenue" - Globe and Mail

Is This Not The Most Canadian Headline Ever?

"Questions remain over efficacy of proposed framework" - Toronto Star

Why Don't You?

"I love my wife, but she won't wear stockings during sex" - Toronto Star

It Was A Rabbit Punch To The Throat Of Corporate Complacency

"'For Better or For Worse' more than just a simple strip" - Toronto Star

Consensual Reality Is For Your Grandma's Pension Fund

"Alternative data is the new real-time edge" - Globe and Mail

Unfortunately For Them, The .Org Domain Name Is Already Taken

"Strong desire among Republicans to move on" - Toronto Star