Logo: The Aardvark Was Here

Les Pages aux Folles

Home New Archives Additional Fiction Non-fiction About Store
Book One
Book Two
Book Three
Book Four
Book Five
Book Six
Book Seven
Book Eight [Daily Me]
Book Nine
Book Ten [ARNS]
Book Eleven [Daily Me]
Book Twelve
Book Thirteen [Daily Me]
Book Fourteen
Book Fifteen [ARNS]
Book Sixteen [Daily Me]
Book Seventeen
Book Eighteen [ARNS]
Book Nineteen [Daily Me]
Book Twenty
Book Twenty-one [ARNS General]
Book Twenty-two [ARNS Advice]
Book Twenty-three (Daily Me)
Book Twenty-four
Book Twenty-five [ARNS Advice]
Book Twenty-six (Daily Me)
Book Twenty-seven
Book Twenty-eight [ARNS]
My Toronto
My Toronto, Book 2
Delicate Negotiations, Round 1
Delicate Negotiations, Round 2
Delicate Negotiations, Round 3
Delicate Negotiations, Round 4
Delicate Negotiations, Round 5
Blackout Funnies
Rocket Folles
Follesbook
ARNS Newsletter
Bookmark and Share

Chapter 10
Alternate Bonus

The Alternate Reality News Service’s Field Guide to Alien Species

The omniverse is a vast place, an infinity of infinities, with a wide variety of colourful life forms. Why, in the last week alone, Alternate Reality News Service reporters have encountered: a “smart” house that was nominated for a Nobel Prize for physics; a race of six foot tall mutant hamsters that powered a vast, peaceful galactic civilization by harnessing the exercise wheels in their sleeping quarters to batteries, and; a race of half donkey, half spider, all dictionary creatures that spun a web of terror across a dozen star systems.

And, then, there were the really strange life forms.

As part of their jobs, ARNS reporters are supposed to file detailed reports of all of the alien species they come across. These are kept in quantum computers built into the substrate of the omniverse (ARNS tech support rules!). Ordinarily, these files are not available to the public. However, in a bid to humanize our service after the Alpha Omega Interregnum Debacle, the Omicron Ceti Unpleasantness and the incredibly unfortunate Beta Oxbow Incident – as well as to stave off threatened government oversight – we have decided to make some of our files public.

What follows is a small selection of the types of life forms Alternate Reality News Service reporters have encountered in the past. They aren’t necessarily the most colourful life forms. They don’t necessarily have the most interesting histories. They certainly aren’t the prettiest. They’re the ones we deemed least likely to sue us if we revealed who they were.

Enjoy,
Alternate Reality News Service staff

| Share this!

Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!

If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be, +

Welcome Back My Friednishes To The Show That Never Ednishes

I now have a Facebook author/fan/whatever you want to call it page: Ira Nayman's Thrishty Friednishes. Go, look around, like it if you feel so inclined and feel free to leave a comment. I have only just started it, so it may be a little sparse at the moment, but I will add content based on what people post they would like to see. Within reason.

Would you be interested in immortality?

The Alternate Reality News Service (ARNS) has two advice columns: Ask Amritsar, a column about love and sex and technology, and; Ask the Tech Answer Guy, a column about +