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Chapter 22
June 25, 2017

The Trouble With Marty

@asshat27: That's when I said: listen, bitch, the fork and knife go on the RIGHT and the soup spoon goes on the LEFT!

@asshat156: ha! ha! Good one!

@stansrighthand: yeah. Good one!

@NiNjAsSaSiN: How did you know?

@asshat27: what do you mean? she always put thecutlery in the wrong place. drove me nuts!

@NiNjAsSaSiN: No, I mean how did you know the right place to put the knife and fork?

@asshat27: teh internets - duh!

@asshat156: yeah duh!

@stansrighthand: you ok, Ninja?

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Sure.

@asshat27: stan's right - gotta hand him that. you been actin funny all week. what the hell, Ninj?

@NiNjAsSaSiN: You guys - you won't understand.

@asshat27: what? Its not like we're yur wife or nothing!

@asshat156: HA! another good one!

@stansrighthand: yeah yeah yeah! ZING!

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Okay. I don't know if this is such a good idea, but...last week, I watched Ghostbusters.

@asshat27: yeah? so? Great movie

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Not the original. The...remake.

@asshat27: YOU WHUUUUUUUTTTTT?

@asshat156: what the hell, man?!!!!!

@asshat27: Why would you watch that peice of shit?

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Actually, it wasn't that bad.

@asshat27: PIECE. Of. SHIiT!

@asshat156: yeah. Terriblle movie.

@stansrighthand: horrible peace of shit doesnt do it justice

@stansrighthand: really horrivle piece of shiit! with exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!

@NiNjAsSaSiN: It wasn't that bad.

@asshat27: how can u say that about THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE IN TH EHISTORY OF EVER?!!!!!!!!!

@NiNjAsSaSiN: I've actually seen it.

@asshat27: what does that have to do with anything?

@NiNjAsSaSiN: None of you have seen it.

@asshat27: we didnt have to see it to know it was a piece of shit! it didn't have Bill Mjurray or Dan Ackroyd in it - IT STARED GIRLS!

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Actually, Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd were both in it.

@asshat27: dont be an asshat. u know what I mean

@asshat156: sacrilege, man. Just the idea totaly ruined my childhood!

@asshat27: not only did it ruin my childhood, IT RUINED ALL OF MY CHOLDHOODS IN ALL OF MY LIVES GOING BACK TO ANCIENT EGYPT!

@asshat27: I didn't HAVE to see it to know that it was a PEECE OF SHIT!

@stansrighthand: u ok, man?

@asshat27: aside from a bowt of righteous anger? couldnt be better

@stansrighthand: i meant Marty.

@asshat27: WHOA! WHAT HAVE AI TOLD YOU ABOUT USING OUR REAL NAMES?

@stansrighthand: right. Sorry. I meant Ninja

@asshat27: anonymity is the glue that holds us together and makes us strong!

@asshat27: if we use our real names, were just a bunch of angry assholes saying asshole things to each other!

@asshat27: How many times I gotta tell you that?

@stansrighthand: Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

@asshat27: Okay, then. So, Marty, WTF, man?

@asshat156: yeah, wtf, man. wt the effin f?

@asshat27: okay, 156. he gets it.

@NiNjAsSaSiN: I'm just saying the movie had some funny moments. That's all.

@asshat27: no

@NiNjAsSaSiN: What do you mean? You can't just say no like that.

@asshat156: he hee - he just did, bro.

@asshat27: if we allow an all girl Ghostbusters, what's next? An all girl Rocky? The Magnificent seven? The Dirty dozen? Alien?

@asshat27: a line has to be drawn, ninj. a line has to be drawn.

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Okay. First, Alien had a female lead.

@asshat156: no it didn't! You take that back!

@NiNjAsSaSiN: *sigh* Second, maybe having a female lead isn't such a bad thing. Women can kick ass, you know.

@asshat27: oh, yeah? Well, I got two words for you: Star freakin Warz!

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Which proves my point, but you wouldn't know because you haven't seen it, either.

@asshat27: Whut part of boycot do you not understand?

@NiNjAsSaSiN: For another thing: there were plenty of male characters in Star Wars.

@asshat27: Ninj, I gotta be honest - yur starting 2 worry me

@NiNjAsSaSiN: I'm worrying you? Seriously?

@asshat27: I dunno - you used 2b so reasonable. But now...

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Aww, come on, 27! How long we known each other?

@asshat27: I dunno...sixc, maybe 7 months?

@NiNjAsSaSiN: That's almost like forever in interwebz time!

@asshat27: what duz that have 2 do with anything?

@NiNjAsSaSiN: It seems to me that we've known each other long enough that you should, I don't know, be able to trust me?

@asshat27: trust? I've heard that word before, but I dont know what it means

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Seriously?

@asshat27: I don't like where this iz going. can we drop and talk about, I dont know, beer or something?

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Sure, 27. Sure.

@NiNjAsSaSiN: Soooooo...I guess you probably don't want to know what I thought of Wonder Woman?

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If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be, +

Welcome Back My Friednishes To The Show That Never Ednishes

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The Alternate Reality News Service (ARNS) has two advice columns: Ask Amritsar, a column about love and sex and technology, and; Ask the Tech Answer Guy, a column about +