A Headline By Any Other Name...Would Be A Different Headline, I Guess

Go Back In Time And Kill Yourself Before You Create It

"How to overcome Toronto's doom loop" - Toronto Star

Crazy, I Know, But I Thought Homes Might Help Solve The Problem

"Creativity needed to help homeless" - Toronto Star

Confusing Denture Cream With Krazy Glue?
Yeah, Nobody Warned Me That Could Happen





What?

"What I Did Not Expect About Getting Old" - New York Times

Anti-vaxxers Are Salivating

"Report warns of trucker shortage
Canada needs about 20,000 more drivers, data shows" - Toronto Star

Because Investors Don't Already Have Enough Opportunities?

"Tax exemption crucial to build more rental housing" - Toronto Star

"Investors own over 50% of new condos" - Toronto Star

Number Softens When They're Asked If They Would Be Willing To Clean Their Own Toilets

"Immigration target is too high, majority say
Canadians across political spectrum agree in new poll" - Toronto Star

Oh, Is That What Israel Is Saying It's Doing Now?

"Razing Villages To Revive Economy" - New York Times

Paul Desmarais Needs A Good Laugh

"Time to hit Canada's rich with a wealth tax" - Toronto Star

Elon Musk Needs A Good Laugh

"Ottawa must pass online harms law" - Toronto Star

They Just Aren't Telling Anybody Which Problem They Plan On Dealing With

"Canadian oil firms in spotlight in Dubai
Under pressure to help Ottawa meet climate pledges, executives say they're ready to be ‘part of the solution'" - Toronto Star

I'm Glad You're Finally Coming To Terms With The Immediate Threat Of Global Climate Cha - What? You're Actually Talking About The Distant Threat Of Artificial Intelligence? I - You - But -
We Are So Doomed!

"Sugarcoating Annihilation" - New York Times

And That's A Price - Hic! - I'm Willing To Have You Pay

"In more ways than one, cheap booze will cost us" - Toronto Star

Maybe If They Had Put More Effort Into Developing Sitcoms...

"CBC layoffs no laughing matter to Canadians" - Toronto Star

That'll Teach Him Not To Threaten To Withhold My Allowance Unless I Clean My Room And Mow The Lawn!

"A Rioter for Trump, Reported By His Son" - New York Times

Making Booze Cheaper Is A Good Start

"How to get more organ donors" - Toronto Star

And Cheap Booze

"Bitcoin rises to $38,000 on investor optimism" - Toronto Star

Damn Straight! The Regulations Don't Go Nearly Far Enou -
What?

"New U.S. regulations have big bank CEOs concerned" - Toronto Star

With The Right Press, Even A Psychopath Can Be Hailed As A Statesman

"Lessons From Kissinger's Feats and Failures" - New York Times

Too Bad He Wasn't As Passionate About, You Know, Mayoring

"Chow backs proposal to rename Centennial stadium after Rob Ford
Former mayor was passionate about football" - Toronto Star

I Have A Feeling This Is A Sesame Street Teachable Moment

"Surviving the Great Depression, COVID and...polyester" - Toronto Star

Sand From The Hourglass Of Time Is Leaking Out And Dripping Onto The Rainforest

"Time running out to save the planet" - Toronto Star

Except When They Need A "Woke" Target

"Universities don't matter to politicians" - Toronto Star

None Of Them Live In The Middle East

"Evidence That Ape Groups Live in Harmony" - New York Times

That's Just What A "Woke" Publication Would Say

"Polarizing rhetoric does little to solve this housing crisis" - Toronto Star

Most Corporate Executives Watch A Christmas Carol In Reverse

"Experts suggest being prepared as layoffs loom ahead of holidays" - Toronto Star

Descendants Of Immigrants, On The Other Hand...

"U.S. Is Not Being Ruined By Immigrants" - New York Times

I Hope It's Made Of Sturdier Wood Than Last Time

"Fired OpenAI CEO back under new board" - Toronto Star

Sorry, Dave, But Your Opinion On This Matter Cannot Be Allowed To Interfere With The Mission

"Sorry, AI, you can't read my pet's mind" - Toronto Star

It Won't Actually Change Conditions For Farmers, But It Gives Bureaucrats Warm Fuzzies Thinking They've Made A Difference

"Canada wins U. S. Dispute on dairy quota" - Toronto Star

In Texas, This Is Known As "Treason"

"Women's health must be a priority" - Toronto Star

It's A Deep State Plot To Get Rid Of All Of Washington's Enemies!
It's Alien Mind Control!
It's...It's...It's Time I Stepped Away From The Keyboard For A While, Isn't It?

"End of Tuberculosis Should Be Near, but It Isn't" - New York Times