Oh Say Can You CPAC
In The Deplorables Blight...

To The Viktor, Everything Goes Spoiled

Viktor Orban
Is a bad, bad man
Racist and sexist to his core
There is so much about him to deplore
Blushing, he responds, "I do what I can."

They came to exalt, extol, venerate and adore their hero. Senator Ted Cruz swooned. Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh threw a rose onto the stage. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene blew the figure on the stage kisses.

The second coming of Ronald Reagan? Naah! The first (but probably not last) coming of Hungarian dictator Victor Orban, who was a featured speaker at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). (Yes, it was held in Texas - what gave it away?)

There's not much to be said about Orban: fascists gonna fash. The fact that he was given a coveted speaking spot at one of the most important right-wing gatherings of the year (yes, it was held in the basket of deplorables - what gave that away?) says more about the state of modern right-wingism than a thousand episodes of Tucker Carlson's Fox News show.

Well, maybe a hundred episodes of Tucker Carlson's Fox News show.

Okay, if I'm bring honest, three episodes of Tucker Carlson's Fox News show. Still, Carlson crams a ton of deplorable into every episode, so that says a lot!

Trudeau Shrugged And Asked, "Nigel Who Said What, Now?"

Nigel Farage
Has a brain like a junk-cluttered garage
His dream of Brexit
Takes the British economy and wrecks it
He and Republicans make a perfect marriage

The theme of this year's Conservative Christian Political Action Conference (CPAC) was "Awake, Not Woke. Of course, it's hard to - sorry, that should have been: "AWAKE, NOT WOKE." As Nigel Farage discovered, if you want to get the attention of the punters in the back rows who are arguing about who is the worst enemy of humanity (smart money is on George Soros, but Bill Gates has his followers and Hillary Clinton is a sentimental favourite to many), you have to scream really loud.

What could the architect of the plan to tank Britain's economy and send Europe into chaos possibly have to say to American right-wingers? He shouted sweet nothings that they long to hear, cooing about the freedom to die of a horrible disease and murmuring about fighting against governments that are intent on keeping their own people alive. Take that, Justin Trudeau!

Many CPAC attendees, fickle pickles that they are, were willing to forget Orban while Farage was on stage. Love takes strange forms in the basket of deplorables.

Orwell Would Have Found Her Use Of Doublethink Amateurish
But Being Greene, She May Grow Expert At It With More Experience

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Thinks compassion and empathy are obscene
She opposes anything that would help actual people
While labelling those who want to improve lives "sheeple"
The content doesn't matter, as long as on Fox News she is seen

Everybody is familiar with the improv comedy principle of "yes/and." "Why, yes, I think the elephant in the bathroom needs more shampoo...and I'll get the vacuum cleaner while you cook the roast!" (Umm, yeah, this is why I'm not a comedy performer.) The American right (the far is implied) has co-opted this principle (co-opting principles is kind of their thing); it employs "yes/but."

Yes, Marjorie Taylor Greene told Conservative Christian Confrontational Political Action Conference (CPAC), disgraced pundit Alex Jones said "some things" (actually, terrible lies about families who lost children in the Sandy Hook mass shooting, but let's not get bogged down in details), but the lawsuit brought by one of the affected families is "political persecution." To drive the point home (or possibly because she cannot keep track of the things coming out of her mouth), Taylor Greene essentially repeated: yes, no one agrees with what he said (we repeated it because we found the guy's spittle-filled rants charming), but political persecution.

That sounds awfully familiar. Where have I heard that formulation befo - * SNAPS FINGERS * Of course! "Yes, I'm not racist, but..." That's a sentence that never ends badly!

Bannon's The Nigel Farage Of The United States
That Is NOT A Compliment (Although He Will Undoubtedly Think It Is)

Steve Bannon
Is a loose nuke, not a loose cannon
His one and only life joy
Is to destroy, DESTROY, DESTROY!
To arm yourself against inflammatory rhetoric you should plan on

It wouldn't be the Conservative Christian Confrontational Cloud Cuckoo Land Political Action Conference (CPAC) if somebody didn't repeat the Big Lie (that Donald Trump won the 2020 election). And Steve Bannon, the headline speaker at the Friday night ball, was just the (small enough) man to do it.

You might think that, after the destruction of January 6th, a public figure might want to avoid talking about political and ideological war. Sure, you would. And you might think that the world is ready for a Rubik's Cube renaissance. This is America, friend. You have the right to be completely wrong.

You might think that, after the violence at Comet Ping Pong, a public figure might want to avoid accusing Democrats of being "groomers" (today's hip and trendy term on the right for what, in more innocent times, we referred to as "pedophiles"). You know, friend, youthful naivete can slide into wilful blindness without our even realizing that it has happened.

At the CPAC after party on Saturday night, Bannon, Orban and Farage walked into a bar (Greene wasn't invited because girls are icky when they're not pregnant). The fact that they represent the views of the mainstream of the Republican party is no joke.