Headlines Have Forgotten More Answers Than You Have Questions, You Little Snots!

A Bell Jar The Size Of A City Block

"How to starve angry rallies of oxygen?" - Toronto Star

Doctor Godot

"What's Ottawa waiting for?" - Toronto Star

WARNING: The Chef Is Seven Years Old

"Chili crisp and spaghetti?
Chai spice in an apple pie?" - Toronto Star

 The Changes It's Going Through Are Perfectly Natural - The Process Is Known As Puberty
While It May Be Difficult, Money Will Not Only Survive, But, In Time, Be Better

"What Is Happening to Money?" - New York Times

Money Had A Hissy Fit

"Why are sports games being played before large crowds?" - Toronto Star

You Know What They Say: If You Have To Ask, You Can't Afford To Live Anywhere South Of Thunder Bay

"What income do I need to afford a home in Toronto?" - Toronto Star

She Thinks She Can, But Nobody Believes Her

"Can Cassandra fund a career swap?" - Toronto Star

 These Lanes Were Made For Walking
And That's Just What They'll Do
One Of These Days, These Lanes Are Gonna Walk All Over - Eww!

"Are these lanes for bikes or just storing pylons?" - Toronto Star

The One That Convinces The Moment To Meet Him Halfway

"Which leader will meet the moment?" - Toronto Star

It Depends: How Badly Did The Premier Damage The Mirror He Was Looking At His Political Future In?

"Seven years of gridlock ahead?" - Toronto Star

If It's Half As Good As The New Coke...Panic! Panic Long and Hard!

"A New Nuclear Arms Race?" - New York Times

 I Don't Care, As Long As I Can Finally Go
(You Have No Idea How Long I Have Been Searching For A Bathroom!)

"Should you go big, or go small?" - Toronto Star

Maybe; Unfortunately, Freeland Is Having None Of It

"Is 'free land' the answer to housing crisis?" - Toronto Star

 Oh, Wow - I'm Having A Flashback To Six Months Ago...
And A Year Ago...
And 18 Months Ago...

"Is it time to make vaccines law?" - Toronto Star

The Refs Have Been Paid To Look The Other Way

"Women play shinny, too. Why are we getting tripped up?" - Toronto Star

Attention Headline Writer, The Economy Needs Me To Need That

"Attention shoppers, do you need that?" - Toronto Star

Start With No Income...

"How can I minimize the taxes I have to pay?" - Toronto Star

Is This A "One Hand Clapping" Kind Of Headline?

"Are virtual doctors here to stay?" - Toronto Star

Whatever You Do, Don't Ask Groucho!

"Why was Bloor Viaduct sidewalk left coated by ice snow for days?" - Toronto Star

The Country Was Never Very Good At Responding When The Singer Called

"Lula Stages a Comeback. Will Brazil Join In?" - New York Times

If It Is, I Blame Liberals

"Is this the end of era of finger-pointing?" - Toronto Star

Twenty More Days Of Christmas

"What does 'Jesus Christ Superstar' mean to you?" - Toronto Star

Their Employer Must Really Suck If They're Even Contemplating Such A Thing!

"Can Lightning strike a third time?" - Toronto Star

I'm Too Young To Die Of A Pastry Overdose!

"Ready for the best savoury tart of your life?" - Toronto Star

 Only If We Develop An Equally Effective Anti-stupidity Drug
(I May Never Leave My House Again)

"Omicron Is Here. Will We Use Our New Covid Drugs Wisely?" - New York Times

 Using A Tennis Match To Resolve A Political Conflict?
How Original Star Trek Of Them!

"Should Ottawa fight Quebec in top court?" - Toronto Star

They Figure They Need A Career First?

"Why aren't Canadians using career services?" - Toronto Star

I'm Not Sure How Putting Your Ear In A Frame And Hanging It On A Wall Will Help, But I've Never Been What You Could Call Fashion Forward...

"Can I try the 'curated' ear look on my sagging earlobes?" - Toronto Star

If The People's Party Of Canada Gets Its Way

"Will Canada ban foreign travellers? - Toronto Star

 You Can't Tell The Difference Either?
You'd Think The Box Would Make It Obvious...

"Cabbage Patch doll or rapid test for Christmas?" - Toronto Star

You Know What They Say: If You Can Kill Them There, You Can Kill Them Anywhere

"New York City Is Expecting Omicron any Day Now. How Ready Is It?" - New York Times