As Opposed To Wankers?
Wokers? Really? As opposed to what? Sleepers? Was Senator John Kennedy admitting that Republicans pull policies out of their...dreams? Or worse, is he admitting that they are recently activated sleeper agents for Russia? (The Manchurian Candidate was a documentary!) Or maybe they just all want to have parts in the remake of Woody Allen's film Sleeper. It's hard to know which would be worse, but none of the options would be what any rational person would consider good.
Trying to understand what people in the basket of deplorables are saying is often like trying to understand an alien who doesn't have a firm grasp of the English language. Or human physiognomy.
Would this be the same Senator who voted against the impeachment of former President Donald Trump? Twice? Funny - he doesn't look like a creature cruelly branded by decades of media as slow to act - maybe the arboreal Neotropical xenarthran mammal DNA was grafted onto his genes by the Republican Party's very own Doctor Moreau, Karl Rove.
Throw in two of the three monkeys who are the patron saints of those who "feel your pain, but I just don't want to get involved," as well as a mutant variation of the third, and you have a recipe for a genetic monstrosity.
Or as they like to call them in the basket of deplorables, a good neighbour.
Gives New Meaning To The Shakespearean Observation That "The Law Is A Ass"
They say that those who forget history are doomed to make fools of themselves talking about it. (Yes, I'm training for the 2024 Paraphrasing Olympics.) Lawyer turned Fox talking sphincter Jonathan Turley should have heeded that advice, but then, that would call for a level of introspection that you don't generally find in a resident of the basket of deplorables.
Turley was discussing the Canadian government's use of the Emergency Powers Act to end the violent "truckers'" protest in Ottawa. The Canadian government. The. Canadian. Government. Okay, so, geography is not Turley's strong suit.
And what's with this "could have arrested Martin Luther King" bushwa? King was arrested. Twenty-nine times. The only reason he didn't reach thirty arrests was because with that number you get egg rolls, and southern cops didn't want him to receive any benefit from their harassment. Oh, and his untimely demise probably had something to do with it, too. History? Not Turley's strong suit, either.
What is Jonathan Turley's strong suit? Apparently, talking through the television screen to former President Donald Trump. He doesn't pull his punches, either: it's strictly sphincter to sphincter. For this, he went to law school? His mother must be so proud.
What Did Nancy Pelosi Ever Do To You?
Volodymyr Zelenskyy has been mocked because his job before he was President of Ukraine was comedian. Still, nobody is mocking American politicians like Republican Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, who become comedians after they take office.
What exactly do gazpacho police do? Do they enter restaurants in Spain and Portugal with food thermometers, testing the soup to ensure that it isn't served above an optimal temperature? Do they take samples back to the lab (because police always have a lab to take samples back to) to determine if they have any untoward ingredients (like beef, pork or compassion)? Do they -
Oh, wait! She meant Gestapo, didn't she? It was hard to tell, since her invocation of a "DC gulag" was actually a reference to the worst excesses of Stalinist Russia, not Nazi Germany. If that metaphor had been any more mixed, vegans could use the intellectual slush as a health drink!
Need I say that the only spying on members of Congress that took place was in the fever-dream collective unconscious of the basket of deplorables? There is a reason it is also known as "the basket that launched a thousand graduate Psychology students theses!" Well, okay, maybe it isn't. But it would be if university psychology departments weren't so conservative when it comes to modernizing their curricula!
