Catherine picks up a box and looks it over carefully.CATHERINE I’m afraid I’ve never been very good a this...
Catherine puts the box back down on the counter.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) My body doesn’t take scents easily –I don’t know why. Maybe I’m missing a perfume gene or something...
Catherine looks hopefully across the counter. On the other side, the COUNTERWOMAN sits on a stool, slumped over the counter. Catherine grabs a handful of her hair and lifts up the woman’s head. The Counterwoman’s skin is ashen grey, her eyes dead.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Can you recommend anything?
Catherine lets the woman’s head drop back to the counter and walks away. INT. MALL LINGERIE DEPARTMENT – DAY A MAN lies crumpled in the middle of a display of sexy women’s underwear, clutching a black nightie in one hand. His skin is quite grey.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Does nobody believe in service any more?
INT. MALL TOY DEPARTMENT – DAY A pregnant woman and a woman pushing a baby carriage lie ashen and dead in front of a display of violent video games.CATHERINE Attention shoppers...
(over PA)
INT. MALL ESCALATOR – DAY Three dead grey corpses lie in a heap at the bottom of an escalator. Since it’s going down, it gently nudges them every other second.CATHERINE We’ve been gouging you with outrageous prices for, well, as long as I can remember. And we’re sorry. Really, really sorry.
(over PA)
INT. MALL CAFETERIA – DAY A MOTHER is face down in a bowl of soup. Across the table from her, a six year-old GIRL is slumped in her chair, an uneaten plate of vegetables in front of her. Both have grey skin.CATHERINE In fact, to prove how sorry we are, from now on, we’re offering a hundred per cent discount on all merchandise. That’s right. Not 10 per cent – that’s for wimps. 20 per cent? No way. Too wussy. One hundred per cent off. And not just on pathetic crap that nobody wants! No! On every single piece of merchandise in the store!
(over PA)
EXT. STREET – DAY Catherine walks down the street, sipping a big coffee from a styrofoam cup and humming a happy tune. She walks up to a dead couple who, hand in hand, are lying on the street in front of a jewelry store window. The skin of both of them is a ghastly shade of grey.CATHERINE Well, I feel better. Have a nice day.
(over PA)
SOUND: a dog barks weakly nearby.CATHERINE You would pledge eternal love over worthless trinkets like –
(sniffs)
EXT. CORNER – DAY Catherine walks around the corner to find a MATRON (50ish, plump, conservatively dressed) face down on the concrete, her skin a ghoulish grey. Around her wrist is the leash of a small dog, who barks happily when he sees Catherine.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Excuse me.
Catherine kneels down to free the dog, but can’t bring herself to touch the woman’s body.CATHERINE Oh, you poor thing!
Catherine stands and looks around. Spotting something, her eyes light up.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Uhh...hold on a sec...
EXT. STREETLAMP – DAY A Lamborghini has gently plowed into a streetlamp. There is a small dent in the fender; otherwise, it looks to be in perfect condition. Catherine reverently walks up to the car. SOUND: the dog yaps faintly in the background. Catherine walks around the car, appraising it appreciatively, then walks to the driver’s side door and opens it. DRIVER (middle-aged, pot, unconvincing toupee) slides out the door. His skin is dark grey.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Oooh!
Catherine uses a toe to gently nudge the Driver’s body out of the car.CATHERINE I never thought I’d be thankful for a man’s mid-life crisis, but –
INT. CAR – DAY Catherine is cheerfully driving very fast down the street. She slows down when she comes to a group of animals meandering down the street. The group includes: a pair of horses, a rhinoceros, several barnyard animals, a giraffe, two deer and a goat. Catherine leans heavily on the horn, to little effect. Frustrated, she sticks her head out the window.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Time somebody more deserving took possession of this wonderful machine.
Fed up, Catherine turns down a side street. EXT. GAS STATION – DAY The Lamborghini drives into a gas station. A couple of other cars have stalled there. Dead, grey bodies are in the cars; a couple of bodies in uniform are on the pavement. The Lamborghini pulls into a self-serve bay and stops. Catherine gets out and starts filling the engine with gas, all the while humming her happy tune. As she fills the tank, she notices one of the uniformed corpses nearby.CATHERINE Hey! We didn’t make these roads for you!
She peers intently at the body for a moment.CATHERINE Hey...
Catherine laughs gaily to herself. INT. CAR – DAY Catherine is driving down another street. Fast. She fiddles with the knob of the radio, but there is nothing but static.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Chet – wanna check my oil?
SOUND: a telephone begins to ring. Catherine slams on the breaks, bringing the car to a screeching halt. The phone continues to ring. Catherine opens the glove compartment, revealing, among other things, a cell phone. For a moment, she looks at it hungrily. Then, Catherine grabs it out of the glove compartment and turns it on.CATHERINE Why is there never anything good to listen --
SOUND: static. Catherine takes the phone away from her ear to look at it in disbelief. Then, she puts it back to her ear.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Hello?PHONE VOICE Hello. This is North American Telecom. Please stand by, and a representative will come on the line and tell you all about our exciting new long distance services and rates.
Catherine sighs, then ferociously slams the phone on the dashboard until there is nothing left of it but electronic shards. INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – DAY It is large, with lots of warm wood paneling, bookcases and furniture, tasteful art on the walls, a good view of the city out of the window, etc. The MAYOR (50ish, trim) sits in a chair behind the main desk, dead and grey, of course. Catherine paces back and forth on the other side of the desk.CATHERINE Hello? Hello!
She stops pacing and looks hopefully at the Mayor. After a couple of seconds, she resumes her pacing.CATHERINE Okay, I’ll admit, I didn’t vote for you – either time. Honestly, you’re a huckster and a clown – not my idea of the ideal mayor. Still, at times like this, shouldn’t we put aside partisan differences for the greater good?
Catherine stops pacing and looks at the Mayor. Again, no response. After a couple of seconds, she resumes pacing.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Right. It seems to me that the ordinance to control the size and frequency of house parties has resulted in a drastic reduction in the rate of fun in this city, and should be abolished forthwith. I’m sure you’ll agree?
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – DAY (LATER) Catherine has pulled a chair up next to the Mayor. She has chummily put one arm around the top of his chair, careful not to actually touch him.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) And another thing: do you really believe that anti-smoking by-laws really stop people from smoking?
Catherine clutches her stomach in pain. To get her arm to it, she knocks the Mayor’s head, causing him to slump forward in the chair. His head hits the desk with a dull thud. Catherine, horrified despite her pain, jumps out of her seat.CATHERINE George. Beautiful blond curls. Face like a Greek god. And he knew it, too, the little shit. Still –
(confiding)
(grimaces) Still, I really wanted to –
After a few seconds, it does. Panting, Catherine straightens up and looks around the room. Her breathing slowly returns to normal. She goes to a corner of the Mayor’s desk where there is a telephone, picks up the receiver and starts to punch in numbers. Catherine puts down the receiver and looks at the Mayor.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Don’t...don’t mind me. This...will...soon... pass...
(gasping)
Catherine picks up the receiver again and dials enough numbers for a long distance call. SOUND: phone ringing. After three rings, a click.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Dial nine to get out, right?
Catherine slams down the phone.FROST You have reached the Frost residence. Unfortunately, I am not able to take your call at the present time. If you would like to leave a –
(over telephone)
EXT. STREET – DAY The Lamborghini rounds a corner. CHARLES (stiff demeanour, round features, big glasses, nerdy clothes) sits in a lotus position in the middle of the road. Catherine slams on the breaks, swerving to miss him. Charles, working on a laptop on top of his lap, is oblivious to this. Catherine backs up so that she can speak to him out of the window of her car.CATHERINE This last survivor of a dead race shit is getting old real fast!
(muttering)
Charles looks up.CATHERINE Hey! Einstein!
Catherine considers this for a moment.CHARLES Oh. Hello.CATHERINE What are you doing?CHARLES I’m lost.
Charles types something into his computer and waits a moment for the results.CATHERINE And you think playing Buddha in the middle of the road will help?CHARLES I’m trying to triangulate my position using the Global Positioning Satellite, but there’s too much static.
(taps laptop)CATHERINE I had heard that.CHARLES I was looking for a store when I –CATHERINE Shopping! Now, there’s something I know one or two things about. What do you need?
(brightens)CHARLES Oh, well...
Catherine holds up a hand.CHARLES (CONTINUING) Carbon tetrachloride...hydrogen sulfide...a tank or two of O2 –
(reading screen)
Catherine revs the engine, but stays when something occurs to her.CATHERINE You’re on your own.
INT. CLOTHING STORE – DAY Catherine stands outside a change booth in a posh men’s clothing store.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) Hey – you’re alive!CHARLES Hey – you’re alive.CATHERINE Let’s party!
Charles walks out of the booth wearing a smart tuxedo. Catherine eyes him appreciatively.CHARLES Is this really necessary?
(off)CATHERINE I know what you mean – I hate buying off the rack, too. But I don’t think we’ll find a tailor –CHARLES I meant the suit.
(off)CATHERINE You want to look your best for our first date, don’t you?
INT. BARBER SHOP – DAY Charles, safely wrapped in towels, sits in a chair, his face half covered in shaving cream. Catherine, straight razor in hand, is delicately shaving him. An elderly man in an apron lies dead on the floor near a broom; a younger man is slumped in one of the waiting chairs, also dead. The skin of both men is a ghastly grey.CHARLES First date? I never said –
(notices her look) What?CATHERINE Amazing, isn’t it, how a good suit can turn any man into a swan?CHARLES I’m not sure I like the implications of that.CATHERINE Best not to think about them, then.
(laughs gaily)
EXT. SHOPPING MALL – DAY The Lamborghini is parked by the front door. Catherine, on the sidewalk, speaks to Charles through the open window on his side of the car.CATHERINE So, how about those Giants?CHARLES I don’t think they’ll be winning any more games for an awfully long time.CATHERINE Pessimist.
(pause) So...Charles. Were you named after anybody?CHARLES Darwin.CATHERINE The monkey man?CHARLES My...parents thought it was terribly funny. What about you? Catherine the Great?CATHERINE Catherine the great...grandmother. In my day, the tradition was to name children after dead but still much loved relatives.CHARLES Your day?CATHERINE It’s true. I’m older than I look.CHARLES Funny. I’m younger than I look.CATHERINE Ooh! This relationship just keeps getting better!
INT. PERFUME COUNTER – DAY Catherine walks past the counter.CATHERINE If I’m not back in a couple of hours, send in the bloodhounds.CHARLES When will you help me find what I need?CATHERINE Honey, if tonight goes well, you’ll get everything you need!
EXT. SHOPPING MALL – DAY The sun is setting. Charles is working at his laptop. A couple of seconds pass.CATHERINE They work you too hard, here, you know?
(to dead woman)
Charles looks up. Catherine, standing next to the car, looks amazing in a very stylish evening gown.CATHERINE So, what do you think?
(off)
She rounds the car and gets in the driver’s side.CHARLES You, uhh, look...good.CATHERINE Good? Good! I look fucking amazing!
INT. CAR – NIGHT Charles continues to work on his laptop as Catherine drives.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) You really don’t get out much, do you?
Charles looks at the screen of his laptop for a couple of seconds.CATHERINE What’s so fascinating?CHARLES All those personal home pages – it’s like everybody hasn’t died.CATHERINE Everybody hasn’t died.
(pointed)CHARLES Want to hear what Billy Bautista’s ten favourite heavy metal songs are?CATHERINE Want me to throw your computer out the window?CHARLES Erm...CATHERINE Does that mention if he was masturbating to Pamela Lee Anderson videos when he died?CHARLES I hope you don’t mind my saying, but you’re awfully…outgoing for somebody your age.CATHERINE I used to be a serious person.CHARLES What happened?CATHERINE I was cured.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT The Lamborghini races past a dead HOMELESS MAN using a cardboard box for shelter. By his feet is a hat and a cardboard sign pleading for assistance. Near him is a dead middle-aged EXECUTIVE in a three piece suit. Both have grey skin. INT. CLUB (BOOTH) – NIGHT MUSIC: "Six Underground" by the Sneaker Pimps. Catherine and Charles sit in a booth, one half full glass and one completely empty glass in front of each of them. They have to shout to be heard.CHARLES Humanity – it never fails to amaze me.CATHERINE Humanity – it never failed to get in the way of having fun. Speaking of which – when we get to the club, you have to leave the computer in the car.CHARLES What? But –CATHERINE It’s not like anybody’s going to steal it...
SOUND: the music goes "snkt snkt."CATHERINE What do you do?CHARLES You could say that I owe my life to computers and genetics.CATHERINE Interesting combination.CHARLES You?CATHERINE Oh, I’ve done a lot of things in my time.(brief pause) Like every woman, I suppose.CHARLES What have you done most recently?CATHERINE I run a flower shop.
SOUND: the CD starts to skip, repeating the line, "I’m open to falling from grace."CHARLES Oh.CATHERINE Actually, a chain of flower shops.CHARLES I didn’t mean –
Catherine wriggles her way out of the booth. In front of the booth lies a dead waiter, skin grey, a tray with a couple of drinks dropped near his outstretched hand. INT. CLUB (DANCE FLOOR) – NIGHT The floor is littered with the corpses of several beautiful people in fancy dress, all reduced to an ashen grey pallour. Catherine daintily steps around them, slowly making her way to the DJ booth. INT. CLUB (DJ BOOTH) – NIGHT The DJ is slumped over a huge mixing board. Catherine walks into the booth.CATHERINE Actually, I own Fleurs du Mal.CHARLES I’ve heard of them. Big, aren’t they?
(whistles)CATHERINE We have over 600 shops in 27 countries. Excuse me.
Catherine goes over to a stack of CDs piled on an amp and starts to look through them. INT. CLUB (DANCE FLOOR) – NIGHT Catherine is making her way across the floor as Chris Isaak croons "They did a bad, bad thing." INT. CLUB (BOOTH) – NIGHT Catherine slides back into the booth. MUSIC: Isaak continues.CATHERINE Hey, Mister DJ! You’re sure falling down on the job!
(cheerful)
Charles gulps down the remainder of the his drink.CATHERINE The funny thing is, I used to be allergic to flowers.CHARLES Is the music really necessary?CATHERINE It’s an important part of the ambience.CHARLES Oh.
EXT. PARK BENCH – NIGHT Charles and Catherine are sitting on the bench eating hot dogs, a can of pop on the bench next to each of them. From where they are sitting, we can see the bodies of people who were doing various park things (ie: throwing a frisbee, pushing a baby carriage, jogging, etc.) when they died.CHARLES (CONTINUING) Why don’t we go someplace with a...quieter ambience?CATHERINE Sure.
(looks around) This place is dead.
Catherine nearly spits up part of her hot dog.CATHERINE What a magical evening.
(to herself)CHARLES Catherine, may I ask you a question?CATHERINE Certainly.CHARLES Would you love me if I were the last man on earth?
She looks at her hot dog, uncertain of whether she should take a bite out of it or throw up on it. After a moment, she grins and takes a big bite out of it. EXT. WATERFRONT – NIGHT Catherine and Charles stand on a pier, looking out over a body of water. In the background, we can see the Lamborghini. Lights from surrounding buildings are reflected in the gently lapping waves. A couple of bloated grey bodies float on the surface of the water.CATHERINE You...you don’t think...CHARLES Oh, no. Of course not.CATHERINE What...what do you think happened to everybody?CHARLES Hubris.CATHERINE What?CHARLES We thought we could control fire, but Prometheus didn’t steal a thermostat from the gods.CATHERINE I’m sorry, Charles, but I don’t –CHARLES In nameless laboratories in unspecified locations, scientists have been using our knowledge of DNA to create weapons. Viruses, mostly. Viruses specially targeted to kill human beings, but leave everything else intact. Virulent poisons. Nobody in their right mind would let such a weapon loose on the world. Unfortunately, accidents happen.CATHERINE Do you work in...in that kind of a lab?CHARLES No. But I know people who do. Family men, mostly. Give to charities. Go to church on Sundays. Totally insane, of course, but otherwise decent men, full of love for humanity.CATHERINE How...how could anybody survive?CHARLES You mean, how did you survive?CATHERINE You’re so direct.CHARLES Some people may have a genetic predisposition to resist the virus. Of course, this is all speculation.
(big breath)CATHERINE Of course...
Catherine turns to face him.CATHERINE I’ve always been drawn to the water.CHARLES You didn’t answer my question.
Catherine grimaces in pain.CATHERINE What question was that?CHARLES Would you love me if I was the last man on earth?CATHERINE Charles, I –
He moves to hold her as she doubles over in pain.CHARLES Catherine!
With a single deft motion, Catherine pulls Charles’ head to one side, exposing his throat. She bites into it. The fluid which pours from his throat is green. Catherine pulls back and spits his flesh out of her mouth, disgusted. They look at each other, uncertain.CHARLES (CONTINUING) Catherine! What’s wrong?CATHERINE I...I’m sorry...
(gasping)
He puts a hand on his wound to staunch the flow of green blood.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) What the fuck are you?CHARLES Oh, uhh, I’m an android. Should I have mentioned that earlier?
Catherine looks in her bag and comes up with a pair of napkins from the club.CATHERINE Should you have – damn right you should have mentioned it! It’s not nice to let a girl think she’s going out with a human being when you’re...you!CHARLES Sorry.CATHERINE How can you be an android? You’re so human!CHARLES I have a genetically developed, test-tube grown epidermis, my eyes were grown in a vat, my blood is based on seawater. Uhh, speaking of which, you wouldn’t happen to have a handkerchief or cloth or –
She hands the napkins to him.CATHERINE Here.
Charles holds the napkins to the wound in his neck, slowing the blood down to a trickle.CHARLES Thanks.
Charles looks at her not understanding.CHARLES (CONTINUING) Why did you bite me?CATHERINE I’m hungry.
(shrugs)CHARLES People don’t eat each other when they’re hungry.CATHERINE I’m one of the undead.
Catherine smiles, then bursts out laughing.CATHERINE (CONTINUING) You know – a vampire?CHARLES But vampires aren’t real. They’re a literary device.CATHERINE A literary device?
(considers) I’ve been called worse.CHARLES Well, it seems neither of us have been exactly honest.
Catherine looks at him in disbelief for a moment. Then, she doubles over in pain. Charles puts an arm around her shoulder and, gently leaning on each other for support, they unsteadily walk up the pier towards the car. FADE TO BLACK The end of Forever Live and Die: "Where There’s Life..."CHARLES (CONTINUING) Why are you laughing?CATHERINE A vampire and an android – not exactly Adam and Eve.CHARLES I fail to see the humour.CATHERINE Do you see humour in anything?CHARLES No. I wasn’t programmed to appreciate humour.CATHERINE Soon, you’ll die of your wound. The pain from my hunger will not go away – eventually, it’ll get so unbearable that I’ll kill myself – permanently. Some future!
(laughing harder)CHARLES
Not necessarily.CATHERINE No?CHARLES If I can make it back to the lab, I can probably sew up my wound.CATHERINE Good for you. What about my little prob –
(gasps) Problem?CHARLES We grow human limbs back at the lab. They weren’t touched by the virus – they’re kept in an airtight, sterile environment. There’s probably enough blood there to keep you going until I can learn how to clone whole human beings.CATHERINE That’s – no. No way. It won’t work.CHARLES You know what they say.
(shrugs)CATHERINE What?CHARLES Where there’s life, there’s hope.
