They Think They're Adorable
But They're Racist Or Sexist Or Otherwise Deplorable

They're Ambulatory Godwin's Law Violations

When you're thinking about what to wear in the morning, who in their right mind would put on blue and white striped shirts and pants with a prominent gold star? Nobody, of course. But people in their wrong mind?

For them, Holocaust chic is in this protest season.

The logic (which, in the basket of deplorables, makes pretzels look as straight as arrows) is that issuing vaccine passports is the first step to herding the unvaccinated into camps. You know, like the Germans did to Jews who refused to get vaccinated, except with better quality soap in the showers.

I don't know which is worse: that people who do this trivialize the Holocaust or that they trivialize COVID. But that's the great thing about living in the basket of deplorables: you can eat your poison and have it, too.

They Call Them The Base For A Reason

Can we just take it as given that whatever Donald Trump says is a horrible misrepresentation of reality? You don't get to be the Deplorable-in-Chief by engaging in rational discourse.




Honestly, do I have to point out that Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world, not helped by decades of American interference in its internal politics. That is where you want to identify a threat to the greatest country the world has ever known (in its own mind)? It's hardly worth the time to debunk.





I mean, anybody with half a brain could see that, after getting booed for suggesting his followers get vaccinated against COVID, former President Trump had to find a different disease to stir up their fear and resentment. But AIDS? Really? The disease that a Republican President ignored because he thought it was Gord's punishment on gay people for being the way He made them? What? The red death wasn't current enough for you, Donald? The plague a bit too obscure?

You know you've reached the bottom of the Basket when you're reading medical journals to find ways to troll your opponents!

Methuselah Mike Has The Best Sources Of Information!

Deplorables 101: The bigger the lie, the bigger the ass you have to pull it out of. By this rule, MyPillow CEO and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mike Lindell must have an ass the size of I'm not going to say what state. But even the smallest one would make for a rather large butt.

Precise numbers sound impressive, so when Lindell says there are 2,650 people, Basket dwellers tend to believe him. Who are they? People who live on the moon? People who turn into werearmadillos when the quarter moon comes out (as proven by videos on the internet)? People who have sex wearing oompah loompah costumes? It doesn't matter what he is claiming the people do; the fact that he has such a specific number is proof enough that they are doing it.

You might think this would make it odd that he would be vague about which state he was accusing of election improprieties. Gord bless your non-deplorable soul! If Mike had to choose a state, there would be all those elections officials citing all those facts and, big as it is, there is only so much room in his ass!

Only in the basket of deplorables are you given a choice between the red MyPillow and the blue MyPillow. Swallow carefully.

Make Sweatshops Great Again

So, you say you want to be a politician in the basket of deplorables? It's easy. Just empty your soul of any human values (self-respect, dignity, compassion) and fill the void with ambition.

Then, find a way to replace former Vice President Mike Pence.

That one day in January that he disparages? The "tourists" at the Capitol were chanting, "Hang Mike Pence. Hang Mike Pence." Really. It's on video. You would think that self-preservation might move him to choose his anti-Democrat rhetoric more carefully. If so, go back to the first paragraph, because you clearly know nothing about living in the basket of deplorables.

As for the failed agenda of the Biden administration, it's worth keeping in mind that his government passed two major pieces of legislation that pumped trillions of dollars into the country's faltering economy. It's also worth keeping in mind that just about every bill President Biden wanted enacted was unanimously opposed by Pence's party, especially in the Senate, where the Republicans are ruled by a nihilist turtle.

Are you sure you want to be a politician in the basket of deplorables? Ah, well. It's your life to throw away...