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My Toronto
My Toronto, Book 2
Delicate Negotiations, Book 1
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Chapter 8
Alternate Lives

Lives Unlived - Ronald Winston Smith Reagan

Army brat, peace activist, economist, father, husband. Born December 25, 2058 in Reaganville, North Dakota. Died December 25, 2099 in New Reagan, New Reagan, at the age of 41, under suspicious circumstances.

Most of us, perhaps, are victims of our lives, but, once in a while, you find somebody who transcends his circumstances to live a life you could not have predicted. Ronald Winston (Ron Winnie) Smith Reagan was one of them.

When Ron Winnie was growing up, his family moved from army base to army base as his father, a military dentist, was transferred hither and yon. Fort Reagan, Texas, Fort Reagan, Alabama, The Reagan Institute for Military Strategy - Ron Winnie lived in all of them, and many others. But, where most of the children he met would turn to drinking or violent behaviour to cope with the emptiness of their lives, Ron Winnie became an avid reader.

I met him when we were both undergraduates at the New School for Ronald Reagan Research. Ron Winnie would go on to get a degree in philosophy; I remember long talks into the night about how the intellectual belief in the equality of all persons seemed to clash with our emotional need to believe in superior beings. It didn't take me long to realize that Ron Winnie was one of the truly good people, and the day he proposed marriage to me was the happiest of my life.

Although he would always have a fondness for philosophy, Ron Winnie was eager to study something that could have a more immediate impact on the world. He went to Ronald Reagan College (what was once, I believe, called Harvard) to get an MBA, then to the London School of Economics for a PhD in economics.

Living outside the United States of Reagan really changed Ron Winnie. We all knew that there was a world that didn't worship one man the way we did, but it was something else to actually spend time in that world. Just meeting people who - incredibly! - had never heard of Ronald Reagan really opened Ron Winnie's eyes to possibilities that had not been possible while we lived in the USR.

When we returned home, Ron Winnie took up a teaching position at Ronald Reagan College (or, could it have been Stamford?). He was, by all accounts, a good teacher who instilled a sense of economic and social justice in his students. However, his passion had turned towards issues of peace and international relations.

When the Strategic Defence Thingie, our space-based laser system, went haywire and destroyed half of Ottawa, including the Parliament buildings, the Prime Minister, the Deputy Prime Minister and most of the government, Ron Winnie led the protests against it. When, to cover its mistake, the USR declared Canada a hostile nation and, in the absence of its government, invaded the country, Ron Winnie was beside himself. He traveled frequently to Reaganville, DC to protest the unprovoked attack, and even spent some time at United Nations headquarters in New Reagan, New Reagan to see if the organization could do something to stop the senseless military adventure.

Ron Willie's advocacy on behalf of Canada made him many enemies, both within the government and within the academy. We would often come home to obscene messages in our voice mail - and, these were just from other faculty members! To his credit, Ron Winnie ignored these ominous threats and continued with his work.

Soon after Ron Winnie was denied tenure, he disappeared. His critics said he must have killed himself in despair over his stalled academic career, but I knew better: he had all but given up on it to devote as much of his time as he could on the peace movement. Just the afternoon before he disappeared, he was talking about putting together a flash mob to protest the annexation of Canada to the USR. When a jogger found his body in Central Reagan Park a few days later, I knew it couldn't be suicide.

I just know it.

Sometimes, when he was paying for a meal or a package of freedom smokes, Ron Winnie would look at the wrinkled old face on the bills and shake his head sadly. The last words he ever said to me were: "Ronnie Margaret, who exactly was Ronald Reagan, and why is he so damn important?" I wish had an answer for him.

Ronnie Margaret Milsop Reagan

Ronnie Margaret Milsop Reagan was Ronald Winston Smith Reagan's devoted wife.

Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!

If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys in the Archive Section, as well as three new Alternate Reality News Stories every third week in the New Section. They are clearly marked [ARNS] for easy identification. And, please feel to browse through the other writing, cartoons and miscellaneous oddments - you never know what you might enjoy!

You may already be a winner? Well, actually...

It is with great pleasure that I can announce that I have taken first prize in the Swift Satire Writing Competition. This was for a poem called "Love Amid the Construction. The official announcement can be found here. Details of the contest, including, at some point soon, my winning entry, can be found here. What can I say?

WHOOT WHOOT WHOOT!

The Universe Is Leaking!

Okay, now that I have your attention... Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be, the first Alternate Reality News Service book, has just been given a five star review by the Web site Science Fiction and Fantasy. Yes, that is out of five stars, smartass. Be sure to check it out!

July Appearances

It was touch and go there for a while, but it would appear that I will have (half) a table at this year's (full) Polaris/Trek Con. So, if you're in Toronto and you don't have anything going on from July 16 to 18 (because, let's face it, this city is dead in the summer), drop by and say hi.

I will be giving a lecture on the promise of fame and fortune that the Internet has held out for poor slobs like me called "You, Too, Can Be Famous" at Gallery 1313 on July 21. (HINT: the idea may have been a little oversold.) If you have ever wanted to see me give a talk that wasn't about science fiction (be still your beating heart!), drop by. Festivities begin at 7:30. Debate begins at 7:31.

July is Stephen Harper month at Les Pages aux Folles!

To celebrate the crowning achievement of his Prime Ministership, the G20 summit, I have given Stephen Harper free reign to create My Toronto cartoons throughout the month of July. Of course, when I say "I have given Stephen Harper free reign to create," I really mean, "Stephen Harper took complete control of the creation of." Still, who am I to quibble during his moment of triumph? You can find them on the front page of the site.

To kick off Stephen Harper month, I wrote an ode to the G20 summit called lf{2508::No, THIS Is Democracy::10}. If you cannot get enough comedy at the Conservatives' expense - and, who among us can, really? - you will surely not want to miss this!

The Alternate Reality News Service Grows Up

Have you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes at the Alternate Reality News Service? Of course you didn't! But, now that the question has been raised, it sounds intriguing, no? Okay, probably not. Still, here's the thing: there is now a Facebook group called The Alternate Reality News Service Cafe. If you go there, you will automatically receive a tri-weekly newsletter full of exclusive information. It is also a place where you can contribute to the Alternate Reality News Service and even, perhaps, work your way up the ARNS ladder until you are given a journalistic beat all for yourself. Doesn't that sound exciting?

Don't answer that.

Would you be interested in immortality?

As you may have noticed, there is a weekly feature on Les Pages aux Folles called The Daily Me. Each article in this feature is a collection of bits and pieces of interest to a different person. I probably won't be shocking any of my readers when I say that, to date, I have made the persons up. (If you are shocked, I hear the Girls With Eyepatches site is nice this time of year...) Well, a future Daily Me could feature...you!

Simply send me an email with your name and the names of three or four publications you regularly read and three or four issues/subjects in which you have an interest. Then, let me digest them and, two or three weeks later, The Daily Me could be The Daily You! Your name will appear in my writing...forever! No complicated creams! No messy cryogenic devices! Immortality has never been easier! What are you waiting for?