The Hair of the Doggerel That Bit You
The Rap on Russia
We're getting our from under Stalin's fist
Communist? No! Capitalist!
Arrivistes
With a shopping list
In the New World Order
Marx has been permanently dissed
Hey, now, listen up, Commisars
What we want is fast cars
Wet bars
Movie stars
In the New World Order
We'll all live like Czars!
No more whinin'
No more linin'
For consumer goods, we're pinin'!
Hey, now, listen up, Comrades
Adam Smith good, Lenin bad
New dad:
NORAD
In the New World Order
All our old enemies are rad
No more talk about the proles
They are buried in deep, deep holes
Voter polls
Gorby dolls
In the New World Order
Russia's full of shopping malls!
assorted limericks
There once was a leader named Brian
Who, for public approval was dyin'
"Free trade," said he,
"Will make us all wealthy!"
But, I wonder - could he have been lyin'?
There once was a leader named Jean
Who performed while the cameras were on
No Pierre Trudeau he;
By disdaining policy
He left the Party no platform to run upon
There once was a leader named Audrey
Who inherited a Party quite tawdry
She was totally bereft
In a world no longer Left
And the voters left her high and dry
Ahh, Toronto, that World Class City -
With a Dome and a Tower so pretty!
But, those who live on the street
Would be happy with enough to eat -
Have we become a town without pity?
A Heartbeat Away
Came time to be President
and deliver a VP
Someone who could best represent
the old ideology
Someone who was acquiescent
and looked like Kennedy
A figure to make Democrats go pale -
J. Danforth Quayle
Now, Danny boy was none too bright
and easily confused
Nor was he swift to take up a fight
National Guard duty he refused
But, he appealed to the right
and left editorial writers bemused
Attractive to voters, female
J. Danforth Quayle
Tax cuts for the wealthy he'll ever adore
for the well off he always pampers
His enthusiasm for the discredited Star Wars
defense system nothing dampers
And the Central American peasants kept poor
are really "happy campers"
Over reality, partisan politics will always prevail
for J. Danforth Quayle
Then, when the VP started to score
as one of their liabilities
The Republicans didn't need him any more
the far right to appease
And through recession, riot and even war
they kept him overseas
An asset no longer, expected to fail
J. Danforth Quayle
BUT...
But, just as Washington was starting to hum
there came a tribulation
The President was hospitalized, suffering from
atrial fibrillation
And - finally! - it dawned on some
that this was a serious situation
Who waits to see how the President ails?
J. Danforth Quayle
Now, if for the highest office you would run
the cost could make you broke
It helps to be a rich man's son
and not an average bloke
Still, in the town of Washington
President Quayle's no longer a joke!
If called upon, who dares not fail?
Gulf War haiku
dark liquid oozing
in pockets underground
awaiting an outcome
silver phallus in the sky
twisted metal, twisted bodies
Cruising
