Headlines Were Not Happy Being Part of The Cultural Wasteland,
But It Was The Only Territory Available To Them

Goldilocks Would Have Made A Terrible Labour Lawyer

"Surprise minimum wage increase lands with a thud
Businesses say Jan. 1 is too soon; labour advocates say it's too late" - Toronto Star

Should I Ignore The Hate Of Those Who Continue Watching, Too?

"Hate their jokes? Just stop watching" - Toronto Star

Maybe, But If It Doesn't Star Paul Giammati, It's Not Binge-worthy

"The Rogers family drama is on-brand" - Toronto Star

Because Some Wrists Just Need To Be Slapped

"Anand vows action on military misconduct" - Toronto Star

Really? My Spreading Gut Thanks To Eating All The Halloween Candy Nobody Came To The Door To Collect Would Disagree With You

"Spooky season roars back to life across GTA" - Toronto Star

Sure It Is! The Problem Is That It Is Competing With 127 Other Priorities

"Families of Americans held abroad want action from Biden
Relatives concerned that hostages' release isn't a priority for White House" - Toronto Star

 Just As Well He Doesn't Like Bridge
...That Was What You Were Talking About...Wasn't It?

"Cheating boyfriend might not be good partner" - Toronto Star

Because You Never Know When You'll Encounter An American Who Is Rabid

"Flying to the U.S.? Get your shots" - Toronto Star

Sex Requires A Certain Amount Of Exertion To Succeed

"Why 'just relax' is bad advice for couples trying for a child" - Toronto Star

Fitting, Then, That He Pulled His Rant Out Of His Ass

"Trash-talking pal butt-dialed the wrong person" - Toronto Sun

Oddly Enough, That's Just What The COVID Virus Wants, As Well

"Montrealers want dance floors open
Protesters stage party in the streets Saturday urging government to act" - Toronto Star

Thinking About Baseball Statistics Is An Alternative With Fewer Side Effects

"Increasing generic drug use is an anti-inflation tactic" - Toronto Star

"But Politics Is What Got Us Here In The First Place," Leaders Tell Queen

"'Rise above politics,' Queen tells leaders" - Toronto Star

Their Leaders In The Energy Sector Need A Good Laugh

"Let leaders hear our demands for climate action" - Toronto Star

You Don't Want Them To Give You A Bad Review On Airb&b

"Be ready for surprise raccoons living in your attic" - Toronto Star

Do The Right Thing? Have You Met Us?

"COVID surge can be handled - if we do the right thing" - Toronto Star

Mixing Disparate Elements Can Lead To Tasty "Fusion" Cuisine, Or Bitter "Confusion" Dish

"Calling election during the pandemic a recipe for disaster" - Toronto Star

You Haven't Been Paying Attention To Partisans, Have You?

"Climate change is not a partisan issue" - Toronto Star

They Once Said That About Mel Gibson, Too, But Then He Wore Panty Hose...

"Ford's not the man to give women what they need" - Toronto Star

Have People In The News Always Been So Needy?

"Canada needs to implement a Trade Secrets Act" - Toronto Star

 "What you need to know if you travel" - Toronto Star

 "Government, optometrists need to focus on our health" - Toronto Star

 "Sustainability sector needs diverse leaders" - Toronto Star

 "We need high standards in health care" - Toronto Star

 "We need a speedier change to sustainable investing" - Toronto Star

 "Government needs to act" - Toronto Star

 But Building Smaller Will Only Work If We Breed Smaller People
Now Who's Being Absurd?

"Tearing down buildings to rebuild bigger is absurd" - Toronto Star

Just The Tough Luck Of Employees In The Service Industry That They Don't Get What They Work For

"With wages, you get what you pay for" - Toronto Star

Victims Of Police Brutality Just Dead

"'Defund police!' dead on arrival for politicians" - Toronto Star

 It's A Matter Of Personal Freedom
Patients Are Free To Risk Getting COVID When They Have To Go To The Hospital Or Stay Home and Risk Suffering From Their Underlying Condition

"Province won't force vaccines on hospital workers, Ford says" - Toronto Star

We Argued That Microchips Should Not Be Embedded In The Protective Wear, But Did Anybody Listen?

"Coca-Cola to take full control of BodyArmor" - Toronto Star

Billionaires Won't Be Satisfied Until They Have A Negative Annual Tax Bill

"The simple case for a flat tax system" - Toronto Star

 Derisive Laughter. Derisive Laughter Would Be Good
Indifference Would Work, Too

"How Canada should respond to Alberta's equalization vote" - Toronto Star

Only 2.5%? In This Economy, Those Returns Are Enough To Drive You To Drink!

"Revenue at Molson Coors jumps 2.5%" - Toronto Star

Catching A Big, Brown Turd

"Chasing a Big, Green Dream" - New York Times

 It's A Pagan Ritual, And You And Your Children Will Face Eternal Damnation For Participating
Hope The Candy Was Worth It

"What to know before trick-or-treating" - Toronto Star

 Then, Why Continue To Vote For Those Who Don't?
Headlines Can Be So Confusing!

"Ontario deserves leaders who care for the elderly" - Toronto Star

Wealthy Parents

"Your secret weapon against financial hardship" - Toronto Star