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Chapter 5
March 28, 2010
Headline for the Beverly Hills!
Not Exactly "Dewey Wins!" But These Are Times Of Diminished Expectations
Echoes Of Three Months Ago
Are You At All Familiar With The Concept Of"Self-fulfilling Prophecy?"
Let The Let Thes Begin
Oh! Cars Was What They Were Selling! I Thought - Never Mind What I Thought!
Use of women at trade shows to promote cars is a fixture once again"
Or, We Could Emphasize Business Not Cutting Jobs
The harder we work, the less rich we seem to be. We need to emphasize education, innovation and trade to break free"
What A (Ray) Kroc!
Now, There's A Place McDonald's Could Really Grow Into
Keep Your Husband Away From The Good Rug
So, When Israel Punishes An Entire Palestinian Population, Canada Is Guilty Of War Crimes?
Because People Don't Kill People, Bar Codes Do
Canada Doesn't Want To Think About PM's "Hard Power"
La La La La La La La
You Can't Make Me
La La La La La La La La La La
Might I Suggest Soldiers Take Remedial Civics Classes?
Soldiers oust President in bloody attack, promise 'democracy and good governance'"
Because He's Not Young...Or Bald...
Business, Public Tell Ottawa: You're The Ones Who Want The Olympics To Be A Political Prop...
Let's Let The Headlines Fight Among Themselves As We Return To Our Lives
Outgoing COC boss Rudge defends ambitious performance goals placed on Canada's athletes"
Cabinet Needs A Good Laugh
If It Had Been A Depression, They Would Have Risen 25 Per Cent
You Know A War Is In Trouble When Even The Headlines Get Snarky
Boy, Are They Talking To The Wrong Politician!
Our Accountants Can Skate Around Figures With The Best Of Them!
Boy, Are They Expecting The Wrong Police Force!
Poverty, women's health top agenda for activists before G8, G20 summits"
Gabon's? Because, In Case You Hadn't Noticed, All The Polish In The World Hasn't Helped Canada's Lately
Allegation that Canadian helped Gabon's leader side-step anti-corruption laws could tarnish country's reputation"
So, Obviously, They Must Stop Doing It
That's How Many Circles Now?
That's What The New Telecom Ownership Rules Are For
No threat to cultural sovereignty"
Prime Minister Considering Excommunication
Trimming across the board the 'cowards approach': economist"
It's A Golden-throated Rhino Warbler
Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!
If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys in the Archive Section, as well as three new Alternate Reality News Stories every third week in the New Section. They are clearly marked [ARNS] for easy identification. And, please feel to browse through the other writing, cartoons and miscellaneous oddments - you never know what you might enjoy!
You may already be a winner? Well, actually...
It is with great pleasure that I can announce that I have taken first prize in the Swift Satire Writing Competition. This was for a poem called "Love Amid the Construction. The official announcement can be found here. Details of the contest, including, at some point soon, my winning entry, can be found here. What can I say?
WHOOT WHOOT WHOOT!
Do Not Adjust Your Eyes
The Weight of Information: Episode One: The Realities Leak is now available on YouTube! This pilot for a radio series is based on stories out of the two Alternate Reality News Service Books, Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys (or, as one online used bookstore has it, What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children - don't ask). Click on this link to listen to Part One and this link to listen to Part Two. Interdimensional travel has never been so...multidimensional!
You May Already Be A Winner Redux
The Alternate Reality News Service, in conjunction with the Grasping for the Wind Web site, is running a contest! The readers who submit the best questions to either of the Alternate Reality News Service columns (which, regular readers will remember, are Ask Amritsar and Ask the Tech Answer Guy) will win free autographed copies of What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys (or, as one online discount bookseller has it listed, What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children - don't ask). Click on the link for the rules. Enter now, enter often!Ira Speaks!
Sal Monaco, the Oracle of Enlightenment who now does interviews at Think Twice Radio, conducted an interview with me at Polaris 24. Don't think twice: go to Sal Monaco's Think Twice Radio Web page and give it a listen!
The Alternate Reality News Service Grows Up
Have you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes at the Alternate Reality News Service? Of course you didn't! But, now that the question has been raised, it sounds intriguing, no? Okay, probably not. Still, here's the thing: there is now a Facebook group called The Alternate Reality News Service Cafe. If you go there, you will automatically receive a tri-weekly newsletter full of exclusive information. It is also a place where you can contribute to the Alternate Reality News Service and even, perhaps, work your way up the ARNS ladder until you are given a journalistic beat all for yourself. Doesn't that sound exciting?
Don't answer that.
Would you be interested in immortality?
As you may have noticed, there is a weekly feature on Les Pages aux Folles called The Daily Me. Each article in this feature is a collection of bits and pieces of interest to a different person. I probably won't be shocking any of my readers when I say that, to date, I have made the persons up. (If you are shocked, I hear the Girls With Eyepatches site is nice this time of year...) Well, a future Daily Me could feature...you!
Simply send me an email with your name and the names of three or four publications you regularly read and three or four issues/subjects in which you have an interest. Then, let me digest them and, two or three weeks later, The Daily Me could be The Daily You! Your name will appear in my writing...forever! No complicated creams! No messy cryogenic devices! Immortality has never been easier! What are you waiting for?