The Daily Me - Blob.com

Thank you, Blob.com, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we wondered who decided that "any more" should henceforth be written as "anymore." Was there a committee? Of what organization? Were there memos? Public hearings? Studies? Reports? Was there a vote? After fulsome deb ate? Were dissenting opinions released? Or was it a spelling mistake in a prominent text that was replicated in other publications until it became the publishing industry standard?

Honestly, we're not going to accept arbitrary changes to language any more! Sigh. We mean: anymore!

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

"For My Next Trick, I Will Make The International Order Disappear..."

NETANYAHU: Not many people realize this, but I'm an excellent magician.

JOURNALISTS: Really? Show us a trick.

NETANYAHU: Sure. Watch while I make Gaza disappear.

JOURNALISTS: It can't be do -

Israel bombs the Iranian embassy in Syria.

JOURNALIST 1: Mister Prime Minister, why did Israel attack the Iranian embassy?

JOURNALIST 2: Mister Prime Minister, aren't you aware that attacking a foreign embassy is against international law?

JOURNALIST 3: Mister Prime Minister, aren't you worried that Iran will retaliate for your attack on its embassy?

JOURNALIST 4: Mister Prime Minister, aren't you worried about starting a wider war in the region?

NETANYAHU: (smiling; to camera) I learned the art of misdirection from Penn and Teller.

SOURCE: Deadline News Network

[http://www.dnn.com/2024/ALLPOLITICS/04/18/reps.main/index.html]
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We Wanted To Ask A Beaver To Comment On This Article, But We Couldn't Find One...

Canada's strategic reserve of a vital resource is dwindling to the point where the country could face serious shortages soon. Oil? Naah - there's still plenty of that. Fresh water? Closer, but there's still plenty of that, too. Compassion? A good - if somewhat whimsical - choice, but one that is difficult to quantify.

No, a combination of soaring demand during the COVID pandemic and warm winters has caused a potentially critical shortage of that most Canadian of commodities: maple syrup. If Canada runs out of maple syrup, the only commercial connection to the country's past will be its trade in beaver pelts. That it should come to -

What?

SOURCE: The Financial Riposte

[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=49ccddc7-f6f3-4f4f-9f25-b2ea4dd6a528]
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If It Wasn't For Bad Behaviour, He Would Have No Behaviour At All

0 de conduite) Donald Trump repeatedly closed his eyes for substantial lengths of time during jury selection for his first criminal trial. Why did he do this? a) he was manifesting a better world where President Joe Biden was in court and "President" Trump was hard at work deporting millions of black and brown people
b) he was psychically communicating his deep displeasure with the proceedings to Laura Ingraham
c) he wasn't falling asleep! Donald Trump has the constitution of a horse!! He can stay up for three and a half weeks if he needs to - eight hours in a courthouse is as nothing to him!!! He was...he was...doing one of the other answers! Pick a) or b)!!

 0 impulse control) During jury selection, Donald Trump retweeted a message that claimed that the Democrats were advising their followers to pretend to be objective during voir dire so that they could stack the jury with people who would find Trump guilty. This would appear to violate Judge Merchan's order that Trump not intimidate jury members. Why would Trump risk jail time to do this? a) Trump has convinced himself that he will be raptured out of prison if any judge is foolish enough to put him in one, so what does he have to worry about?
b) Trump has convinced himself that he will be busted out of prison by his followers if any judge is foolish enough to put him in one (he may have seen one too many westerns as a child), so what does he have to worry about?
c) every time one of his lawyers tries to explain what a gag order is and what penalties he could face for violating one, Trump closes his eyes, and his lawyers don't want to interrupt his psychic communications with Laura Ingraham

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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"And They'll Need All The Votes They Can Get," The Spokesperson Didn't Need To Say

Quietly buried in its budget, the federal government has pledged $325 million to upgrade prisons to hold immigration detainees. "We might as well give them a taste of what they can expect after we allow them to permanently enter the country," a member of the Canada Border Services Agency explained.

This move comes as the provinces have pledged to find alternatives to incarcerating immigrant detainees. Why would the federal government take up what the provinces no longer feel it is right to do? "It's less expensive than hiring more judges to get through the caseload faster," a Ministry of Justice spokesperson said. "And when I say less expensive, I mean it will cost the Liberal Party fewer votes."

SOURCE: Glob and Maul

[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20240420.eladvote0420_@/BNStory/newsOops2024/]
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Being Completely Unself-aware Is Not a Prerequisite To A Successful Grift, But It Clearly Doesn't Get In The Way

"A crook is a crook. But a guy who pretends he is enforcing the law and steals on his authority is a swell snake. The worst type of these punks is the big politician, who gives about half his time to covering up so that no one will know he's a thief." - Al Capone "I often say Al Capone, he was one of the greatest of all time, if you like criminals." - Donald Trump

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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What Are We Talking Abou - Oh.
Couldn't Let It Go, Could We?
Well, The Rest Of The World Doesn't Want To Hear Any More About It.
Anymore About It.

However the decision was come by, what was the purpose of the change? It couldn't be to save ink: all that was removed was a space. It couldn't have been to save money: even at a high payment rate per word, you would only be saving one word. Maybe half a dozen if the writer really liked using the word, but still. Could it have been to cater to the purported shorter attention spans of people who grew up in the digital age? The error by one writer eventually propagated through the language theory becomes more and more attractive all the time.

We understand that language changes all the time. But in the dumbest of timelines, does it have to be for the dumbest of reasons?

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

SOURCE: The Daily Me

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