Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Hate Bedhead
Headlines Hate Bedhead
Hopefully, It Won't Be High Impact, Resulting In Permanent Brain Damage
"PM on collision course over doctor-assisted death"
- Toronto Star
Oh, If Only I Had A Balk For Every Time Spellcheck Messed Up A Headline!
Or, Even The Bulk Of Times!
"Toronto, Peel buck at lifting of restrictions"
- Toronto Star
The Pandemic Pretty Much Killed Its Business Anyway
"Cineplex not scared of streaming services"
- Toronto Star
The Leaders Of Canada's Three Main Parties Could Be A Law Firm: Yutz, Putz and Schmendrick
"The ethics of Trudeau: He can be a real putz"
- Toronto Star
We Just Spent The Last Four Years Watching A Leader Who Makes Bold, Difficult Decisions - Do You Think You Could Rethink That Idea A Little, Bill?
"Seven steps to save the planet
Government policies can play a leading role in addressing climate change, Bill Gates writes. It's time for leaders around the world to make bold, difficult decisions"
- Globe and Mail
They Could Definitely Use Some Political Senokot
"The GOP is a party in need of a purge"
- Toronto Star
More Contracts Are Confused For Toilet Paper There Than In Boardrooms
"This portable toilet is no place to do business"
- Toronto Star
Elephants Never Ask For The Return Of Defective Products
"Ikea recalls more furniture on safety risk
Retailer pulls 3-drawer Kullen chest because of tip-over risk to children"
- Toronto Star
"Bonduelle salads recalled for E. coli"
- Toronto Star
"MORE MEAT PRODUCTS RECALLED OWING TO POSSIBLE E. COLI CONTAMINATION FROM TORONTO PLANTS"
- Globe and Mail
"PM to recall Parliament to approve subsidy plan"
- Toronto Star
"Fiat Chrysler recalls nearly 700,000 SUVs because of electrical fault"
- Globe and Mail
"Pause and recall the flashes of goodness"
- Toronto Star
"Defective face masks recalled from Toronto long-term-care homes"
- Toronto Star
"Time for a virtual recall"
- Toronto Star
I Know The Pandemic Has Left A Lot Of People Yearning For Affection, But...
"Right now, even coffee filters can look like an expression of love"
- Toronto Star
If The Cardboard Is More Comfortable Than The Contents, You May Want To Rethink Your Sitting Habits
"Sofa-in-a-box a new trend driven by millennials"
- Toronto Star
Some Steps Are Bigger Than Others - Almost Like Democracy Has A +2,000 Pair Of Boots Of Striding That It Often Forgets To Put On Before Venturing Forth
"Democracy often takes two steps forward, one back"
- Toronto Star
"To boost democracy abroad, we must practise it at home"
- Toronto Star
Apocalypse Is Running Late, Will Be Here In An Hour
"Serenity now"
- Toronto Star
Makes A Change From Being Rich In Spirit
Although It May Have The Same Practical Effect
"Country Mired in Poverty May Be Oil Rich"
- New York Times
Wow - My ESP So Did Not Pick That Up!
"I'm thinking about liposuction"
- Toronto Star
But, Weren't Vaccinations Supposed To Make It Easier For People To Be Together?
"Relationship with fiance needs healing after jabs"
- Toronto Star
Traditional Podium Needs More Social Media Access
"Canada can own podium in innovation"
- Toronto Star
So's Christma - Oh, Gord, We Aren't Going To Have To Wait Until Then, Are We?
"Vaccination details coming, Elliott says"
- Toronto Star
They're Worse Than Cockroaches
"Decade After Uprising, Autocrats Still Rule"
- New York Times
Teen Titans Learned That Lesson The Hard Way
"Tech titans' arrogance led to defeat"
- Toronto Star
There's Definitely Something Fishy Going On Here
"Bitter feud divides formerly very close Scottish leaders
Salmond was once Sturgeon's mentor, now he's an enemy in a fight over the handling of sexual-assault charges"
- Globe and Mail
Murdering Somebody For The Inheritance And Eating The Last Piece Of Pie Without Asking If Anybody Else Wants To Share It Are Pretty Bad, Too
"Queue-jumping is the worst kind of selfishness"
- Toronto Star
Sommel
"Trading corkscrews for Zoom
Without a conventional restaurant and tables of guests to serve and define them, what is a sommelier to do?"
- Globe and Mail
Not Revolution?
"Lower income, longer life expectancy means preparation is key"
- Toronto Star
But...Smelling Clean Laundry Is Such A Sensual Act - Are You Trying To Tell Me That TV Commercials Lie‽
"Another victim of COVID-19: Sex between couples
The forced domesticity of lockdown may not be conducive to intimacy, but relationship experts advise partners to set aside some time to connect"
- Globe and Mail
It Didn't Work For Jeans, Why Would Anybody Think It Would Work For Justice?
"One-size-fits-all sentencing doesn't work"
- Toronto Star
Company Apparently Tired Of Rolling Craps On Journalism
"Torstar plans to launch casino brand"
- Toronto Star
But, They Don't Have As Much To Lose As The Rich And Powerful!
"Groups at higher risk should be prioritized"
- Toronto Star
Some Carpenters Are Better Than Others
"Ontario urged to build relief programs into pandemic framework"
- Toronto Star
"Comparisons To Foreign Countries Are For Losers," Former American President Says
"France's Sarkozy sentenced to jail
Former president guilty of corruption and influence peddling"
- Toronto Star
I Don't Know About Other People, But Mine Is Being Torn Out
Admittedly, Most Of It By Me...
"Pandemic is making your hair fall out"
- Toronto Star
