The evil love child of Donald Trump and a rotting turnip.
2. That's harsh, don't you think?
I didn't say it was a completely rotten turnip, only rotting. That gives the turnip room for redemption.
3. During his leadership campaign, Poilievre promised to make Canada the freest nation on Earth. What did he mean by that?
Free from restrictions on hate and bigotry. Free to spread deadly diseases without repercussion (other than, you know, dying themselves). Free to have babies because abortions are no longer available. Free to work without the burden of union membership. You know: freedom. "Common sense" freedom.
4) According to Poilievre, "Everything feels broken in the lives of ordinary Canadians." Are people's emotions the best basis for making public policy?
Who said anything about policy? This is just to get him elected Prime Minister. Never you mind your pretty - but broken - little head over his policies!
I opened myself up to that, didn't I? Okay. Give it your best shot.
6) An anti-drug video produced for the Conservative party had homeless people milling around in the background. According to B. C.'s Coroner's Service, 83% of overdose deaths in 2022 occurred inside, What does this say about the Conservatives?
Their plan to give the homeless shelter will work!
7) Poilievre's Conservatives blame the rising deaths on safe supply policy, the provision of pharmaceutical-grade drugs to illicit users, which they claim "floods our streets with easy access" to drugs. What does this position ignore?
The fact that organized crime flooded the streets with easy access to drugs long before the safe supply policy was a gleam in a public health official's eye, and they certainly don't want the competition from the government! Or the increase in fentanyl use (from 5% of overdose deaths in 2012 to 87% in 2021), which makes the province's doctors the biggest pushers of deadly drugs - and they don't want competition from the government, either!
8) The video called the safe supply policy a "failed experiment" launched by "woke Liberal and NDP governments." Woke liberals - where have I heard that before?
The dark dreams of vegetarian butchers?
9) One of the policies of Poilievre's Conservative Party is to fight inflation. How do they plan on doing that?
By firing the governor of the Bank of Canada.
Cutting taxes. Average Canadians are paying too much in taxes, which gives the government too much money, which it spends irresponsibly (you know - on social and other wasteful programs), driving up inflation.
No, that's pretty much all the Party's got.
12) Is that paucity of effective solutions a tacit acknowledgement that inflation is an international problem that national governments might be able to slightly mitigate, but have no real power to solve?
You...you're an elite media gatekeeper, aren't you? The Conservatives don't respond to questions from elite media gatekeepers. They tried it once - it gave tem a horrible case of gas.
13) At the same time, the Conservatives are silent on capital gains tax exemptions for the wealthy, which have resulted in the top 1% of households holding 25% of the country's wealth while the bottom 40% have 1.1%. Don't take my word for it - ask the Parliamentary budget officer if you don't believe me! How do the Conservatives justify shifting the tax burden onto working and middle class families in this way?
This is exactly why they don't talk to media gatekeepers. You wouldn't happen to have any Pepto Bismol handy, would you?
14) According to Poilievre, "It doesn't matter if your name is Poilievre or Patel...Martin or Mohamed. If you're prepared to work hard, contribute, follow the rules, raise your family, you can achieve your dreams in this country." How does this apparently pro-immigration position square with the Conservative Party cozying up to white nationalists?
BRRRRRAAAAAP! Excuse them...e. Excuse me. The gatekeeper radar in my stomach is five alarm - and I didn't even have chili for lunch! If you don't have Pepto Bismol, can I at least get a paper bag?
15) Despite Poilievre's pro-immigration noises (so much like speech, so mucher like a stifling hot breeze on a warm summer's day), the Conservatives do not support the Liberals' plan to welcome 500,000 permanent residents by 2025. "The number is not as important as the customer service experience," replied immigration critic Tom Kmiec. The customer service experience? So, allowing immigrants to come to Canada is like buying a glue gun at Canadian Tire?
Absolutely not! Glue guns are useful and hardly ever suck resources out of the welfare system.
16) The Conservative Party has taken a firm stand against a carbon tax to help the environment, claiming that it will be a burden on working families. This is despite the fact that the bottom 80% of wage earners will get more back in rebates than they pay. How do they address this fact?
Just when I was starting to feel bett - BLAAAARGH!
17) Poilievre held a press conference but took no questions. Why would he do that?
The Conservatives have always wanted stenographers, but couldn't afford them.
18) Global News reporter David Akin objected to this. He and Poilievre got into a shouting match over the issue. I won't kid you - obscenities were hurled. How did the two men react after the altercation?
Akin apologized. Poilievre fundraised. Closure comes in many forms...
19) The Mississauga-Lakeshore by-election was Poilievre's first test as Conservative Party leader. How did that work out?
We don't talk about that.
20) That bad, hunh? Even though many of the party's leading MPs, not to mention Poilievre himself, campaigned for the Conservative candidate, Ron Chhinzer?
Next question. Next question!
21) Okay, you lost. Could it have had anything to do with the fact that Poilievre held a rare news conference in Toronto, but didn't invite the city's major print, radio or television news outlets?
Toronto is a cesspool of evil and corruption, and we didn't want a seat there anyway! *SOB* Forget the next question - this Frequently Unasked Questions file is over!