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Chapter 7
March 12, 2017

Who Are You to Tell Headlines Not to Take it Personally?

You Mean, It's Not All Ice Cream And Ponies?
Does The Minister For Privacy And Carnival Rides Know About This?

"Erosion of privacy has a dark side" - Toronto Star

Sure, But You Also Think Tax Cuts Could Cure Cancer, Make Children More Respectful Towards Their Parents And Help You Get Better Television Reception...

"To lure tech talent, Quebec should cut taxes" - Globe and Mail

Depends On How Many Zeroes It Contains

Affleck says he'll drop Dark Knight if script sucks" - Toronto Sun

Put A Stake Through Their Ratings?

"What to do with 'zombie' channels" - Globe and Mail

The Next Four Years Will Certainly Tax Pundits' Agility

"Trudeau well-placed to deal with Trump" - Toronto Star

"The next four years will tax Trudeau's agility" - Toronto Star

The Glow Of Chernobyl Is Especially Spectacular At Night

"Uranium slump is far from over but analysts say glowing future still likely" - Globe and Mail

Sure...How Much Are They Willing To Pay For The Service?

"It's not easy having green
Spare a poor moment for the poor CEOs" - Toronto Sun

Looks Like They Didn't Coin Off More Than They Could Chew

"Bitcoin hits highest in nearly three years" - Globe and Mail

The Hardest Part Is Avoiding The Revulsion Of Having Trump In Your Mind

"Investing with Trump in mind not as easy as it looks" - Globe and Mail

Can't He Just Force Choke Everybody And Leave?

"Vader lawyers appeal in manslaughter case" - Toronto Star

But, I'm Sure They Will Be Very Affective

"After women's marches, the tougher steps will be effecting change" - Globe and Mail

A Case Study In Following Social Trends Through Headlines

"Probe into fatal crash doesn't prompt a recall
Regulators found Autopilot had no defects, but criticized marketing" - Toronto Star

"Honda to recall U. S. Odyssey minivans" - Globe and Mail

"A case study in 'how not to do a recall'" - Toronto Star

"Samsung recalls U. S. washing machines" - Globe and Mail

"Samsung Recall Dismays Koreans" - New York Times

"McDonald's recalls Happy Meal bands" - Toronto Star

"Note 7 phone recalled after battery fires
Samsung device involved in at least 35 incidents" - Toronto Star

"Safety recall issued on 7,143 GM vehicles" - Globe and Mail

"Ford recalls more than 88,000 vehicles" - Globe and Mail

"BMW recalling 154,472 vehicles" - Globe and Mail

"Faulty airbags affect 652,000 cars in the U.S." - Toronto Star

"Mazda to recall 2.3 million vehicles" - Globe and Mail

"2.5 million phones recalled" - Globe and Mail

So, They Should Be Liberals?

"Conservatives need a moderate, humane agenda" - Globe and Mail

SPOILER: It Will Only Get Two Stars - Two And A Half If The Reviewer Is Being Generous

"Province vows a review of mercury tainted soil tests" - Toronto Star

My Wish After The Inauguration: The US Isn't A Smoking Hole In The Ground Four Years From Now

"My wish after the inauguration: an education president" - Globe and Mail

A Standard That The Company Itself Had Set, But Still...

"Advocates pen open letter to McDonald's
Fast food giant says it's being held to an 'unreasonable' standard following its announcement that all menu items may contain nuts" - Globe and Mail

Makes A Nice Change From All Those Alien-made Currency Crises

"India's Man-Made Currency Crisis" - New York Times

Just Because They Haven't Bombed Us So Far Doesn't Mean They Don't Already Think That Way

"Trudeau's challenge is making Trump realize our oil is their oil" - Globe and Mail

So...Short Fruit Futures?

"New fee-disclosure rules may hinder apple-to-apples comparisons" - Globe and Mail

Sounds Like Somebody Needs An App That READS Newspapers

"Couple should be smarter than their smartphone" - Toronto Sun

I'm Investing Heavily In Mattresses

"NAFTA: What Canada could gain from renegotiation" - Globe and Mail

"Uncertainty over Trump is toxic for Canadian business investment" - Globe and Mail

Will You People Make Up Your Minds Already?!

"Good times to keep rolling for auto industry, report says" - Toronto Star

"NAFTA repeal would gut U.S. auto jobs, think tank says" - Globe and Mail

Like The Country's Move To Democracy

"Russian Smoking Ban to Start Slowly" - New York Times

He Wanted To Get Away From Obsessive Fans Like You

"Why was the PM's vacation a secret? - Globe and Mail

And, I Thought Hiding It There Would Be Hard Enough Without Attacking It

"Man who stole gold, hit it in his rectum, gets prison term" - Toronto Star

Only If I Need To Break A Twenty

"Can Peel's police chief be an agent of change?" - Globe and Mail

If The Industry Fails, What Will They Train Their Dingoes With?

"Newspaper Slump Vexes Australians" - New York Times

Which One?

"United States' Credibility Imperiled by President" - New York Times

Appropriate Position
Now, Where Did I Put That Lance...?

"Nigel Farage hired by Fox News as a political analcyst - BBC News Web site

That's Not What The Batshit Crazy Investing Web Site Tells Me To Do

"The Lynch approach: Buy what makes sense" - Globe and Mail

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