Les Pages aux Folles
| Home | New | Archives | Additional Fiction | Non-fiction | About | Store |
| Les Pages aux Folles |
| My Toronto |
| Delicate Negotiations |
Chapter 11
May 9, 2010
Traveling Hopefully
Traveling Hopefully
When the plane landed, the passengers broke out in applause. I had never experienced this before, but when I recounted it to somebody on the ground, I was told that it happens all the time.
This was my introduction to St. John's, Newfoundland.
While we were waiting for the ramp to open to let us off the plane, the stewardess made a joke about stepping on frogs in heaven. It didn't sound like heaven for the frogs, but I must admit that I don't always appreciate the humour of Newfoundlanders.
Then, she added: "Enjoy the Junos." But, I...I wasn't in St. John's for the Juno Awards. I was there for the Sci Fi on the Rock convention (which happened to have been scheduled on the same weekend). That was the moment I realized where science fiction rates on the nation's cultural scale: below 12 year-olds with fat cheeks and fatter recording contracts and 52 year-olds with big hair.
It was a humbling trip, really.
Picture this: four black haired men of average height in non-descript black suits wearing dark sunglasses indoors. They may as well be clones. Two of them hold signs on which have been printed: "Warner Music." Then, a man and a woman in normal dress (ie: with colours) stand holding a sign on which has been hand-written: "Ira Nayman." On their other side were the two other clones with matching Warner Music signs.
This was my introduction to St. John's, Newfoundlanders. They really are adorable.
Arriving
Traveling Hopefully
Man plans, god sends weather.
I left St. John's on Monday. Ash from the Icelandic volcano didn't quite reach this far north, but all of the morning flights had been cancelled because of...fog. Now, I had seen fog in Toronto, so I thought I knew fog. However, nothing I had ever seen had prepared me for...this...
I was booked on a plane that had come from Toronto and was supposed to take us on and go back to Toronto. About half an hour before we were supposed to board, we were told that the plane couldn't land in the fog, and we would have to wait to see what would happen. I won't kid you. People made phone calls. People played computer games. People caught up on their sleep. Oh, the humanity! When, about 45 minutes late, the fog lifted for just long enough to allow the plane to land, everybody in the terminal cheered and applauded.
I may never understand Newfoundland.
Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!
If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys in the Archive Section, as well as three new Alternate Reality News Stories every third week in the New Section. They are clearly marked [ARNS] for easy identification. And, please feel to browse through the other writing, cartoons and miscellaneous oddments - you never know what you might enjoy!
You may already be a winner? Well, actually...
It is with great pleasure that I can announce that I have taken first prize in the Swift Satire Writing Competition. This was for a poem called "Love Amid the Construction. The official announcement can be found here. Details of the contest, including, at some point soon, my winning entry, can be found here. What can I say?
WHOOT WHOOT WHOOT!
Do Not Adjust Your Eyes
The Weight of Information: Episode One: The Realities Leak is now available on YouTube! This pilot for a radio series is based on stories out of the two Alternate Reality News Service Books, Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys (or, as one online used bookstore has it, What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children - don't ask). Click on this link to listen to Part One and this link to listen to Part Two. Interdimensional travel has never been so...multidimensional!
You May Already Be A Winner Redux
The Alternate Reality News Service, in conjunction with the Grasping for the Wind Web site, is running a contest! The readers who submit the best questions to either of the Alternate Reality News Service columns (which, regular readers will remember, are Ask Amritsar and Ask the Tech Answer Guy) will win free autographed copies of What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys (or, as one online discount bookseller has it listed, What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children - don't ask). Click on the link for the rules. Enter now, enter often!Ira Speaks!
Sal Monaco, the Oracle of Enlightenment who now does interviews at Think Twice Radio, conducted an interview with me at Polaris 24. Don't think twice: go to Sal Monaco's Think Twice Radio Web page and give it a listen!
The Alternate Reality News Service Grows Up
Have you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes at the Alternate Reality News Service? Of course you didn't! But, now that the question has been raised, it sounds intriguing, no? Okay, probably not. Still, here's the thing: there is now a Facebook group called The Alternate Reality News Service Cafe. If you go there, you will automatically receive a tri-weekly newsletter full of exclusive information. It is also a place where you can contribute to the Alternate Reality News Service and even, perhaps, work your way up the ARNS ladder until you are given a journalistic beat all for yourself. Doesn't that sound exciting?
Don't answer that.
Would you be interested in immortality?
As you may have noticed, there is a weekly feature on Les Pages aux Folles called The Daily Me. Each article in this feature is a collection of bits and pieces of interest to a different person. I probably won't be shocking any of my readers when I say that, to date, I have made the persons up. (If you are shocked, I hear the Girls With Eyepatches site is nice this time of year...) Well, a future Daily Me could feature...you!
Simply send me an email with your name and the names of three or four publications you regularly read and three or four issues/subjects in which you have an interest. Then, let me digest them and, two or three weeks later, The Daily Me could be The Daily You! Your name will appear in my writing...forever! No complicated creams! No messy cryogenic devices! Immortality has never been easier! What are you waiting for?