Sometimes, Quotes Wonder If Smartphones Aren't Already More Intelligent Than The People Who Use Them

No, But I Missed The Going Away Part

"Do you miss me yet?" - former President Donald Trump to an adoring crowd at CPAC

As Long As The Coronavirus Agrees To Stay Within Provincial Borders, The Country Should Be Fine

"There are different approaches to long-term care, to home care and front-line health care in each province, so Ottawa needs to allow the provinces to set their priorities." - Federal Conservative Leader Erin O'Toole

On The Other Hand, If The Insurrectionists Had Charged The Government Usurious Interest On Their Credit Card Debt, We Would Be Behind Them 79%!

"Last week's attempts by some congressional members to subvert the presidential election results and disrupt the peaceful transition of power do not align with our [values]." - American Express CEO Steve Squeri

I Have No Problem With Him Going; The Problem Is That At Some Point He Will Want To Come Back :-(

"If he's in Cancun, that means he's not using up valuable resources of energy, food and water that can now be used by someone else. This is probably the best thing he could do for the state right now." - Dinesh D'Souza on Senator Ted Cruz' Mexico jaunt while many of his Texas constituents froze when the state power grid collapsed

Or, We Could Accept That Control Is An Illusion And Party Our Faces Off!

"In times of abject terror and intense uncertainty, survival depends on regaining control and focusing energy on the present. Fear is a healthy emotion that lets us know we care about future outcomes, but it is also capable of causing emotional paralysis." - author Jill Heinreth

How Soon They Forget (Too Much Partying Their Faces Off?)

"Joe Biden has had the most disastrous first month of any president in modern history." - former President Donald Trump to an adoring crowd at CPAC

Oddly, The CDC Does Not Have Guidelines About How Spraying Blood Spreads COVID

"Combat sports are still not risk-free, and we need to be conscious that when we go out, we don't want to contaminate everyone." - Quebec Junior Education Minister Isabelle Charest on permitting the return of boxing and MMA

"How Can I Get More Of Them In My Conference?" He Dreamily Wondered

"Somebody who's suggested that perhaps no airplane hit the Pentagon on 9/11, that horrifying school shootings were pre-staged, and that the Clintons crashed JFK's airplane is not living in reality." - Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene

In Times Of Uncertainty, It's Good To Know That One Politician Is Consistent, Even If It Is In His Desire To Make Doug Ford Look Like Mother Teresa

"It's easy to pass laws that destroy people's livelihoods when you're on a government salary. My PMB will encourage MPPs to fully appreciate the consequences of their actions, when many Ontarians can't afford to put food on the table. Ontarians want to go back to work. They are tired of the crumbs offered by Doug Ford. The government must end the lockdown. That's the best thing to do for the health of Ontarians." - Roman Baber, who was kicked out of the Conservative caucus for being less compassionate than Ontario's Premier, on his Private Member's Bill to reduce politicians' salaries to CERB levels

And, You Can Trust Me, Because I Know Intemperate And Irresponsible!

"Those calling for impeachment or invoking the 25th Amendment in response to President Trump's rhetoric this week are themselves engaging in intemperate and inflammatory language and calling for action that is equally irresponsible and could well incite further violence." - Texas Representative Kevin Brady, who wrote this on Twitter, joined a friend-of-the-court brief in December that asked the Supreme Court to throw out the results in Pennsylvania and other key states that went for Joe Biden

Weeeeelllll...When Personal Gain Is Your Only Motivating Tool...

"I don't for a minute believe that this is a philosophical battle to democratize retail investing. It's just pure greed." - Stephen Takacsy, CEO of Lester Asset Management

Just Ask Mitt Romney
Or Liz Cheney
Or Any Of Those Other Losers

"I'm going to continue to fight right by your side. We're not starting new parties - we have the Republican Party. It's going to be strong and united like never before." - former President Donald Trump to an adoring crowd at CPAC

Mister Premier, It's Like Listening To The 1950s Listening To You

"Why don't you join us to support the people of Ontario for once, rather than just sit there and criticize and criticize? It's like listening to nails on a chalkboard, listening to you." - Ontario Premier Doug Ford making a cogent point to NDP Leader Andrea Horwath

Do The Gods Of The People Who Will Die Because You Infected Them Have Any Say In This?

"Let us choose for ourselves. And if it costs me my life? Great. Because if I die, and I know that I died obeying the Lord, it was worth it." - Montreal Pastor Stefano Gesualdi

"As Somebody Who Lives On The Outer Fringes Of The Division, I Would Applaud His Unification Efforts With A Closed Fist."

"Biden has a historic opportunity to unify America behind the sentiment that our political divisions have gone too far. But instead he decided to promote the left's efforts to use this terrible national tragedy to try and crush conservatives or anyone not anti-Trump enough." - Florida Senator Marco Rubio

But, How Else Are People Supposed To Kill Time Stuck At Home During The Pandemic?

"Hopefully, we're in a place where we won't do that again, where we won't lift up these celebrities - in particular women - and then proceed to rip them down." - Samantha Barry, Editor-in-Chief, Glamour

While I'm At It, I'll Win The Olympic Pentathlon For The Fourth Time And Walk On The Sun For The Sixteenth Time
Imagining Is Fun!

"As you know, they just lost the White House. I may even decide to beat them for a third time." - former President Donald Trump to an adoring crowd at CPAC

You Know The Green New Deal: It Hides Under Your Bed, Waiting For You To Go To Sleep; Then, It Will Pop Out And...Put Solar Panels On Your Roof!

"This shows how the Green New Deal would be a deadly deal for the United States of America. It just shows that fossil fuel is necessary for the state of Texas as well as other states to make sure we'll be able to heat our homes in the winter time and cool our homes in the summer time." - Texas Governor Greg Abbott explaining to Sean Hannity why the failure of the state's energy grid during extreme cold was not because its natural gas supply seized up, but because windmills, which supply less than 10 per cent of the state's energy, are a Communist plot