Ask Dr. Political Science: Heavy Seasonings

Dear Dr. Political Science,
How can you tell it's spring in Montreal?
Nutty About Montreal

Dear NAM,
Mordecai Richler pops his head out of a hole and writes a nasty, brutish and long article about Quebec, which is published in an American magazine or newspaper. If the circumstances are right (mainly, if the magazine or newspaper has a sufficiently large circulation), you can expect six weeks of vituperative response in the Quebec press.

Dear Dr. Political Science,
What is libel chill, and is it catching?
Curious up Pickering Way

Dear CuPW,
Libel chill is essentially a way for people who control important aspects of our lives to ensure that we find out only the most trivial things about their lives. It is Conrad Black's favourite indoor sport, second only to turning around editorially sound but financially weak newspapers, making them financially sound but editorially weak.

If a Famous, Litigiously Inclined Person is referred to in a news publication or broadcast (if he has been accused of such serious offenses as embezzling funds, for instance, or eating at a restaurant that doesn't have four stars), he immediately sues everybody involved in producing the story for a vast sum of money. A whopping great sum. Starting bids in libel chill cases are typically $10 billion.

If successful (ie: the case goes on long enough to bankrupt the news outfit with legal fees), these libel cases have the dual effect of punishing anybody audacious enough to write anything about you (no matter how trivial - or true), and discouraging others from reporting on where you dine. Depending upon who you talk to, these cases are either "my legal right" or "a gross abuse of process." Those who have engaged in suspect libel cases claim that they are exercising a right anybody could exercise.

Well...anybody who can afford a personal army of lawyers, anyway.

Libel chill is not catching; however, purely as precaution, I would suggest wearing warm clothing, staying out of the rain and never questioning in print whether the Riechmanns own more developed property than god (although this may be moot - best to consult a theologian or tax accountant).

And, for heaven's sake, change your acronym! You want to get me in trouble with the union?

Dear Dr. Political Science,
How can you tell it's spring in Toronto?
Curious About Toronto

The chief of Metro's police force pops his head out of a hole and tells the press the city will go to Hell if his budget isn't immediately increased by whatever amount he believes he can scare people into giving. If the circumstances are right (mainly, if Toronto City Council reads the writing on the snow and grants the increase), it will mean a longer winter for those whose social services will have to be frozen to make up for the difference.

Dear Dr. Political Science,
We went to war with Iraq because it invaded Kuwait, which it was prepared to destroy. Iraq was not a democracy, and it treated its own people horribly.

Now, consider China. It invaded Tibet, which it has pretty much destroyed. China is not a democracy, and it treats its own people horribly. Yet, when three Canadian MPs went to China to point these things out, they were vilified at home for having bad manners.

I don't get it. What's the difference between Iraq and China?
Suspicious in Kitchener

Dear SiK,
A few billion dollars in trade and a handful of nuclear warheads.

Dear Dr. Political Science,
How can you tell when it's spring in Winnipeg?
Worried Over Winnipeg

Dear WOW,
You get spring in Winnipeg?

Does something on the political scene puzzle you? Are you confused by a politician's behaviour? If you have any questions, write to Dr. Political Science, care of this publication. But, remember: he's not a medical doctor, so don't ask him about the latest finding in the Journal of Herniated Discs.