1) How would you best describe the second day of voting for the Speaker of the House?
It was like Groundhog Day. Without the ground. Or the hog. Or Bill Murray's smirk. At least there was that.
2) Did anything change from the first day of voting to the next?
Did it ever! When he was asked if he would back Kevin McCarthy for speaker before the first vote, former President Donald Trump replied, "Kevin...McCartney, was it? The name is...vaguely familiar. But you know, I have a lot of people who have been waiting their whole lives to become speaker ask me for my support, so many people who have been waiting their whole lives to become speaker. Why don't we wait and see what happens?" That night, he called many of the members of the Chaos Caucus who had voted against McCarthy on the first day and told them: "Vote for this guy, already. This is just embarrassing."
3) Was the first ballot of day two different from the last ballot of day one?
Yes. It took the offer of a job in Uncle Manny's drive through vasectomy business.
4) So, it opted for financial safety instead of following its dreams?
Aww, you're no fun when you play along. On the fourth ballot, one of the people who had voted for Kevin McCarthy changed her vote to "present." Since such a vote isn't recorded as a yea or a nay, it isn't counted, lowering the number of votes to win the speakership from 218 to 217.
Oh, I saw what you did there. Ha ha. You're even less fun when you try to contribute to the humour. All of the candidates benefit from a lower threshold of victory, but since Democrat Hakeem Jeffries had the most votes, he was the closest to winning the gavel.
6) So the former president's arm-twisting...?
Was about as effective as playing Twister on the deck of a cruise ship during a hurricane at sea.
Oh, yeah. You know what they say: votes for Speaker of the House are like peanuts and bribes.
Lauren Boebert nominated Byron Donalds, a guy who had been in the House for all of two years, for speaker. In her nominating speech, she said, "Donald Trump, who I love like a brother I never wanted, tried to pressure us to vote for Kevin McCarthy. He should have done the opposite: pressured Kevin McCarthy to vote for us!" I'm sure it made sense in her head, as so much of what she says does.
9) If he had so little experience, why nominate Donalds?
He proved that the Republican caucus was diverse. If that didn't work, they could always nominate one of the three other black members of the 222 member caucus.
10) So, what was the result of the former guy's intervention in the speaker's race?
The fifth vote had exactly the same results as the fourth vote.
11) Did McCarthy learn anything from this?
Apparently not. He held a sixth vote anyway.
12) What was the result of that?
Exactly the same as the fourth and fifth ballots. McCarthy is the definition of insanity on two legs with distinguished silver hair and a glad-handing manner.
The session was adjourned until 8 o'clock that evening.
14) Not the next day? That's different. Why 8 o'clock that evening?
Speculation was that McCarthy would see that he had no path to victory and withdraw his nomination.
Bless your innocence! No, when the House-elect reconvened, the Republicans immediately asked that it be adjourned until the next day. A voice count was inconclusive, so an electronic count was called for. When time expired, the noes were ahead, but the clerk running the show allowed Republicans to vote or change their votes after time expired so that the yeses eventually won and the session was adjourned with much consternation on both sides. Chaos is contagious in Congress.
16) Why would the Republicans go through that?
While you and I were having our dinner, Kevin McCarthy was promising the Chaos Caucus that the Club for Growth (an uberconservative – they drive the party's agenda – Political Action Committee) and the Congressional Leadership Fund (the speaker or minority leader's slush PAC) agreed to stop funding the primary campaigns of Republican candidates who had proven they could win elections if they were being challenged by members of the Chaos Caucus. Apparently, we have reached the former president's condition of too much winning.
17) How is this supposed to further the Chaos Caucus' aim of making the United States more democratic?
Do you seriously believe that a group that is willing to thwart the will of 90% of elected Republicans cares about making the United States more democratic?
18) Oh. Sorry. Sometimes my innocence gets the better of me. How could such a concession possibly be enforced?
I was hoping you would tell me.
19) So, with this latest concession does McCarthy have a path to winning the speakership?
Not while there are at least five Never Kevins. And the group has already started selling buttons, t-shirts, ceremonial seppuku knives with the slogan "Death before Kevin!" and other merch, so he could win over three quarters of the Chaos Caucus and still not become speaker.
20) If that's the case, what does McCarthy's deal-making mean for whoever does become speaker?
Concessions cannot be unconcessed, so whoever becomes speaker will be stuck with them. It would appear that chaos is an effective political strategy...