Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Would Be Pissed If They Were Shut Out Of The Oscars, Too
Headlines Would Be Pissed If They Were Shut Out Of The Oscars, Too
Because The Spleen Has Never Had A Romantic Inclination, And The Lower Intestine Is A Real Grouch
"Make this Valentine's Day come from the heart"
- Toronto Star
Who Would Report On Its Demise?
"Local news can't be allowed to die"
- Toronto Star
If Babies Can Be Born With STDs, Maybe They CAN Have Abortions When They're One Year Old
I Suppose I Owe Bill Eigel An Apology
Bill, I'm Sorry You're A Vicious, Heartless Asshole
We Good?
"Alarming rise in newborns with syphilis sign of gaps in access to care, doctors say"
- Toronto Star
"What About White History?" The Usual Suspects Demand
This Initiative Should Be Followed Up By A Mandatory Course On Irony
"Ontario to introduce mandatory Black history"
- Toronto Star
This Will Allow Them To Be Smuggled Into Heaven When Their Owners Ascend
"'Destroyed' Guns Are Reborn"
- New York Times
So, We Have To Destroy The Vehicle To...?
"Self-destruct option can stop auto thefts"
- Toronto Star
That's Fair: It's Not The First Choice For Many Canadians, Either
"Canada is not the first choice for immigrants"
- Toronto Star
Our Politicians Will Require Extra Vigilance To Avoid Them All
"There are many ways to solve our housing crisis"
- Toronto Star
It Would Burn With The Rest Of The World
"How a Trump win would affect Canada"
- Toronto Star
I Like To Drink Rembrandts With Two Creams And Foam On The Top
"Consuming Art Can Make Us Better People"
- New York Times
Cleaning Up After Them Gives Junior Officers Something To Do
"Horses play an important role in policing"
- Toronto Star
The Tax Hike For Everybody Else Is Already So Big That They Won't Notice Another Raise To Cover The Cost Of The Measure
"Council must support lowering property taxes for rentals"
- Toronto Star
They Meant The Move Will Hinder Efforts To Attract Global Money
"Schools sound alarm over admission cap
Colleges, universities tell federal minister move will hinder efforts to attract global talent"
- Toronto Star
Drink More Of It
Lots More
"How to make not-so-great wine taste better"
- Toronto Star
The Odds Are Better Than An Asteroid Strike, Not As Good As Donald Trump Supporting Russia In Any Conflict With...Anybody, Really...
"For NATO, Russian Invasion Seen as Possibility"
- New York Times
You...Really Need To Put Some Younger Reporters On The Fashion Beat...
"Grandfather CLOSET
Slip on a sweater vest for this season's most delightful look: Eclectic Grandpa"
- Toronto Star
Those Owned By Lawyers Might Squawk About Their Speech Rights
"Plan to curtail profane parrots could backfire"
- Toronto Star
Because Everybody Knows The Best Way To Defeat Bullies Is To Play Nice With Them
"PM's trash talk worries former official
Ex-ambassador says Trudeau should ditch anti-Trump rhetoric"
- Toronto Star
Miracles Happen
"Finch West LRT may open by end of year"
- Toronto Star
As Long As You Take Them To The Recycle Bin, No Problem
"I take the worst photos"
- Toronto Star
As Long As They Don't Form A Union And Demand The Province Raise Their Allowance
"Fine for kids to know more than teachers"
- Toronto Star
But Who Will Save America?
"Only America Can Save Us"
- New York Times
Too Bad Our Collective IQ Is Slightly Higher Than A Turnip
"Canada must be smart and act now"
- Toronto Star
Neil Gaiman Should Never Have Pursued A Career As A Federal Housing Minister
"A dream home in a nightmare market"
- Toronto Star
Valium Knows It's No Fentanyl, You Don't Have To Constantly Be Referring To It As A Slacker
"Pill shaming needs to stop"
- Toronto Star
Let Them Eat Our Good Intentions
"Ending homelessness must be our goal"
- Toronto Star
And The Sun Rises In The East
And Water Is Wet
And Bill Eigel Is Still A Vicious, Heartless Asshole
And Your Point Is...?
"Trump asks for trial to be put off"
- Toronto Star
The Mayor Giveth...
"Chow open to larger boost for police budget"
- Toronto Star
...And The Electorate Taketh Away
"Tax hike lowers mayor's approval rating"
- Toronto Star
It's About Time!
Young Crops Dress Funny, Listen To Weird Music And Don't Respect Their Elders!
"For Food Security, a Turn to Growing Old Crops"
- New York Times
Its Planes, On The Other Hand...
"Airline says it can handle turbulence"
- Toronto Star
