Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Wouldn't Know a Good Deal If It Hit Them Between the Is!
Headlines Wouldn't Know a Good Deal If It Hit Them Between the Is!
Ontario, Yours To Recover
Kit Kats Shouldn't Come In Vanilla Or Orange Flavours, Either, But This Is The World We Now Live In
"Ford should not interfere in Toronto's affairs"
- Toronto Star
Unlike The Roads That Surround Our Parks, Or The Buildings On Those Roads
Oh, Honey, The Nature Ship Has Sailed, Spewing Carbon As It Went!
"Encampments harm nature"
- Toronto Star
Two Hundred Fifty Dollars Not Enough For You?
"Premier hasn't kept promises"
- Toronto Star
If You're Taking Advantage Of Beer Sales, You Better Stay In The Back Seat Or You'll Need Some Health Care!
"Our health care takes a back seat to beer sales"
- Toronto Star
He's Obviously Never Heard That You Don't Get What You Pay For
"BIKE LANES
Tories balk at $48M removal estimate
Minister says cost to scrap paths 'doesn't add up'"
- Toronto Star
But Apparently Not As Much As It Actually Costs
"Province will pay for lane removals"
- Toronto Star
They Figure: "If I'm Going To Damage My Health, I May As Well Do It Right!"
"People drive to gas stations to buy alcohol"
- Toronto Star
The United States, Yours To Plunder
We're Not A Government, We Just Play One On TV
"Trump to name ex-reality TV star to cabinet"
- Toronto Star
True: We Have A Lot Of Pipelines To Go With It
"When Trump comes calling for our water, Canada must be ready
Contrary to popular belief, Canada is not merely a faucet"
- Toronto Star
Mainstream Journalists Only People Who Are Surprised
"Trump's transition team turns to Project 2025 after disavowing it during the campaign"
- NBC News Online
For Journalists Who Didn't Take Project 2025 Seriously, Perhaps
For Those Of Us Who Read The Road Map...
"An unpredictable Future for the U. S."
- New York Times
The 1860s?
"Trump win would be bad news for Canada
Return to White House could leave us in a less secure place"
- Toronto Star
Going To DisneyWorld Probably Wasn't Realistic In Any Case
"Migrants Rethinking U.S. Plans
- New York Times
They're Obviously Not Experts On Malignant Narcissism
"Experts think Trump will exempt Canada from tariffs on crude
Taxes on oil would likely hike pump prices in U.S."
- Toronto Star
Putin Has Wasted Enough Time And Treasure On This Pissant Country When There Are So Many Other Former Parts Of The USSR To Conquer
"Trump Should Hasten the Inevitable in Ukraine"
- New York Times
Other Places, Yours To Other Verbs
Gaza Sighs, "I Remember When Attacks On Me Were Headline News. Now, I'm Relegated To A Teeny, Tiny Subhead. Not Even In Bold Type. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?"
"Israeli strike in Beirut kills Hezbollah's spokesperson
Attack on Gaza kills at least 30"
- Toronto Star
Because Sometimes You Need Pur Laine To Get You Through A Cold Winter Night
"Quebec freezes two programs offering path to permanent residency
Province seeking more control over population intake"
- Toronto Star
The Problem Is: Getting Our Homeless There Would Be A Logistical Nightmare
"Look to Finland for solution to homelessness"
- Toronto Star
And, Inevitably, Everybody Else
As In, "I'm So Insider I'm An Outsider?"
That Logic Didn't Make Sense In The 1960s, And It Had A Lot Of Pharmaceutical Assistance!
"Carney tries to position himself as 'an outsider'"
- Toronto Star
But, We Promised Ourselves We Would Try To Understand MAGA, So Forget We Said That
"Resentful Crows Just Won't Let It Go"
- New York Times
But, We Promised Ourselves We Would Try To Understand MAGA, So Forget We Said Tha - Dammit!
"First Warnings, Then a Dam Disaster"
- New York Times
Turns Out, He Was Just Jealous
"Tory leader is changing party's relationship with corporations
Poilievre ripped into Canada's business elite for their cosiness with the Liberal government"
- Toronto Star
If Your Hand Ends Up In One Ear And Out The Other, You're Clearly Doing It Wrong
"Introduction etiquette can sometimes be tricky"
- Toronto Star
But If They Can't Make Room, How Effective Can They Be At Being Bullies?
"No room for bullies in politics"
- Toronto Star
Of Course, Thinking Is The Cheapest Way To Travel
"In praise of the do-nothing trip
Unlike massive theme-park ships cruising aboard a small sailboat offers a fundamentally simpler way to travel"
- Toronto Star
Avoid Cheap Merlot
"The spirit in which you visit matters most"
- Toronto Star
"Nobody Ever Reads Them, Anyway..."
"Wait - Did I Say That Out Loud?
"Postal strike affecting Santa letters
Officials advise kids to go ahead and write them anyway"
- Toronto Star
