You Can Lead a Headlines To Water...

Avoiding A Strike By Paying Workers Fair Wages Adds Risk To My Annual Bonuses

"Bill C-58 adds risk to supply chain" - Toronto Star

 Especially To Somebody Who Expresses Concern About Supply Chains
Especially Especially If They're Your Ten Year-old Child

"Set boundaries when talking about money" - Toronto Star

"As Long As You Smile Sincerely At Them, They'll Swallow Anything!"

"'He loved Canadians'
Mourners deliver touching tributes amid the grandeur of Mulroney's final farewell" - Toronto Star

 ChatGPT Will Tell Them That Generative AI Is The Answer
AND THEY WILL BELIEVE IT

"Business leaders can save art sector" - Toronto Star

Unbelievably Privileged And Wealthy And Entitled (In More Than One Sense Of The Word), But, Yeah, Sure, Human

"The Royals are still human" - Toronto Star

I Didn't Realize It Had Started...

"Judge gives FTX founder 25 years in prison
'My useful life is probably over,' Bankman-Fried says after being sentenced for fraud, conspiracy" - Toronto Star

 And I Should Be A World Renowned Satirist
Your Point Being...?

"Carbon tax debate should be about policy" - Toronto Star

Defence Claims He Had Already Stolen A Perfectly Good One For His Personal Use, So Why Would Anybody Object?

"Workers testify cop attempted to sell dead man's watch" - Toronto Star

Responding To ISIS' Claims Of Responsibility, Kremlin States: "They're Confused."

"'A bloody, barbaric terrorist act'
Putin tries to link music hall attack to Ukraine, but Kyiv denies connection to suspects arrested" - Toronto Star

Is There No End To The Evils The Carbon Tax Perpetrates?

"Pollination Of Plants May Be Disrupted" - New York Times

And Live Unhealthy Years To The Least Full?

"Live healthy years to the fullest" - Toronto Star

 Well, I Don't Care What He Thinks, Either!




Does That Make Me Eligible For A Cabinet Position?

"Poilievre doesn't care what 'we' think" - Toronto Star

Sounds Great – Where Do I Apply?

"High pay despite poor performance" - Toronto Star

Diplomacy Bombs Not Working As Well As They Used To?

"Retool 'arsenal of democracy'" - Toronto Star

A Shift Which, Depending Upon Your Point Of View, Can Be Described As Either "Fatalism" Or "Nihilism," Not That The Difference Much Matters To The Peary Caribou...

"Big banks feel less pressure on climate from shareholders
Fewer proposals part of wider shift" - Toronto Star

Plans To Sue Airline For Child Support

"Woman gives birth on Air Canada flight" - Toronto Star

If It Fails, People May Start To Lose Faith In Tech Geniuses – The Consequences Are Too Horrible To Contemplate

"Tesla has Wall Street worried
Financial analysts are expecting automaker to report little-to-no sales growth in latest quarter" - Toronto Star

Olympicans Interruptis?

"Show leadership and pull out of the World Cup" - Toronto Star

The Trick Is To Stash It In The Caymans BEFORE You Say, "I Do"

"Your marriage might not have lasted, but your money can" - Toronto Star

 What If Having No Plan IS A Plan?
...Yeah, That Didn't Make Much Sense To Us, Either...

"Critics of carbon tax have no plan" - Toronto Star

 There Is A 12 Step Program For That
Unfortunately, It Takes 150 Years To Complete

"Our banks are addicted to oil" - Toronto Star

"Their Ghosts Told Me They Wanted Me To Have The Cards," Cop Testifies

"Constable denies taking credit cards from dead people" - Toronto Star

 You're Not Going To Convince Anybody That Way
Try: "Don't Balk At Real Talk"
Or: "Slogans Are For The Woebegone"

"Enough slogans. It's time for real talk" - Toronto Star

I Would Respond To That, But I Don't Feel Like It Right Now...

"Passivity is the essence of the digital world" - Toronto Star

What Are You Talking About? The Wine Cellar And Jet Hangar Are NOT Luxuries, Buster, I Couldn't Live Without Them!

"Luxury home sales on upswing
Larger jump in mid-sized Canadian cities than urban centres, report finds" - Toronto Star

Ignorance Campaigns Are Better Funded, Have The Support Of More Media

"Awareness campaigns only do so much" - Toronto Star

 Borax The Tracts
Lorax The Interacs
Detracts The...The...Detracts The...I Got Nothing
Kind Of Like The Tories

"'Axe the Facts' is a more suitable slogan for Tories" - Toronto Star

You Mean...SHE'S NOT THE DUKE OF WINDSOR?

"Great-aunt sharing misinformation" - Toronto Star

 "Let Them Breathe Cake!
(Just Don't Tell Them The Ingredients!)"

"Canada's air more toxic than U.S. for first time
Wildfires led to increased levels of pollution, report finds" - Toronto Star