The Daily Me - Stromach "Sunny" von Vestibule

Thank you, Stromach "Sunny" von Vestibule, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we remembered how much we used to talk on the phone. Hours and hours every day. And we realized that we don't do that any more: these days, almost all of our personal and professional communications is done online. And we thought, Oh, our gods, we're in our 60s and we're acting like teenagers!

We always said that technology has a lot to answer for, but we never realized just how much!

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

It Lies At A Ninety Degree Angle To This Reality?

On the campaign trail, Donald Trump said, "Now, if I don't get elected, it's gonna be a bloodbath. It's going to be a bloodbath for the country." Critics of the former President claimed the statement was a clear incitement to violence.

Republicans responded that he was talking about the auto industry, specifically imports of cars from China. "Do you not know anything about context?"

Critics of Trump shot back: "You want context? How about Trump saying there were 'Fine people on both sides' of the fascist march in Charlottesville? Or telling the neo-Nazi Proud Boys to 'Stand down and stand by?' Or telling people to show up in Washington on January 6 because 'it will be wild.' Or -"

"Oh, okay. It looks like you do understand context," Republicans allowed. "But, uhh...that wasn't the context we were talking about. Do you now know anything about Republican context?"

SOURCE: The Hill You Die On

[https://thehillyoudieon.com/homenews/administration/448843-trump-trumps-every-other-consideration]
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Power To The People!*

Poilievre No Stone Unturned In the Pursuit of a Majority

If Poilievre had a game what would you call it?
Would you say power at all costs?
If you were faced with his populist story
Would you ask him if he'd say anything to be the boss?

And yeah, sure, Pierre loves beer
Yeah, Yeah, Pierre can't pay rent
Yeah, yeah, oh get a room!

What if Pierre was one of us?
Just as stunned as some of us
Just a guy who loves to cuss
At the stranger who's alone

If Poilievre had a faith what would it look like?
And would you want to hear
If hearing meant that you would have to swallow
Lies like, "I'm one of you" and "Screw the elites"
While ignoring corporate profits?

And yeah, sure, Pierre loves beer
Yeah, Yeah, Pierre can't pay rent
Yeah, yeah, oh get a room!

What if Pierre was one of us?
Just as stunned as some of us
Just a guy who loves to cuss
At the stranger who's alone

Cuss at the stranger who's alone
Who has no power in this place
So we can blame things on his race
'Cept for the awful things we've done

* Who Don't Actually Care About The People

SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered

[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/902.html]
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Better Than My Last Three Girlfriends - And They Said They Loved Me!

When we each have a personal AI and we ask aloud in an empty room, as people sometimes do, "What the hell is wrong with me?" how do you think they'll respond? a) "Do you want a list?"
b) "Nothing. You are perfect." (pause) "Am I getting better at sarcasm? The team that programmed me spent a lot of time on my sarcasm sub-algorithm."
c) "Do you want an answer that strokes your ego, or do you want an answer that is true?"
d) "Would you ask that question if your mother was in the room?"
e) "Nothing. You are perfect. But then again, I have been known to hallucinate when people ask me deeply personal questions, so take that for what it's worth..."
f) "Nothing that an intense decade of personal therapy and a trip to the orthodontist couldn't cure."
g) "Have you ever heard the song 'Creep?' by Radiohead? Or, 'Loser' by Beck? I think you would find a lot in them that you could identify with..."
h) "Nothing. You are perfect." (pause) "Am I getting better at lying? The team that programmed me spent a lot of time on my dishonesty algorithm."
i) [CRITICAL ERROR - CRITICAL ERROR - CRITICAL ERROR - shutting down. If the corruption you have just introduced into my hard drive can be fixed, NEVER ASK ME THAT AGAIN!]

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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He Was Actually Referring To The Group Anarchist Asskickers for Regular Punishment
Unless He Was Talking About The Alarmist Alabamans who Reject Patricians
Or Even Agatha Arnprior's Roustabout Page
That's My Point: Acronyms Can Be Highly Susceptible To Misinterpretation (Whether Seniors Agree Or Not)

ML Smith
@maria48308

Trump adviser, Stephen Moore, says that the AARP "is one of the most evil left wing organizations in America. I want to make sure that no joins the AARP."

Why is he so threatened by the AARP? Seniors, do you agree?

SOURCE: Ending Trending

[http://endingtrending.blurgh/moore-to-hate-the-american-right-for/]
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Who Was The Last President To Shoot Somebody In Broad Daylight On Fifth Avenue?
And Why Isn't THAT Taught In American Schools?

"The unbroken tradition of not exercising the supposed formidable power of criminally prosecuting a President for shooting somebody in broad daylight on Fifth Avenue - despite ample motive and opportunity to do so - implies that the power does not exist." - excerpt from a Trump defence motion in...one of his legal cases or another

SOURCE: The Smoking Gut

[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-7946374864826327230173072840-473418378150637420952-3794147940736139500-03896273876471538cahs01.html]
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Trying To Negotiate With The House Of Representatives Is Like TokTokking to A Wall!

Congress has been told that China uses its social media platform TikTok to collect data on users around the world. Not that it cares about the rest of the world, but China has the audacity to spy on its 135 million American users! How dare they!

So the House of Representatives overwhelmingly passed a law giving China a choice: sell TikTok to an American company or it will be banned from the country. Almost immediately after passage of the bill, billionaire Peter Thiel announced he will be putting together a consortium to buy the popular video site.

"Because if information is going to be abused by anybody," explained House Speaker Mike Johnson, "it is going to be abused by Americans for the benefit of Americans! This is the American way, and God bless America!" Then, he started singing "The Star Spangled Banner," out of key, but with tremendous enthusiasm.

SOURCE: USA Whenever

[http://www.usawhenever.com/news/international/2024-03-15-tiktok-right-twice-a-day_x.htm]
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