Headlines Threw Caution to the Wind
The Wind Threw Caution Back in Headlines' Typeface

Curing That Would Take A Revolution In Vaccines...

"Too many levels of government are too allergic to common sense" - Toronto Star

One Sincere, Deep-throated Ewww Should Cover It

"Accident in bathroom should be acknowledged" - Toronto Star

Ignorance Accepts The Challenge

"Journalism is a force for democracy in the world" - Globe and Mail

 It...It Killed Her Dog
And She Really Loved That Dog

"For Freeland, this budget is deeply personal" - Toronto Star

How Do You Conduct A Boss Battle When You're The Boss?

"Amazon taking its grocery game to the next level" - Toronto Star

Memo To Editorial Board: That's Why We're Spending It On Things That Benefit You

"Memo to Freeland - it's our money" - Toronto Sun

Can We Hate False Dichotomies?

"Let's not hate Toronto - let's fix it" - Toronto Star

We Knew It Was Reshaping The World, But We Would Never Have Imagined...!

"Virus Pushes China closer to Paraguay" - New York Times

I Say: Start Now And Avoid The Rush

"Ford's incompetence will be judged at the ballot box" - Toronto Star

That Doesn't Usually Start Until The Child Is Six Months Old (And It Doesn't Just Happen To Mothers...)

"Enough with the pink and patronizing
Don't talk to pregnant people like they've lost the capacity for adult conversation" - Toronto Star

Shouldn't That Be The Writing On The Well?

"Oil companies have seen the writing on the wall" - Toronto Star

Eco-friendly Headline Made From 100% Recycled History

"Violence erupts as tensions rise between Israelis, Palestinians" - Globe and Mail

Would They Be Strong Enough If They Were Backed Up By Blogs?

"Hashtags alone won't be enough to eradicate hate" - Toronto Star

 Are We Ourselves When We're Trying To Impress Others?
Nietzsche Might Have Had Something To Say About That, But He Was Too Busy Tying His Cummerbund

"THE PLIGHT OF FANCY
Fashion is rightly no longer a top concern for most, but we should still dress to impress when possible, in preparation for when we can be ourselves again" - Globe and Mail

Don't Be Ridiculous! I Never Obscurantist Grog Puddle!

"If you have to insist you're being clear, you probably aren't" - Toronto Star

Would Like To Do It More If It Didn't Involve So Many Numbers

"Ford's Tories aren't big fans of budget" - Toronto Star

Fake News! Everybody Knows Netflix Won The War!

"Taliban Believe They Won the War" - New York Times

I'm Sure His Parents Are Happy To Hear It

"Ford may be incompetent, but he is not illegitimate" - Toronto Star

Unfortunately, Doug Henning Was No Longer Here To Guide Us

"Beating the virus while staying open was magical thinking" - Toronto Star

I'd Love To Help, But Any More Than One Day Would Conflict With National Blintz Month, And Nothing Comes Between Me And The Cheesy Goodness!

"Earth needs more than one day of attention" - Toronto Star

They Would Be Out Of Work If It Wasn't?

"Why U.S. Spies Say the Future Is Bleak" - New York Times

But He Insists He Won't Resign!

"It's time for Ford to act" - Toronto Star

The Next Time Anybody Talks About "Rational [Insert Academic Specialty Here] Man," Keep These Headlines In Mind

"The surprising - and contentious - case for hanging on to bonds
Despite dismal yields, one expert says the universal aversion to having bonds is an investor overreaction" - Globe and Mail

 "Despite the data, an optimism for humanity" - Toronto Star

 "Global funds opt for fewer stocks despite record rallies, poll finds" - Globe and Mail

 "Condo prices, construction rise despite drop in sales" - Toronto Star

 "B.C. looks to be barrelling toward an election despite the pandemic" - Globe and Mail

 "An economic bloom despite the pandemic" - Globe and Mail

 "Postmedia reports profit boost despite 21 per cent revenue dip" - Toronto Star

 "Normality In Taiwan, Despite Pandemic" - New York Times

 Does That Mean They Would Start At The 19th Hole?
Most Golfers Would Never Tee Off If They Started At the 19th...Ohhhhhhh...

"Golfers urged Ontario to reverse course" - Toronto Star

Threats Of Imminent Unemployment And A Pledge To Ruin The Lives Of All Those Who Did May Also Have Been A Factor

"Why Amazon workers in Alabama voted against a union
Strong health benefits, job stability, pledge to improve condition were keys in corporate pitch that won overwhelming support" - Globe and Mail

Great! We've Found Ground Zero For The Zombie Apocalypse

"Storied cemetery's big secret: lots of weird mushrooms
Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn a gold mine for fungi fanatics" - Toronto Star

Too Bad His Party's Isn't

"O'Toole's climate plan is serious and credible" - Toronto Star

Trump Sighs And Mutters, "If Only It Were That Easy..."

"SOMALIA
President refuses to leave his post" - Toronto Star

Klingons Don't - Q'apla!

"When health messages sound like Klingon, people tune out" - Globe and Mail

Proud Boys Hold Up Their Hands And Insist, "It Wasn't Us, This Time. Honest!"

"Canada wary of travel from India
Surge in country's cases sparks calls for Ottawa to limit incoming flights" - Toronto Star

So, All That We Need To Beat COVID Is Familial Estrangement?

"William, Harry will keep physical distance at funeral" - Toronto Star

Shrinking To Recovery Wasn't Working

"Liberals seek to grow Canada's way to recovery" - Toronto Star