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Book Eight [Daily Me]
Book Nine
Book Ten [ARNS]
Book Eleven [Daily Me]
Book Twelve
Book Thirteen [Daily Me]
Book Fourteen
Book Fifteen [ARNS]
Book Sixteen [Daily Me]
Book Seventeen
Book Eighteen [ARNS]
Book Nineteen [Daily Me]
Book Twenty
Book Twenty-one [ARNS General]
Book Twenty-two [ARNS Advice]
Book Twenty-three (Daily Me)
Book Twenty-four
Book Twenty-five [ARNS Advice]
Book Twenty-six (Daily Me)
Book Twenty-seven
Book Twenty-eight [ARNS]
My Toronto
My Toronto, Book 2
Delicate Negotiations, Round 1
Delicate Negotiations, Round 2
Delicate Negotiations, Round 3
Delicate Negotiations, Round 4
Delicate Negotiations, Round 5
Blackout Funnies
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Chapter 1: Act One

  • Open casting call for a remake of The Birds
  • The Phantom Mall
  • Timmy's Snow Defense Initiative
  • Where did Peter get the mushrooms?
  • Beautifying the city street
  • The Fuck Machines Web site
  • Allysin's overprotective mother
  • Happy families and Happy Family Restaurants
  • Michelle liked to have spares handy
  • Martin would have to give his children the talk
  • Arnold was by no means irony impaired, but...
  • The Disney Dilemma
  • The tree had more shelter than they did
  • The Province's topless laws
  • Frosty knew he was out of his depth
  • The vagaries of artistic inspiration
  • American Imperialism
  • Snoball's Chance at infinity to one
  • Dominoes of the gods
  • Marina never got the whole eagle thing
  • Miles didn't believe Professor Delorey
  • The dire consequences of not staying in school
  • Funny Guy
  • Derek Improvises
  • Even pigeons need practice
  • Chapter 2: Act Two

  • Attila tests the oil in the pots
  • You have a dirty mind
  • Don't mind me, officer. I...just...tripped.
  • You don't have to believe in Area 51 to be paranoid
  • Rubik's cartoon
  • D'uh, I coulda taken 'im.
  • Niall thought it absurd
  • Spot the flaw in the design
  • Minnie could never figure out why
  • Morton felt kind of chagrined
  • Am I ready for my first gallery showing yet?
  • Talk about going medieval on pigeon's asses!
  • Hockey fans aren't born
  • Sometimes, even god needs help getting oriented.
  • You're in the cage, now, baby!
  • The only thing missing is Joe Gillis
  • Why did the kite eating tree become extinct?
  • Eat Your Heart Out, Wim Wenders!
  • Hope springs eternal...
  • Go to the light! Go to the light!
  • Marcie would not allow Clark Kent to babysit her children ever again
  • Maggie's on the grate, sick, but she wanted me to keep our routine
  • Snakes know regret
  • Cavotti Expedition, Day 12
  • Chapter 3: Act Three

  • Eat your heart out, Leni Riefenstahl!
  • It worked for Jimmy Hoffa
  • Chad, Biff and Mason didn't notice the shadow
  • It was a cold, cruel world for a clump of grassy sod
  • Randy had never questioned Pastor Fabrizzio's judgment before
  • And on the eighth day, god created amusement park rides
  • Even the roadkill wore body armour
  • Why can't we all just learn to get along?
  • The Conservative Party couldn't help but out itself
  • What are we teaching the children?!
  • Electric power to the people!
  • "I hope you understand that this in no way implies a commitment..."
  • A fate too absurd to bear
  • The classic Hollywood image
  • Ceci n'est pas les pipes.
  • If we're so smart, what are we doing in shiny plastic boxes?
  • Either way, he'll have more room in the basement
  • They could have stopped Zardoz from happening
  • Rex, who fancied himself something of a sportsman...
  • Streetcars only move trunk to tail in the city
  • Irony has a sweet tooth
  • Mothduh
  • Urb@n Living
  • Why would anybody want this complexion?
  • We'll be watching you...
  • Chapter 4: Act Four

  • Guys? ... Guys?
  • More Schumpeter than Derrida
  • Just then, his back gave out
  • Sometimes, even the Buddha finds astral projection a pain in the ass.
  • You can't beat that asking price!
  • Deeply concerned
  • Reggie just couldn't escape post-modern culture
  • Unlike other people who CLAIMED they had a temper...
  • The Next Advance in Urban Transport
  • Mark could have said he was sorry about the goldfish.
  • People tend to miss the sad melancholy
  • How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm
  • Not a common come-on for the homeless
  • The last one up the stairway to heaven
  • Some trees got no shame!
  • Florinda, the grand-niece of the Wicked Witch of the West
  • Marcel didn't have the chops
  • It was only a matter of time before she succumbed to the Expressionism
  • You don't reboot a computer with a sledge hammer
  • My heart miraculously started on the operating table
  • Well, d'uh!
  • CITY's self-stated mission was getting a little creepy
  • A horizontal monkey skeleton with a white beard
  • Some questions have no answers
  • ATTENTION SHOPPERS
  • Jason could never understand why everybody wasn't on Prozac
  • Chapter 5: Act Five

  • Christo discouraged Junior from pursuing a career in the arts
  • When good architects go bad
  • Bixby knew there would be vehicles to poop on
  • Mr. Glasses-Eyes has the full range of human emotions
  • So help me, I'll knock him right off!
  • When cartoonists fall in love with their words
  • Golcondi
  • At the audition for the role of the Ents
  • The cart had fallen on hard times
  • The eternal philosophical conundrum
  • Tip of the hat to Francis C
  • After seven years of losses
  • Mooned by a lepidoptera
  • Quantum shopping
  • When they first met, Mark and Andrea were so in love...
  • Rover found it difficult to find work
  • His big brother could call it a Napoleon complex all he wanted
  • Vlad did not see it coming
  • This window display is rated PG-13
  • I bet Busbey Berkely never had to put up with this kind of shit!
  • Mannequins wouldn't be caught dead in neon blue slippers
  • Yeah, well, love to stay and chat, but...
  • FIASCOS IN CITY BRANDING, LESSON 237
  • Chapter 6: Epilogue

  • The show must go on.
  • Chapter 7: Bonus

  • "It wasn't until that moment that Ship truly understood Bruce Springsteen..."
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    Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!

    If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be, +

    Welcome Back My Friednishes To The Show That Never Ednishes

    I now have a Facebook author/fan/whatever you want to call it page: Ira Nayman's Thrishty Friednishes. Go, look around, like it if you feel so inclined and feel free to leave a comment. I have only just started it, so it may be a little sparse at the moment, but I will add content based on what people post they would like to see. Within reason.

    Would you be interested in immortality?

    The Alternate Reality News Service (ARNS) has two advice columns: Ask Amritsar, a column about love and sex and technology, and; Ask the Tech Answer Guy, a column about +