Headlines Had No Enthusiasm For Ringing In the New Year -
They Were Still suffering The Hangover From Last Year

Ever Helpful, Pierre Poilievre Suggests They Should Stop Bathing In Acid

"Half of Canadians say they are $200 from insolvency" - Toronto Star

Was The Press Thinking Trump Would Start Another Insurrection Out Of Nostalgia For The First One?

"Congress certifies Trump's win without violent repeat of 2021" - Toronto Star

 Or He Could Double Down If He Thinks He's Being Taken Too Seriously
Or He Could Break Out In A Rash And Blame Democrats For Creating Allergies
That's Kind Of How Being A Chaos Agent Works

"Experts warn against dismissing tariff musings
Trump could 'double down' if he thinks he's not being taken seriously" - Toronto Star

Premier Not Worried, Says Challenges Will Die When Province Becomes 51st State

"Alberta lifts coal moratorium
Province facing legal challenge from five companies over policy changes" - Toronto Star

At Least Their Grieving Families Have The Comfort Of Knowing That Their Dead Weren't Targeted

"Israeli strikes kill 17 in Gaza
Nearly all victims in attack on southern region were women or children" - Toronto Star

Journalist Suffering From Lazy Approach To Economic Analysis

"Canada suffering from lazy approach to growth" - Toronto Star

You, Uhh, Really Need To Get A Hobby, You Know?

"Markle pays tribute to her late pet beagle" - Toronto Star

Once You've Chased Away Those Who Can Barely Afford To Drive, It Will Make Things So Much Easier For The Rest Of Us!

"Charging drivers can solve our traffic woes
When I was city planner, I tried to implement congestion pricing, as New York has now done. It's not too late" - Toronto Star

Somebody Needs To Start The Red Dawn Channel

"Make Pop Culture Great Again" - New York Times

Good Plan, Timetable Needs Work

"Get on financial track with this five-day money reset" - Toronto Star

 Did They Install Unicorns And Rainbows?
Or Is This Just More Evidence That We Live In Times Of Diminished Expectation?

"Dufferin Mall is my happy place" - Toronto Star

Short Headlines Even Perfecter

"Short Books Are Perfect For Our Distracted Age" - New York Times

"He Can Have All The Priorities He Wants," Pierre Poilievre Comments, "As Long As He Acts On Mine..."

"Ford vows to take on feds
Change of power in Ottawa wouldn't alter his priorities, premier insists" - Toronto Star

 At This Moment.
A Week From Now...?

"Trump backs Johnson as House Speaker" - Toronto Star

 Every Time I Walk Up A Flight Of Stars, Baby
Every Time

"Be prepared to deal with altitude sickness" - Toronto Star

 This Is Only The 49th Iteration Of This Headline Over The Last Few Decades
So Close To A Milestone!
Give It Two Or Three Months, Then Break Out The Cake!

"Canada must look beyond U.S. for trade options" - Toronto Star

 1. Hostages Released
2. Aid To Gaza Is Throttled Again
3. Bombing Of Gaza Resumes

"Ceasefire deal involves three phases" - Toronto Star

 So We Can Be Killed Or Converted To Christianity?
I Like Living Where And How I Am, Thank You Very Much

"It's time for all Jews to consider coming home to Israel - opinion" - Jerusalem Post

Just A Guess: He's Afraid A Federal Election Of Poilievre Will Put Ontario Voters Off Conservatives?

"The real reason Ford wants an election" - Toronto Star

On The Other Hand, They Also Believe That The Tide Coming In Calls For A Fresh Mandate

"Ford eyes election call as soon as next week
Tories say Trump's tariff threat calls for fresh mandate" - Toronto Star

Golden Age, Gilded Age, It's Such A Fine Line...For Some

"TRUMP'S SECOND ACT
President promises new 'golden age' as he returns to White House with radical agenda" - Toronto Star

That Light In The Sky Isn't An Asteroid - It's The Star Of Bethlehem!

"Democracy Is Not Facing Global Extinction" - New York Times

 Enact Law First, Do Research Into Law Second
Where Have I Heard Logic Like That Before...?<[>

"Province hires 'third party' to investigate effects on community
Government faces Charter challenge over plan to close 10 locations across Ontario" - Toronto Star

Harrison Ford

"But who will save us from Doug Ford?" - Toronto Star

They Don't Need Any More Opportunities To Embarrass Themselves, Thank You Very Much

"Wave of conservatism an opportunity for progressives" - Toronto Star