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Chapter 9
April 25, 2010
Headlines are Still Waiting for the Peace Dividend
He'll Need More Than A Compliant Media When He Takes Berlin With His Celeb Tactics
They Win Conservatives Votes Just Fine
What If They Involve Yogurt?
Mmm...Dinner...Dinner Jacket - Tough Call
Supercalafridg - Uhh, Supercabala - Supercalafraga - Supercalafornia - Oh, Dammit! Are You Sure?
Obviously, The Country Is Moving Very Slowly...
As US Congress ramps up pressure, envoy to visit Washington in effort to open dialogue"
Who Would Be Dumb Enough To Eat A Hockey - Oh
Who Is This Imposter And What Have You Done With The Former Fed Chairman?
Well, You Wouldn't Want The Batch To Go Stale, Would You?
House voted to end the practice of ten-per-centers but motion has not been acted upon"
The Preferred Term Is "Compassion Challenged"
It's Not That We're Not Grateful That You Saved Us From Ourselves, But...
Because, These Days, It's Okay To Talk About It Openly
Hey! - This Might Just Work Out...For Them...Again...
Shareholder says he's not finished"
Say-on-pay voters decline to give firms a thumping on the issue"
Pity - Lots Of Pity
Never Grow Up!
Sure It Dogrrblex Verblenjenhissenses - DAMMIT!
What Would Be The Point If It Didn't?
Just Don't Ask How She Gets It Into Her
They're Not Eating...With Extreme Prejudice!
Violent Caucasus and the iron fast"
Atlas Complains World Stealing His Gig
Answering That Question Is The Subject Of My Next Book
And, He Still Made More Than 95 Per Cent Of People On The Planet
When, With A Majority, He Doesn't Have To Care What Anybody Thinks?
Headline Ranks High On Low Comprehensibility Scale
History Plans To Fake Left, Duck Right
Presidential aide resigns to make run at history"
Stupidity Also Played A Major Role
Eww! Cannibals!
Industry CEO Two Years Too Late
But, Of Course, He Denies It Completely
Especially When They're In Your Great Big Sea
You Come Out With A New Spleen
And, How Has That Worked For Them?
And, How Is That Working Out For Them?
Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!
If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys in the Archive Section, as well as three new Alternate Reality News Stories every third week in the New Section. They are clearly marked [ARNS] for easy identification. And, please feel to browse through the other writing, cartoons and miscellaneous oddments - you never know what you might enjoy!
You may already be a winner? Well, actually...
It is with great pleasure that I can announce that I have taken first prize in the Swift Satire Writing Competition. This was for a poem called "Love Amid the Construction. The official announcement can be found here. Details of the contest, including, at some point soon, my winning entry, can be found here. What can I say?
WHOOT WHOOT WHOOT!
Do Not Adjust Your Eyes
The Weight of Information: Episode One: The Realities Leak is now available on YouTube! This pilot for a radio series is based on stories out of the two Alternate Reality News Service Books, Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys (or, as one online used bookstore has it, What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children - don't ask). Click on this link to listen to Part One and this link to listen to Part Two. Interdimensional travel has never been so...multidimensional!
You May Already Be A Winner Redux
The Alternate Reality News Service, in conjunction with the Grasping for the Wind Web site, is running a contest! The readers who submit the best questions to either of the Alternate Reality News Service columns (which, regular readers will remember, are Ask Amritsar and Ask the Tech Answer Guy) will win free autographed copies of What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys (or, as one online discount bookseller has it listed, What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children - don't ask). Click on the link for the rules. Enter now, enter often!Ira Speaks!
Sal Monaco, the Oracle of Enlightenment who now does interviews at Think Twice Radio, conducted an interview with me at Polaris 24. Don't think twice: go to Sal Monaco's Think Twice Radio Web page and give it a listen!
The Alternate Reality News Service Grows Up
Have you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes at the Alternate Reality News Service? Of course you didn't! But, now that the question has been raised, it sounds intriguing, no? Okay, probably not. Still, here's the thing: there is now a Facebook group called The Alternate Reality News Service Cafe. If you go there, you will automatically receive a tri-weekly newsletter full of exclusive information. It is also a place where you can contribute to the Alternate Reality News Service and even, perhaps, work your way up the ARNS ladder until you are given a journalistic beat all for yourself. Doesn't that sound exciting?
Don't answer that.
Would you be interested in immortality?
As you may have noticed, there is a weekly feature on Les Pages aux Folles called The Daily Me. Each article in this feature is a collection of bits and pieces of interest to a different person. I probably won't be shocking any of my readers when I say that, to date, I have made the persons up. (If you are shocked, I hear the Girls With Eyepatches site is nice this time of year...) Well, a future Daily Me could feature...you!
Simply send me an email with your name and the names of three or four publications you regularly read and three or four issues/subjects in which you have an interest. Then, let me digest them and, two or three weeks later, The Daily Me could be The Daily You! Your name will appear in my writing...forever! No complicated creams! No messy cryogenic devices! Immortality has never been easier! What are you waiting for?