Headlines Couldn't Wait For 2021 To Be Over
The Fact That They Felt The Same Way at the End of 2020 Means Nothing...

Desert Outhouse Prime Meeting Place For Terrorist Shits

"Israel strikes militant sites in Gaza strip" - Toronto Star

Vivre La France Brulante!

"Fewer cars set on fire this NYE" - Toronto Star

Too Bad We're Such Terrible Students

"History teaches us to expect the unexpected" - Toronto Star

Marvin Flabbytubbyuglyguts, Their Imaginary Friend, Couldn't Agree More

"Parents fear toll on kids' mental health" - Toronto Star

With So Much Going On In The World, Who Can Sleep?

"Ford made his bed. But don't rely on it" - Toronto Star

"At Least Now We Know Where THAT Rounding Error Is," Zuckerberg Comments

"France fines Google, Meta $287M" - Toronto Star

Mostly About Baseball, A Little About How We Might Not Have Fought If We Had Talked First

"We Fought in War. Then We Talked." - New York Times

Give Them Standing Desks

"Ensure our children aren't sitting ducks" - Toronto Star

Tell My Landlord!

"Money can't solve all our COVID challenges" - Toronto Star

If Only There Was Something They Could Take To Alleviate That Anxiety...

"Tilray eyes growth in saturated market
Cannabis producers have a glut of product they are anxious to move" - Toronto Star

The Building Is Such A Tease!

"Former brothel flaunts its charms
'Yellow Bordello' shines with skilled recreations, painstaking DIY and historic pieces" - Toronto Star

Not Starving Is One Of My Favourites

"We love to complain about jobs, but there are benefits" - Toronto Star

You Can Tell Those Of Us Who Are Still Living About It Via Ouija Board

"Death Can Offer A Guide To Life" - New York Times

Weeeeeelllll...The Streets Do Seem Safer...

"Let the elderly boycott Ford's for-profit homes!" - Toronto Star

Republicans Chant, "I Have A Dream! I Have A Dream!" In Hopes Of Drowning Them Out

"King family rallies for voting rights in Arizona" - Toronto Star

Tough! If It Was Good Enough For Kaiser Wilhelm, It's Good Enough For Me!

"The old rules of war won't help today" - Toronto Star

 It's Good To Know We Have Faith And Charity To Fall back Upon






This Time, We Really Are Screwed, Aren't We?

"Liberals hope for lasting power" - Toronto Star

 "Vaccines inject hope into world economy" - Toronto Star

 "Cool, classy. That's the Obama I'll miss
That wide-eyed, giddy feeling of hope in 2009 sure beats the feeling I have in the pit of my stomach right now" - Globe and Mail

 "Interesting images
Cops hope public help find killers" - Toronto Sun

 "Cancer
A new hope
Researchers have identified a cutting-edge weapon against one of the world's deadliest diseases: the body's own immune system" - Toronto Star

 "Vegas bets that gambling's back in business
Safety measures in place along with big hopes of recovery from calamity" - Toronto Star

Aren't Stock Brokers Canadians, Too?

"GDP says nothing about Canadians' well-being" - Toronto Star

Greek? I Barely Understand English!

"Prepare to learn more Greek, scientists say
Omicron's spread raises likelihood of more variants" - Toronto Star

I Would Have Taken The Plaid Pill, But It Wasn't Offered To Me...

"Darker Days Since 'The Matrix'" - New York Times

 You Should Probably Talk To The Adults Who Want It To Go On Forever
They Have A Lot To Learn

"'I want the pandemic to end'
Elementary, middle and high school students weigh in on Monday's return to the classroom" - Toronto Star

Despite The Fact That Powder Made From Their Horns Is Rumoured To Be A Powerful Aphrodisiac?

"Herd of tech unicorns continues to grow" - Toronto Star

Maybe Next Pandemic

"Truck industry, Canada need to prioritize safety" - Toronto Star

 "Only vaccinated can keep trucking along
As mandate comes into effect, industry groups fear supply chain issues due to driver shortages" - Toronto Star

Consequences? Por Moi?

"Demonstrate the courage of your anti-vax beliefs" - Toronto Star

They Scare The Crap Out Of People They Approach And They Shit On The Street What's Not To Love?

"Horses serve useful policing purposes" - Toronto Star

Effect Is Undermined By Country's Unfortunate Ability To Hit Itself In The Forehead With Its Own Spurs

"Canada playing cowboy on Ukraine" - Toronto Star

You'll Never Have To Worry About Taxes Again...

"Positives Follow Pandemic Struggles" - New York Times

Nothing Seems A Little...Off To You About This Story?

"Co-host Off is leaving 'As It Happens'" - Toronto Star

You Know, Like A Four Alarm Fire Might Need A Cup Of Water To Put Out

"Your investment portfolio may require a 'tweak'" - Toronto Star

I Hope The Bangles Are Getting Royalties For This Headline

"It's just another pandemic Monday" - Toronto Star

 I Would Suggest Training More Nurses, But Somebody Must Have Already Thought Of That
Somebody Must Have
Mustn't Somebody Have?

"How to solve Canada's nursing shortage" - Toronto Star

Slow Cook It

"How to avoid COVID burnout" - Toronto Star

On The Other Hand, Brutish Business Continues To Do Well

"Brexit Is Stifling British Business" - New York Times

We're Sure He Have No Idea What We're Confused About

"O'Toole's vaccine remarks has us shaking our heads" - Toronto Star