"When you sneeze, your breath travels fifteen times faster than a normal breath. So, when you sneeze in a mask, you're actually fifteen times more likely to catch COVID than if you don't wear a mask." "That makes no sense - you can't give yourself COVID." "Okay, then - you will intensify the virus and make it worse." "Nope. There's no medical basis for such an opinion." "That doesn't matter." "Why not?" "Everybody knows that COVID is a hoax." "Erm..."
"Let me ask you something: do you believe in 'my body, my choice?'" "I must, because I believe in a woman's right to choose to have an abortion. But, I can't, because I believe in the government's right to mandate vaccinations for everybody who can get them, overriding their right to choose. But, I believe in a woman's right to choose. But, I believe in vaccination mandates. A woman's right to choose! Vaccination mandates! Oww, my head - it feels like it's about to explode! Help me, Landru! Landru, help me!" "Are you...making fun of me?" "Ha ha ha ha ha." "Oh, yeah. You're making fun of me..."
"Actually, what happens is that when you are injected with the vaccine, it changes your RNA." "No, it doesn't." "We are being asked to be part of a monstrous experiment that will forever alter the human genetic code." "There is no medical basis for such an opinion." "Really? Don't you find it alarming that the vaccine was rushed into use without adequate testing?" "RNA therapies have been in development for years. And, the reason the vaccine got to the public so quickly is that governments around the world cut the red tape in the approval process, not because the testing itself took any shortcuts." "That doesn't matter." "Why not?" "Everybody knows that COVID is a hoax." "Ugh..."
"Can you take video of me at the protest?" "I was about to ask if you would take video of me a the protest." "Why don't we shoot each other?" "Great. Shoot video of me first." "No, me first." "No, me first." "Look: I'm from out of town - I want evidence to show my friends in the movement that I was here." "I'm a nihilist - I want evidence to show the world that I was alive before everything was burned to the ground." "Oh. Uh. Okay. Why don't I shoot you first, then Yeah. I'll shoot you first..."
"Let me ask you something: do you believe in 'my body, my choice?'" "Let me ask you something: do you agree that killing another person with a gun is morally wrong?" "Of course." "Then, why do you think that killing another person with a virus is a right?" "Because...because - that's not what's happening. Everybody knows that COVID is a hoax." "Lame!"
"Vaccination opponents are the new Jews!" "As one of the old Jews, I think I take offence at that." "No, man. No. You should support us. They've already set up the camps. They're just trying to figure out how to get us on the trains." "Oh, yeah. If I took you seriously, I would definitely be angry by now..." "You should take me seriously. What ever happened to 'Never again?'" "It's not happening now." "Yes, it is." "No, it isn't. Where is your proof?" "Are you one of those Holocaust deniers?" "Aaaand, my outrage just went to eleven. Congratulations."
"You've all got blood on your hands! We're going to come after you next!" "Yeah! When are you gonna stop parroting government propaganda and tell people the truth‽" "Yeah! Lamestream media!" "Okay, Jerry. Cut the camera." "Do we have enough footage?" "We aren't going to do a segment on the protest, so it doesn't matter." "What? You can't just cut us out of your coverage!" "Yeah! Our protests are news. You can't just walk away from an important news story!" "Yeah! Lamestream media!" "You should have thought of that before you threatened me." "Erm..." "Ugh..." "Lame!"
"This protest was attended by less than half the people of the last one." "Makes sense. A lot of the protesters have died of COVID since the last anti-vaccine protest." "Should I feel guilty that I find the irony of that darkly funny?" "If it's wrong, I don't want to be right..."