Headlines? I've Had a Few...

Because You Want It To Become An Old Adult

"Why should I vaccinate my young child?" - Toronto Star

It Thought It Was Investing In Burial Technologies

"Why did pension invest in crypto?" - Toronto Star

It's Tired Of Herding Them When They Get Loose Outside

"Why is council debating keeping cats inside?" - Toronto Star Sure
But Then We'll Need Somebody To Fight Disinformation In Advertising

"Can advertising fight disinformation in politics?" - Toronto Star

Why Not? The Right Was Worried It Was Running Out Of Culture Wars Issues To Run On

"'There's just no escape' from the heat
As temperatures soar, should air conditioning for tenants be a human rights issue? - Toronto Star

The Undecided? Forget Those Losers! Charest Didn't Even Convince Himself!

"Did Charest convince the undecided?" - Toronto Star

"If I Told You, Wouldn't You Know, Journalist?"

"Why so much secrecy, Premier?" - Toronto Star Sleeping In
Why? Is Something – Yaaaaaaawn! Streeeeeeeeetch! – Humph Mumph – Important Happening?

"Where Have Western Leaders Been? - New York Times

Your Diagnosis Is A Day Late And A Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Short

"Is Conservative party going nuts?" - Toronto Star

Maybe If Nurses Wore Bathing Suits That Showed Off Their Six Pack Abs...

"So lifeguards get a huge raise, but nurses don't?" - Toronto Star Whose Side Is The Government Ever On?
Think About It...
It'll Come To You...
Really, It's Pretty Obvious...
Oh, Come On! Are You Even Trying To Answer The Question?

"Just whose side is the government on in airport mess?" - Toronto Star

It's Only Better For Them Until The Cat Scratches Their Noses (Although The Canines Can Always Say It's A Duelling Scar)

"Can dogs eat cat food? Is it better for them?" - Toronto Star Riders Would Beg
Wait – What?

"What if rent payments were considered investments?" - Toronto Star

Stab It In The Ear With A Shrimp Fork!

"What can we do about misinformation?" - Toronto Star

That Or Theatres Should Hand Out Adult Diapers Like 3-D Glasses Before Every Screening

"Should lengthy blockbuster flicks have intermissions?" - Toronto Star Gone To Dreams Of Decently Paying Jobs Every One
When Will They Ever Learn?
When Will They Learn?

"Help wanted: Everywhere
After the pandemic pivots, where have Canadian workers gone?" - Toronto Star
What We Do Every Summer, Pinky:
Try And Take Over The World!

"Know what you're doing this summer?" - Toronto Star

Take The Bus

"How can I be better at sharing the road as a driver?" - Toronto Star

Considering How Badly The Wheels Have Come Off...

"Are airports headed for a hard landing?" - Toronto Star

Looking For Sweet Deals On Sweet Rides

"What are police doing in response to car thefts?" - Toronto Star

Sure – It's What They Do When They Get There That's The Problem

"Can't Blue Jays step up to the plate?" - Toronto Star

No Need: He And His Followers Already Ignore Those

"Does Baber want to end mandates for seatbelts too?" - Toronto Star

I've Always Thought Of It As More Of A Candy-coated Orangutan With Motherboard Issues

"Is Life a Story Or a Game?" - New York Times

Ottawa To Provinces: When Did You Ever Stop?

"Provinces to Ottawa: Can we talk?" - Toronto Star

I Was Canoodling In The Canned Goods Aisle, So I Guess It's Fair

"Cheated at the checkout?" - Toronto Star

Make Three Right Turns And Hope For The Best

"What's the proper way to make a left turn on your bike?" - Toronto Star

Everybody Else On The Block Wants One!

"Why on earth would anyone want one of these?" - Toronto Star Sure
All He Has To Do Is Remember That It's Like Quebec's, Only In English

"Can Charest harness Alberta's anger?" - Toronto Star

The Fish Bullies From The Head

"BULLYING, VANDALISM AND FRAUD
Why hasn't the province cracked down on 'outrageous' behaviour by GTA councillors?" - Toronto Star

Unnatural Markets?

"Why are natural gas bills on the rise in Canada?" - Toronto Star

I'd Get The Kleenex Ready Just To Be Prepared...

"U.S. is in a recession. What about Canada?" - Toronto Star

They Were On The Table Just An Hour Ago...

"Where is the transparency, accountability?" - Toronto Star

3,062 (Or Three If It's An Election Year)

"How many more deaths before railway barriers are common?" - Toronto Star

It Is If "How Will I Know It It's True Love?" Is The Question

"Is electricity truly the answer?" - Toronto Star